For Homeodr _{Page 2 of 9}

Ok ---sorry I have to admit, this made me kind of frustrated because nat m has a few key things in my mentals but one that is standing out to me right now is the "hypochondriac" and that possibly you, as have many others, have capitalized on that. If that's the case you've greatly misunderstood me.
I am concerned about my health. But by definition a hypochondriac is *unnecessarily* concerned. I am also greatly concerned about being misunderstood/not taken seriously. When I feel this happening I get very angry and determined all the more to explain myself. I suppose from the outside this probably looks like "case and point".

I get that a medical, titled diagnosis is not as important as a symptom picture, but I have been diagnosed with legitimate things that explain my general complaints; so you can know I'm not making this up.
Hypothyroidism, and I have a genetic mutation called, MTHFR which basically means my body's detox pathways are permanently crippled. So, 29 years of toxins building up and stagnating in my body with limited capacity to eliminate them equals feeling like crap ALL the time, and in a multitude of ways.
So if you put this in a picture, a specific, common disease will often have a clear symptom profile, with variations person to person. A specific disease, a specific toxicity. With the MTHFR I have no specific disease, and a general toxicity.
Toxins wreaking havoc have a vast and uncountable amount of symptoms. Therefore no clear picture. This has got to be why homeopaths are so often stumped by my case.

I look at the materia medica profiles of Nat M and I see some mental stuff, but not exactly. and the physical does not match up in the least. I also understand that mental symptoms are the primary for repertorising, but does that mean you overlook all physicals?

I do feel cold a lot, I am better for warmth. Dry warmth specifically. I feel better in the sun; dramatically.
I am worse after sleep, I toss and turn a lot. If I sit or lay in one position too long I become stiff and sore, which goes away after some movement.
Coldness makes me stiff and irritable. Especially cold wind.
I live in the pacific nw where 90% of the time it's rainy, cold and damp. I hate it. I used to live further east where it's dry, dry, dry and I felt much better.
I mentioned that Calc Flour 6x was very helpful for my tension.
This tension I am always describing to my husband as "rigor mortis". And I always want him to massage my shoulders and back and very firmly.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just feel like all that talk about a single mental scenario missed a huge part of my picture...
Does any of this change your mind?
[message edited by rom109 on Wed, 19 Oct 2016 23:31:05 UTC]

okay. thank you for that explanation.
Sorry for the outburst. It was actually after I did take the dose.
It really aggravated my headache and added an element of nausea and slight vertigo. Along with extreme general anger/frustration/defensiveness.

I feel better today. I'll get back to you.

Hey so I know it's not been nearly a week but I am having a really hard time.
The first two days were pretty good. Over all physically I am feeling waaaay better. The mental fog is like 75% lifted and I don't feel so heavy. Motivation is pretty good too.

But I am getting more and more depressed each day. Also I have been sleeping horribly. I sleep wonderfully hard till about 3-4 AM when I am woken up by awful dreams that feel incredibly real and are emotionally troubling through the rest of the day.
I'm really tired but I am kind of afraid to go back to sleep because I don't want any more of these dreams.
I want to cry all the time. There is no real reason, but everything makes me want to cry.

My dreams consist of my son being taken away from me, me being trapped somewhere against my will and my husband deciding he doesnt want to be with me anymore.
Also some about my dad dying or getting lost in the woods. (He lives out in the country.)

I feel like they were so real. I feel the emotions of the dream all day.

I'm wondering if I should or could take another dose of Nat M. Dynamized maybe? At this point I'm kind of scared to go up to 200c anyways....
What do you think?

Oh--
I'm also extremely irritable. Primarily at the dogs--they're constantly in my way. I get so angry I'm yelling at them and eventually just lock them up in their room for a while.
I'm so irritated I can't even stand them looking at me.

I think I should also mention for one, with the intense emotions I have a strong desire to get away from "it all". I wish I could just storm out of the house, or leave the room and am the door....

Also when I woke up from bad dreams this morning my legs and feet were incredibly sore and achy. I couldn't stretch them enough.
My lips feel raw and chapped especially in the middle of my lower lip.
In the morning my eyes burn and itch around my eye lashes and it's really difficult to open my eyes because they feel so heavy and my eyes feel sort of dry too.
My mouth feels dry but it's not. And it tastes/feels slightly bitter and rough.
These are all the things that have changed since the dose.

I really feel like I'm proving this remedy .....:-/

Another week?

(Thanks, but I don't practice yoga/meditation as it is contrary to my faith. )

A lot of the physical symptoms are leaving. And the bad dreams, too. But the depression and sadness is continuing. Also my legs hurt really badly. From my glutes all the way down the back side of my thighs and calves and bottoms of my feet. They feel bruised and sore like I was walking uphill all day or something.
Can you explain to me how it's not proving the remedy if it's given me just about every symptom listed in the mm?
This is making me very emotionally unstable.
I think with me it's wise to remember the emotional state is analogous to the physical condition--my body can't detox properly. Neither can my mind, obviously, since I hold on to past hurts. But the layers have to be purged slowly and carefully or else I go into toxic overload.

Okay. Thanks for being understanding.
I will fill that out ASAP. This week is very busy for me as my sons birthday is on Saturday and I have a lot to do!

Talk to you soon.

Thanks

1. Describe your main and associated complaints in details. What things aggravate your complaints and things that ameliorate them? How frequently does each complaints occur?
- fatigue, brain fog/lack of mental clarity and poor memory, lack of motivation. Unrefreshing sleep, difficulty waking up in AM and difficulty falling asleep at night.
Being overwhelmed mentally aggravates most complaints. (Fatigue brain fog mental clarity). In a chaotic social environment (too much mental stimulation). Being put on the spot.
Each complaint occurs mostly daily.
I usually feel a little better after a hot shower, and after/while eating. Drinking lots of water -ice water is good. Keeping moving, and not thinking too much about what I have yet to do helps me feel more motivated and a little bit more mental clarity.

2. Describe the events before the complaints started. The events can be related to mental or emotional state or it can be any physical event.
- the majority of the issues started about the same time I started taking birth control. As I continued to take it(over the years) the issues grew worse). This was also a time in my life that I got married and moved away from home. Had to live with in laws. Big changes.

3. How exactly it started?
- by taking birth control, mainly. I've always had difficulty thinking clearly/quickly. And waking up in the morning. Even as a young child.


4. How do u manage your daily routine with these complaints? How this complaint does concerns you? And what comes to your mind when you think about it?
- get as much sleep as I can(sleep in in the AM). I'm always snacking on food...going to the fridge and looking for that unknown thing I'm craving. Caffeine....
- It concerns me because it makes me feel inadequate for the task of being a good mother and stay at home mom/wife. I desperately want to be able to take care of my kids and husband without such a struggle, without having to feel like I can barely do it. And I worry that if we have more kids or if I have to homeschool, how am I even going to be able to handle that? I want to be better for them.


5. Have you taken any treatment or medication for it? List them.
- I have tried various remedies so far. The last few have been(in no particular order) Nat Mur, Sepia, Coffea, Lycopodium, Calc Carb... I also have all 12 tissue salts in hand, including #15 Kali Iodatum 7x. Which I use as needed for acute issues. Also use a few of the Bach Flower remedies for help sleeping and sometimes for daytime motivation. They help a little.
- I have tried anti anxiety meds and sleeping aides....they only exasperated the situation.


6. Do you have any family history of similar complaints? List them.
- my mom and sisters all have similar energy related issues, and mental stuff.


7. Describe any life event that has made major impact on you. What are the issues in your life that's bothering you? Kindly describe the mental or emotional state in detail.
- my grandparents were a big deal in my childhood. They're are a few incidents that scarred me. There was at least one occurrence of physical abuse, and too many to count mental abuses. My parents got divorced when I was young. My sisters got in a huge fight when I was just married, because they were continuing to be friends with my ex-best friend who was only befriending them to get to me. I felt betrayed and like they didn't care about me at all. They chose her over me. We didn't even speak for a year. My sons birth was pretty huge. It was traumatic for me. Very intense and fast labor.


8. Describe you behavior, your mental state with your family members, and outside the family. (anger, irritability, anxiety, fears etc) Explain how you react to these behaviors. If possible provide some examples to get clear idea of your mental state.
- I don't see my family all too often. My sisters are around but they have their own lives. They're busy. It makes me sad and I feel left out a lot. One of my sisters is making poor decisions with her life that are keeping her away and she knows it but isn't changing. It makes me pretty upset with her. But I can't do anything about it. My dad and I used to be really close but we've hit heads over a few religious differences and have really separated a bit in our relationship, sadly. I worry about him. He lives alone.
- My in-laws are also distant. I don't have anything in common with them. We're friendly. They make me uncomfortable and self-conscious.

9. How do you feel about your friends and family?
- see above.

10. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
- I dream a lot about being trapped in a different place away from my husband. Not being able to get ahold of him on the phone, or get to where he is. I am frightened, desperate, and isolated in the dream, and in my attempts to get ahold of him I find him either being unfaithful, or that he has lost interest in me. I dream a lot about my day to day concerns, random issues or objects that I need to deal with or address in the following days.
- Im afraid of water. Bodies of water, especially lakes. I hate going in past my knees, it makes me feel out of control and constricted. I fear myself or my loved ones drowning. I'm afraid of large fish like if I walk into the aquarium at the zoo the bigger fish(more than 12") give me quite a bit of anxiety. I have to look away and leave the area.


11. How do you think you are different from others?
- I think I'm maybe more socially handicapped than others. I feel extremely uncomfortable in public, and I don't feel like I know how to make true friends. I don't know what to say. I either say nothing or say too much.


12. How do you react when you get angry?
- If I have the option to write my response, then I have a lot to say. I'm very good with my words and thoughts on paper. I can really go off and try to make the person who angered me feel justice with my words. If I am confronted face to face, I usually become awkwardly uncomfortable; I might smile instead of look upset. Shock. I most usually just get quiet and try to find a way to hide my face from that person. Get away. Everything inside me wants to get as far away as possible.

13. Does empathy or sympathy affects you? How?
- it depends on who it's from. Someone I don't know very well, or have not let in to my inner person with trust, I might back away and try to make the issue seem less in order to escape that spotlight. Or I might become irritated at them with a feeling that they don't really get it. But if it is a person who I truly trust, and know they get it and that they are being genuine, I receive it well and it makes me feel comforted. Usually this latter person is only my husband.

14. How do you overcome your mental stress?
- I do my best to push it out of my mind. Whether that means stop thinking about it, or procrastinate on something I don't want to deal with...I try to get myself to take on little bits of the issue at a time instead of freaking out over the whole large scale picture.

15. How do you react if someone dominates you? What are your exact feelings at that time?
- I get angry. I recoil and try to get out of the situation, usually. Unless it is something where I have already willingly subjected myself to being under that person. I tend to feel like, I am my own person, how dare you tell me what to do. You can't control me. I feel like they're trying to trap me.

16. Describe your sleep, dreams, appetite and general energy level.
- I don't sleep super great because the baby still wakes frequently in the night to nurse and cuddle. If he's not in bed with me I sleep hard I think. And I mean hard...because I become stiff as a rock for lack of moving. I have to kind of stretch and limber up to get blood circulating again. I change positions a lot. No side is better, except the one I haven't been laying on is better for a few hours.
- I dream quite often. Very active, stressful dreams. Emotionally charged with emotions that often stick with me the next day, as though the dream were real. My appetite is weird. I don't like the haste of preparing food and I'll go way too long (especially on the early part of the day) without food and feel awful for it. Otherwise I will snack every hour or so because I feel that awful "I haven't eaten enough" feeling constantly.
- My energy is pretty low. It comes in spurts. Mostly in the evening. Most of the day I just want to sit on the couch, and not move much because I feel pretty lethargic. I just think of what I should or need to do and it feels like too much, so I don't do anything.

17. What kind of weather suits you the best or u like the most?
- I love warm/hot dry weather with the sun out and blue sky. Light breeze. I hate cold damp wind though. I hate cold damp. I hate muggy. The cold wind makes me tense and angry.
- The sunny weather makes me feel motivated and fresh and content.

Okay so I have noticed some improvements in the last week. I had a very busy weekend planning and preparing and throwing my sons first birthday party.
I noticed most of all that I had a consistent level of creative energy, and also (biggest thing) I have not been caring so much what people are going to think or are thinking when I am wanting to say or do things. I'm just acting. Which is good because I usually over think so much that it cripples me.
The major depression is gone. But I still feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat....if there is something so sweet and meaningful being said, or if I get my feelings hurt. I do not allow myself to cry, but i do feel like it.
Also I am experiencing an excessive amount of jelly-like leucorrhea. For a few days my uterus felt swollen and crampy. This has happened to me my last three cycles. I took Sepia for it the first two times and it wound go away. This time I have not done anything.

And yes, I am incredibly sensitive to homeopathic remedies.

Never mind the leucorrhea. It stopped.
Yesterday and today my common overwhelming sleepiness is coming back. I haven felt it in over two weeks.

Today is much better for tiredness.

So for the sake of honesty/full disclosure, i'll let you know what I did.

As a side note, coffee has never worked as an antidote for remedies with me. Don't know why...it either aggravates, or has no effect.

Anyways....so in aphorisms 246-248 in the Organon he talks about repeating doses using dynamization etc. ....
After I told you I was so depressed I could not handle that so I took a 30c and dissolved in 4oz of water and then took a tsp of that and diluted in another 4oz, and a tsp of that in a 16oz bottle of water and proceeded to succuss that 25(picked a random number) times and dosed a tsp of that.
So that dose aggravated again a slight headache which went away by evening. The next day I felt worlds better. No depression, and good mental clarity and motivation with a desire to be creative again. This lasted until three days ago. Yesterday I said the tiredness was returning--so I took another minute dose from my solution, this time succussing 35 times and taking 1/2 tsp. Last night it seemed to aggravate the depression as I ended up crying over something between my husband and I. It was also extremely difficult to wake up this morning.
However today I feel tons better again, and even more clear headed. I got so much done and organized.

Translate what's happened however you think best. I did what I had to do to make it through the week :/ ....
Like to know your opinion though for sure.
Thanks.

Oh,
Yes!
The improvement in the area of not worrying about what people are thinking...that's huge. I'm really kind of excited about that.

Okay.
I'm wondering a few things....like how long is my solution good for until I should replace it?
And how many succussions in the 30c are reasonable before I should move up to the 200c (diluted the same way, of course)?

Also, did you get a chance to look at your questionnaire I filled out?

Thanks

Update:
This week I e noticed more improvement and some downs, too.

Like I'm still feeling fairly ok energetic during the day...it is horrendously difficult to wake up in the morning.
My self confidence is still improving...I still anticipate shyness and awkward conversations, but once I'm in the throws of a conversation I am not thinking about what I'm saying and how I'm saying it and bla bla.
Downsides, I have been/still am forgetting words mid sentence. These are usually words that are names of objects or people....I may even be looking at the object and I picture what it is but the word goes away. Strange.
Also I have been craving carbs and sweets almost uncontrollably. Primarily fruit.
My sleep has been ok, until last night all the sudden it got terrible again. My body just aches, and whatever side I'm laying on is so sore and painful. There is stiffness all over. The bottoms of my feet and my toes especially hurt.
I also dreamed about a bear chasing me and I couldn't find a hiding spot.

Hello-

So the other night I told you I cried because of something between my husband and I....well that night he opened up to me a little and that had a positive impact on me. I think the crying was a relief, and also that he kind of changed his posture a little as well. Since then I have been finding it easier to just be normal with him.

I am not being so sensitive to him. Every once in a while a little thing will get to me but it doesn't linger too long. I would say in general it is slowly improving.

I did take another small dose succussed 40x's yesterday (Monday). I did not notice too much aggravation, except a slightly heavy sensation in my lungs. It's gone today and it was much easier to wake up this morning. The sweets cravings are much more manageable today, too.

So i just had a couple of strange days. Day before yesterday I became extremely tired again and it continued into the next day. Yesterday I was tired but able to get up and do stuff if I just didn't think about it, but my mind was still very fuzzy and I felt kind of not there.
I went grocery shopping and when I got home my period had started and it's about 2 weeks later than it should be.
I felt a bunch of odd things during the day; slight nausea, aversion to food yet still hungry. All the sudden specific desire for ice water which helped the nausea.
I am feeling just plain irritable and slightly impatient.
My husband got home late last night(which was fine) but then also got a call from his brother at 9pm (bedtime) and he answered it and was stuck on the phone for at least a half hour. That irritated me pretty badly, but I didn't fester, I just was irritated and then went to bed and he said sorry and I just felt like, whatever.

Today has been extra strange. I went to see my horse and usually that's a huge deal for me. He means a great deal to me, and I always feel such a strong connection and that being with horses is my "thing".
Well today I felt a certain level of indifference that hasn't been there before. I had a good time but there wasn't that flood of nostalgia, or the "I've missed you so much" feeling.
Moreso I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of him. ...
That had a lot to do with the farrier told me he's got "white line disease" in at least one hoof and I've got to keep it clean and dry and he has to cut away a good portion of the hoof to dig out the infected part.($$$$ :( )
So I was stressed about that, for sure.
But it's just weird to me my indifferent reaction. I have never felt it. Am I just having an off day? Am I just cranky because it's that time of the month?
Is the remedy really changing me this much.....and do I still love horses (my horse) as much as I thought I did, or was it just me holding onto something--some sentimental idea in my mind--from the past???
I'm really frustrated(with the hoof situation) and confused right now.

Someone once told me that eating pork while using homeopathy can cause aggravations....is that a thing even??
I do kind of feel like whenever I have pork I feel not so good but idk if its a coincidence or not...??
What do you think?