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David - Please guide Page 4 of 8

This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
No your posts was completely fine.

Its just that i am a overthinker and because of soem know how of bach flower i end up seeing and judging myself from bach flower perspective. i need to focus on my self only and let the new picture (if at all) develop/clear up.

coz of certain condition on my side i get impatient and think that i can maybe bang myself into a cure by bach flower now.

We are definetly on right track as the illusion and pressure of success and failure is gone and now i do think in terms of what i really want to do.

face to face is anyday better. forum can be frustrating but am glad you have the gift of reading people mind.

'A remedy first brings into light those things restricting freedom, and then attempts to break them.' exactly!!!! and i am gettign impatient/confused and want to bang them with bach flower , which is wrong thinking as the remedy itself will sort it all out.

I know overthinking and half-knowledged patients can be very frustrating for practitioners. extremely sry for this toxic combination LOL
 
Spark12 last decade
I think for myself it can be difficult to get a feel for the shifts in the patient. I am alert to the changes in energy, body language, interactions - when people come into my clinic. Here I feel like I am a bit blind.

Ah well we do our best I guess.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David,

I am completely lost so decided to write to you in freestyle way and take your guidance as to what to do.

I don’t know what I want in terms of career and all. Earlier I always focused on plans of one particular Software language (coz salary was high in that) and now I am not sure if that’s what I want to do in life. US doesn’t have any other exciting options in terms of jobs. Here visa issues restricts one to find job in particular domain only. Plus the fact that most companies dont sponser visa.

I am not able to decide whether I should go back to india or stay in US. Going back to India will mean taking a huge fall in terms of money (I just have plans of big salary in US) and basically starting in unknown.

I told this to my sister yesterday and she said that First you put time and money for something and when you are near any kind of job you always run away and start something else. I realized she was true. “Escapism form responsibilty” “I am made for big things” “Dont know what I want to do” “Indecision” “Planning n not working the plans” “laziness” are all part of my nature.

====================

1. Right now with bach flowers I feel as if I need to take 20 to balance me. Surprisingly all of them does help me and even a combination of 9 and 9 taken does help a bit. But not only its too confusing to keep track but also combination of 20 is a world record. Self prescription is idotic. I am not going anywhere because of it. I have decided not to take it starting today.

2. Yesterday I got so frustrated that I checked my feelings and decided to take homeopathy for them and see if it improves. Morning I took a dose of Lyco 30c and not much difference I can say. Night I took a dose of Lachesis 30c and I can say that lachesis did help me a lot. Overcrowding ideas, Clarity and confidence are the areas I can see improve in me. I did it just to see whether is there any hope for me for better behavior or not and out of frustration.

======================

Some of the characterictics of my nature.
1. Gets excited with sexual imagery. It sticks to my head.
2. Indulge in lot of masturbation since childhood.
3. Speaks fast and many times cuts others while speaking.
4. Planning, Thinking – I think a lot, Constant chatter, overcrowding ideas, Extremely good plans
5. Religious and reads a lot of texts (1-2hrs/day)(esp in last few months) and feels as if they wil save me/energise me.
6. I Have also learned Reiki and can feel the subtle energies in my hand.

7. Mind likes to imagine dreaded scenes like standing at crossing what if car crashes n people or me and blood all over. Near water bodies what if I fall. What if building falls over.

8. A feeling of lack , not as good as others
9. Indecisive, Perfection, Not sure, Involved in trivialities
10. Lacks courage and confidence – I cant take bold decision as I am afraid and skeptical of the future, what if it doest turn out good. (I am esp concerned about money in life)
11. Don’t meet challenges, Hides and Covers – Even in simple things when I have to go meet people to get my work done, I feel shy to put my point across and ask for something. I delay and delay.
12. Escapist mentality
13. I feel really good if someone appreciates me or helps me. I become extremely nice to them .
14. Lacks faith in life and gets discouraged fast, I am over analytical. I should

15. I always had a high sense of discontent at every stage of life/career.
16. Comprehension, learning skills are zero. Cant apply my mind.
17. I hate colds, cant tolerate even light drafts of cool breeze.

18. Apprehension and timidity are big part of my nature.


Should I take another dose of VanMet 1m just to clear the picture.
 
Spark12 last decade
See above also...


At an identity level I have always been aloof in my batchmates during Engg, Masters. The identity traits that I carries were.
1. I am better than them
2. I was probably the worse in studies
3. Highly self conscious

During my Education (Engg n MS) I was too nervous and scared for exams. In Engg I had even dropped a year as I had accumulated lot of backlogs.

After completion of my engg also in ever gave a single interview for jobs, probably I was extremely scared that I will be judged and will fall flat. After MS also I didn’t apply for jobs and interviews as even the starting of the process unnerved me.

I have never been able to pro-actively works towards solving any issue. Just continue to sit with great plans and when the crunch time starts to nearby I get unnerved completely.
 
Spark12 last decade
When was the last dose of Vanadium?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Dose taken 1m - 7 July (21 days back)
Drops form bottle - 1
Spoons - 2
 
Spark12 last decade
Hit the bottle 4 times, put 2 drops in a full cup of water, stir and take 1 teaspoon
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
2nd dose of van met 1m

date 27 jul
succ - 5
drops - 2
teaspoon - 2
 
Spark12 last decade
Hi David,

1. Does my above chatter still resemble Van MEt?

2. What are we trying to see with this dose?

3. This van met was definelty a well chosen remedy. So now if the picture changes will it be a completely new state/behaviour or part of it might be old pattern/behaviour?

4. Give me something as to waht to expect so that i can understand what i am /will go through so that i am calm and not worried or trying to use bach flower/homeopathy?

5. Generally classical homoepath are very strict in terms of remedy. Like above i told you that out of frustration i took a dose of lyco and lachesis 30c. i was expecting you to ask me to wait for soem time before next dose of van met.?

is it because the well chosen one acts deeply and the other ones dotn matter?

Thankyou for all your help
 
Spark12 last decade
bumping the thread
 
Spark12 last decade
1.It still resembles the Vanadium although to a lesser degree. For that reason it is more prudent to repeat to see if the remedy will take you further before starting on new remedies.

2. Improvement

3. It is possible you will move into an old state, which will either require different potencies of Vanadium, or a new remedy based on the symptoms of that state. The state must be outside of Vanadium's picture though.

4. I am not sure what else to offer you here. Homoeopathy is as much waiting as it is action, so patience is definitely an asset for a patient (and practitioner).

5. The simillimum is always indicated, other remedies will be only partially correct or wrong, so they are irrelevent unless they have changed the state in some way (changed it away from the simillimum picture).
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Thankyou David for all the help and guidance, It gets frustrating when i get lost in the relapse part.

I had written the state before taking the second dose. After taking the second dose i have felt the difference and clarity so writing 24hrs after the second dose. It might help you and definitely helps me to talk from clarity and not confusion.

=====================

Feelings after Van met 1m - second dose.
This is best time to document all that I feel exactly

This is my real self which where I can see the following themes clearly now

1. Inner Weakness, Smallness, Lacks confidence, Doubts myself, not sure of myself.

I dream of becoming confident (successful – This was earlier defined by me as external image which I made up plans to chase, but now I guess its more about getting oneself tuned from inside) (This external imagery is I guess a way of compensating the reality/potential) Normally also I think a lot In terms of image (dreamy)

Since childhood I felt that others are more confident, they know stuff. I used to be in awe of seniors who were rankers. I was not friendly with the toppers of my batch. I think there was underlying jelousy. I have had very few people who appreciated me. I sort of look forwards to the assurance, appreciation and support.

2. Escapism mentality, Avoidance of work, Procrastination, Indifference, Delays till the last moment, Childhood habit- used to study for exams at the very last moment. Less on maturity, Good at few things that interests me. Can focus my mind only on this that interest me. Other things bore me a lot. Areas of interest – Bach, Homeopathy, Astrology, Occult, Meditation, Reiki, Mantra chanting.

3. Security issues, Have been concerned about money forever. Lack of trust in future.

4. Discontent – I have never been happy with what I have at hand. Major discontentment. I always see/complain as if things happen to me. Have never proactively solved issues.

5. Lacks assertiveness – cant say no to people, always nice to everyone, tries to please people. Lacks will power.

6. Right now also I was supposed to finish lot of things few weeks back, just cant seem to get myself to do those. When it comes in my mind first thing I feel is I am Exhausted/Tired. Too much to do. Secondly “will do later attitude”

7. Don’t like change, likes to be familiar surroundings.

8. Highly sexual, From childhood sexual imagery used to excite me a lot. Still todays it grips me and I indulge in masturbation a lot.

9. My mind always thinks/imagines of building falling, people getting crushed at crossovers, fear near big water bodies.

10. I am too Tired and Exhausted. Guess forever have been, its very much part of my nature.




- I get anxious if something is expected out of me.
- If I have to answer to someone I get anxious in my stomach.
- Even if there is some important task that has to be done, I postpone it a lot. I bring it to extreme deadline.
- If I have to do any work it feels like too huge a task and out of my energy levels
 
Spark12 last decade
Much of that is still covered by Vanadium.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Ok Thats fine.

But i did realise that when it gets confusing/frustrating its time for next dose. I will self check in next 10days.
(second dose i took after 20days, i think i relapsed around 10-12 day only but was trying to boost myself with bach and all partial similuim)

I remember reading somewhere by shankaran that he said that to keep improving after 1m one needs start from LM5/6.

But i guess Little says its best to start from LM1.

What is your experience on this?
 
Spark12 last decade
You don't need to go the LM potency scale - that is mainly for people who need very frequent repetition of the remedy. That isn't the case here as far as I can see - your desire to do more frequent dosing not withstanding lol.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Oh ok.

That was a theoretical question only.

I had the impression that generally after 1m one goes to LM scale.

I guess A partly read homeopathy enthusiast is the worst patient. :)

Glad i didnt read the materia medica!!!


=====================

Earlier i thought that 1m will continue to work atleast for 40-60 days so i got frustrated and completely forgot that i might need another dose. This was a complete surprise when you asked me to take next dose.

In fact last week i experimented with a lot of bach and some homeopathy. and nothing helped as such.

I could directly relate to what you said 'The simillimum is always indicated, other remedies will be only partially correct or wrong, so they are irrelevent unless they have changed the state in some way (changed it away from the simillimum picture).'


Thankyou so much David
 
Spark12 last decade
David this is what i have felt after 2nd dose in last 3 days.

Mornings
If I go for a short walk the day before, my sleep is not at all refreshing the next day, I will have pain in thighs and dry eyes. Eyes feel as if they are pulled back. Also in morning when the sleep completes there are lot of morning dreams/Visuals. I go in and out of these and it’s a struggle to get up, Sleep Is not refreshing.

There is also a sense of fear, apprehension towards future in general.

Afternoon
Discontent/Dissatisfaction is one big theme, Its like normal behavior to me. It evolves easily into disappointment, resentment, self pity and bitterness regarding my fate. Moresoever when I see my friends list and the people who have setteled and in tune with themselves.

There is a general aversion from doing anything, even things that I am supposed to do. Like take interst to take decisions and follow them and get a job, its been 6-7 yrs without job. I feel like as if I am at the receiving end of life and it has to serve me. I don’t feel that I need to actively, courageously work towards making it

Learning/Reading
Aversion from work/learning. I just cant seem to get myself to read anythgin which is required. There are very few topics that interest me like astrology, spirituality and with great efforts I can seem to comprehend them a bit (far from normal comprehension). I just cant get myself to read the book, topics, subjects that will help me get a job.

While reading something my mind gets kind of stuck/lack of comprehension. Its like seeing the written words but they dont make sense/comprehension.

General
I feel a lot of cold, hands get easily cold. I could never tolerate the snow and winters in the north American cities where I live. Never could take bath with cold/luke warm water. I Like sun warmth.

I think I am kind of exhausted myself and my brain needs some sort of strong revitalization. I am kind of too too bored in my mind. By default I go to watch porn and

- There is one more interesting fact I tend to get very sleepy after meals, I tend to eat light quantities.
- When I think I tend to follow the emotions and gets entangled in that feeling.
- I constantly think and I think in terms of images.

I have always dreamed big. This exact cycle has repeated many many times. If I get a slight chance/thought/indication that I can get a job somewhere. My mind starts to race on how I can start there and become a strong leader/Start performer in that business. Image is of a leader, confident and decisive and everybody looks upto and certainly high salary. This is not just a thought but a slide of images I see vividly in my mind.

When the dream ends I do feel venerability and anxiety/apprehension in my chest.


Note to self –
============
1. Write the present symptoms and all that is going on currently.
2. Do not write what you theoretically want
3. Do not worry or get frustrated
 
Spark12 last decade
bumping thread for David.
 
Spark12 last decade
This looks like a worsening of all your normal symptoms and feelings, is that right?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I wont say worsening.

These were there before also but after dose it has gained clarity. Its like i am face to face with main issue.

Second purpose my writing is to separate the actual main symptoms from my theoretical wants and analysis of myself.

Right now i have to make a decision to stick to US or go back to India. and i am afraid it falls under the Van met characteristic of 'Failing/Scrapping the plans big time and then Starting new plan again in a big way'

I am kind of surprised that van met has acts in a very subtle way.

You will have to track if the picture is changing to something else.
 
Spark12 last decade
David, Please see above.

I am kind of confused if This remedy is doing any thing good.

Do these sort of structural remedies act in extremely subtle way?


i think i need something to get me focused, moving, energised in a big way.
 
Spark12 last decade
Hey David, i guess you missed this thread since yest.
 
Spark12 last decade
Hidavid i guess you missed thsi thread 2/3days in a row.

DO you track thread in your mailbox notifications or on the first page of the forum?
 
Spark12 last decade
Please see above also

Apart from above themes which I saw clearly after 2nd dose, some more follows

I am timid and apprehensive. If a new thing comes up I get worried. If a person calls up and asks questions. I get nervous and try to avoid. If there is any sort of interview scenario I get extremely nervous and flight response.

I have never been comfortable with the idea of exam, interview, going and asking something from someone. I please people a lot.

Right now in fornt of me there is huge courseload to learn for job either here or in india. First I get nervous lookin at that, Secondly mind automatically makes plan of perfection in these subjects. When I start I feel its beyond my capacity.
 
Spark12 last decade
Give me a list of previous remedies tried please.

We may need to give you an intercurrent remedy.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
The one remedy that i feel i badly need is Calc Phos.

I took it in jan11 and realised it helped me a hell lot in terms of mental comprehension. It surprisingly also took care of the exhaustion of my mind, body, soul.

In a way i do feel exhausted in my mind, body, soul after Van Met. Also i have been feeling real cold and chilly even in slight AC.
 
Spark12 last decade

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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.