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Thank you. :)

It's been the rage and suicidal despair today. Plus paranoid type stuff and feeling worthless and projecting it out. It tends to happen too fast when I'm PMS'ing to catch it before I act it out.

I'm not having a good time at all today. I'm freezing cold, my womb is pulling me down and I feel so lazy. I'm really whingey.

And I just want 'the world' to go away and leave me alone in peace.
['The world' being work stress stuff around the public consultation re branch closures starting on Monday, worrying news around the world, my flatmates' son being 4 - his age, but being 4... - right now he's making a screeching noise right outside my door, people on the street leaving me with no space, Christmas stuff being 'in my face' and 'Christmas can just [swears] right off as far as I'm concerned' - p'd off teenaged state..]

I can feel the rage and paranoid angst like oozing and flowing upwards from my womb.
And mild cramps.

I feel tearful.

I just want to shut it all out.
Unfortunately my body-psyche goes into my birth trauma stuff around the time before my period. It's been like this for so long. It just happens. Therapy over the years helps me be more conscious of it and more able to bear with it, I guess the Lyssin could magnify it, hold the mirror up even more. I feel a scream coming from my womb. Wanting to reach for the world but also wanting to be insulated from it.

I must just trust that this will pass. There will be safe edges surrounding me again.

I read some of a book online about archetypes in homeopathy the other day, and it talked about Lyssin in the context of Cerberus, the dog who guards the gates of hell.
Thankfully I am no stranger to my internal hells. I just... it's hard. And it's the weekend.

I know there's not really anything anyone can do. I'm just putting this out here in the hope of feeling less alone with it.
Sorrel last decade
Oh, No, please keep posting, it will help you and all of us as we all are watching, hoping and praying for you.

Please be brave, may God bless you?

nawazkhan last decade
Hi Sorrel,

Not that I want you take a remedy right now, since you are close to Helios, (I am giving you a heads-up if go in that direction) can you please procure Lachesis LM1 in 30 ml teat dropper bottle, whenever you get a chance.

It will be good to keep it at hand.

sameervermani last decade
This is the 3rd or 4th day correct? IF Lyssin is responsbile for this and not the oncoming menses, you are most likely in the worst of it now.

I think with further doses of Lyssin or any other remedy, the dilution factor needs to be increased by a large degree to avoid further aggravations in you (as much as that is ever possible).

I will be in and out all day to continue monitoring you.

I generally try to avoid giving women a remedy just before or during their menses so it is clearer what is aggravating them - remedy or their natural cycle.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Thank you.

Sameer, I am actually closer to the London Ainsworths. But I will hold off until after my period as I get REALLY stirred up pre-menstrually anyway. I can get 6c or 30c Lachesis more easily, though, from one of two local health shops.

brisbanehomeopath, today is day 5 and a bit - I took the dose Tuesday evening.

My period is due any day now, possibly even today [which I'm hoping for..]

I felt ok during the night [mostly due to the anti-depressant, it tends to wear off by morning] but this morning I feel irritable and my mind racing. I AM irritable too. I have reprimanded my flatmates' son for making a noise several times already today - he seems so noisy. Starting from when he was crashing and yelling around outside my door earlier when I was still in bed. Sunday is the only day of the week I get to sleep in.
Sorrel last decade
Well if this was an aggravation, things should start to improve in the next few days.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi Sorrel,

Does Ainsworths also sell LM potencies (in liquid form) ?

If yes, please ask them and confirm if they make the remedy bottle with 1 LM granule only.

You can procure LM1 in 30 ml sized bottle with a dropper.

Alternatively, 120 ml bottle will also work, and in that case a dropper will not be needed.

Best Wishes,
sameervermani last decade
I HOPE it's an aggravation which will calm down.... Really I do, as something really doesn't feel right.
A couple of days ago I was 'convinced' that there is nothing wrong with me, that I'm just a big attention seeker. Today I feel like something is really wrong in my head.

The rage has calmed down some. I slept for a couple of hours, which helped some, with a hot water bottle. It's SO cold here, and cold makes me feel so isolated. I also feel like I've lost my physical boundaries - wearing a hat and gloves aggravates that feeling for me.
I'm having a few clear insights though, which shows a glimmer of hope.

I recognise most of this as a more severe version of the PMS/PMDD that I get.

Sameer, I have no idea. I could find out though. Would they give it to me without a formal prescription?

I'll wait until my period has come and is on it's way out. I don't know what brisbanehomeopath thinks.

Last month I took a few dry doses of Sepia 30c around this PMS etc time, and that really helped. But I'm trying my best to hold on in there.
Sorrel last decade
Yes, they will give it to you without a prescription.

Lachesis LM1 in 30 ml teat dropper bottle, with just 1 pellet used to make the remedy solution.

I am pretty certain (since the very beginning), Lachesis is your remedy and it should give long term benefits.
sameervermani last decade
At this stage, there is no way to tell that the aggravation was not a result of the Lyssin, and if it was the remedy then I would expect improvement to follow it.

In any long term chronic case where there is a strong mental component, the changes rarely happen in a few days. It is not unusual for insights into your condition to be one of those signs.

It is not comfortable - as I have said before I treat a lot of mental health cases, the first few weeks are difficult. Until the dust settles it can be hard to be sure of the improvement.

Nobody can be sure of your remedy until it works. Being certain that it is working for your benefit is the most important thing. It appears that your state worsened - this is a normal first reaction to a remedy. So this gives me some confidence. The second week things usually become clearer. It may be at the end of a second week it will a little easier to decide this.

I have no attachment to you being any specific remedy. Whatever cures you is what you should have. Once you make a decision to take a remedy, you must have patience to see it through, even if the result is not what you wanted. I give this same advice to all my patients, even if they want to self-prescribe.

In practice I never make a decision about a remedy for a chronic case until the end of the 2nd week unless the patient is in danger. If you feel that you are unable to cope of course something needs to be done. Otherwise my advice would be to see how the second week progresses.

My normal practice is also to reassess at the end of any remedy reaction, to see if the state has become more clear, or has changed in some way. Even not perfect remedies can reveal a deeper 'layer' or component of the patient's disease.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Lyssin appears to be working. Considering the time spent on remedy selection, sufferings and other investments, in my opinion, we must wait more at least 3-4 days. Changing the remedy will create more problems. We must give Lyssin the chance to work. We might have to go for a higher potency depending upon the up coming symptoms.
nawazkhan last decade
Yes, we should wait for 3-4 more days.

I am just asking the patient to keep Lachesis at hand.

sameervermani last decade
Thanks Sameer.

Lachesis issue at the moment will confuse your patient about the correct remedy selection, more work and money to purchase Lachesis especially when at this time she is starting her cycle and not to mention remedy aggravation she is going thru. Please consider the title of this post and her fears. Change of remedy should be if there was an extreme need (such as matter of life and death) at the moment and the new remedy cannot be obtained in a timely manner? Well, she is in London, not in a remote area. Further, the higher potencies of Lyssin and its compliments should be tried. As we have selected Lyssin as correct remedy for this chronic case after a lengthy therapy sessions, we must let it work as a single remedy. Again, this is my opinion, I have a great respect for you.

May God bless you?

nawazkhan last decade
I think as long as we give each remedy space to do its work, and any practitioner is willing to accept that the prescription might be wrong (as I am) we should be ok on collaborating here.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David (brisbanehomoeopath), I am confused to read your conflicting statements at this time. Right now your admission regarding the wrong prescription and at the same time to give more space for the remedy to work will have great impact on all of us.

Please be clear on space and wrong remedy.

The next course of action must be sound, meaningful, correct and workable.

May God bless you?

nawazkhan last decade
Dear Nawaz,

I do not think I am confusing the patient in any way. I am just asking her to procure a remedy I think will be needed. I am confident about the remedy, and believe me I have my reasons; but I don't want to argue about why I think that remedy is the correct one, because the litmus test will be when it gets tried. I also think it is not at all a problem to admit that a remedy is not correct and I am sure David is gracious enough to admit it, in case Lyssin does not bring benefit.

I do not agree we need to go higher on Lyssin given the aggravation that has happened from the 30c. If things have to improve on it, they will in the next few days (I really hope they do).

Best Wishes,
sameervermani last decade
There is no conflict in the statements. I have not admitted Lyssin is wrong, just as I cannot know yet if it is right. I can only observe the action of the remedy, listen to feedback from the client, and offer an honest assessment when enough time has passed.

There is no collaboration in my own face-to-face clinic. The final decision and responsibility lies with me until the patient is cured or moves on to another practitioner. I am simply trying to find ways for those of us with different ideas to work on the same patient.

Will collaboration work? I don't know.

At this stage, as I have said quite a few times now, aggravation is usually a sign that a remedy is working. However aggravation must be followed by improvement for it to be meaningful in terms of treatment. To know that improvement has happened, you have to wait until the aggravation is over.

Many of my chronic mental health cases may take several weeks to clearly show improvement, much in the way that physical pathology can take time. Mental pathology can be stubborn, tricky and difficult to move just as tisse changes can be.

Often many of the issues that have been suppressed by medication and by certain types of therapies, will resurface. The remedies themselves can unlock things as well, which must be processed or perhaps even treated again by new remedies.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I am too tired to respond directly to all the above.

Just wanted to apolgise for my weekend's 'splurge' of my stuff on this thread. I wasn't in a good place at all.

I feel much more sane today.

It started to feel better yesterday evening. Maybe in part because the weekend was nearly over, and also in part because I feel so much better when the heat is on at home.. Also my period is imminent [as is usual for me - very slight bleeding this morning, and cramps. Bleeding proper should start tomorrow.]
Had a good psychotherapy session this morning, and was at work all afternoon, both of which also help stabilise me.

So it's kind of hard to tell what might be Lyssin settling, and what is my regular 'emotional soothing' things being allowed in.
But I do think something is shifting. As I wasn't letting anyone or anything in emotionally over the weekend, only in flashes.

Writing that has made me feel so tired..
Sorrel last decade
Good Sorrel, movement is still continuing in the right direction.

Most of all that previous discussion was amongst ourselves - you don't need to concern yourself too much with it. Just deal with your own stuff.

I am still hopeful for Lyssin, it is a good first step. As I said earlier, the second week is much easier, improvements will start to be seen. Third week should be even better.

It is hard work! But you are being very brave and I appreciate your commitment to the process.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi Sorrel,

Are you there with us ?

How did the last remedy go ?
sameervermani last decade
I am also interested to know how you are feeling and if you are ok.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
May God bless you Sorrel?

nawazkhan last decade
Hi Sorrel,

It has been over 2 weeks with no contact. I am quite concerned as to your well-being. Are you ok?

David Kempson
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I managed pretty well for a while.
Right now I am struggling so much.
I've had to have my anti-depressant doubled up to my original dose again.

I will almost certainly lose my job - through redundancy/being laid off. My current job grade has been deleted and the new job description, the next grade up has elements that are out of my reach due to my personality and illness. I would be unlikely to be successful at interview. They wouldn't be able to adjust it for me.

I 'lost' my main supportive manager at work already due to her being transferred to cover for someone on maternity leave.

I'm working hard in therapy [though petrified about the Easter Break, the dates of which I don't yet know.][I also don't yet know the date I would have to leave my work, sometime in May seems likely, but who knows..
The levels of uncertainty are overwhelming.

I've used 30C Nux a couple of times, and Arnica 30C when I had some pain after hitting my head repeatedly when the pressure of holding in my feelings became too much [after that I cried intensely - it was in a therapy session.]

When I feel steady, I can hold onto the fact that this is an opportunity for me to find a job that I fit so much better... I am also going through all the stages of grief, and feelings of worthlessness, being forsaken... as well.

I have to sign off now. But I'll be back later and add more if needed.
Sorrel last decade
I am on day 24 of my cycle. Last month it was a 29 day cycle [shorter than average for me].

I feel tearful all the time, and very exposed and scratchy.
I shut people out, out of the fear of feeling more intense loss at separation if I really allow people in or get close.

Yet I crave reassurance and comfort. I feel like there is no comfort.

All these feelings are natural and normal in the situation and in context of my past.

I feel very aggrieved at my employers, and inferior to my colleagues. I keep wanting to tell my story. Yet when people say that I should go for the interview for this higher grade I feel lost and confused and doubt my own awareness of the reality of my limitations.

In addition, I'm physically constipated. This did ease off some with an intense therapy session, and also eating some figs. But has glued up again over the weekend.
It's like my guts have given up, as part of me feels forsaken and has given up emotionally.

My attempts to look for new job opportunities is half hearted, although I am making some small steps like booking an appointment to see the careers advisor.
I feel unemployable, due to my psychiatric disability.
Yet I am also frustrated in my current/soon to be lost job, as I don't have the opportunity to use my creative intelligence.

Basically, I just want to curl up and hide away. I'm really tired and feel very alone. But partly that's my doing, shutting people out.

This is all from the past couple of weeks.
Sorrel last decade
These are still very strong Lachesis symptoms.

In my opinion, you should go to Lachesis 30c or LM1 (30 ml teat dropper bottle for LM1 from Helios).

I can tell you the dosage once you procure either.

sameervermani last decade

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