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A few questions Page 3 of 6
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The greatest problem is of me being myself around people and not closed. To show myself and not be afraid. I simply cannot take it if I get the feeling that I wasnt good enough or annoying, boring.
The greatest assets one can have to me are a really good appearance, a really good personality and than most of all be expressive, to convey emotions, like an actor able to captivate an audience. When I am in such state where I can do this I feel wonderful, there is nothing better. But it almost never happens anymore sadly. A few days ago when I took aurum metallicum I got into this state, its a bit over the top though, excessive not balanced.
All my problems would go if I could get this back. Be like that always.
But there seems to be some natrum muriaticum-like sadness beneath this driving all this. Well those are my thoughts but not sure of course, probably am wrong, but just saying to make it aware
[message edited by vitamin.X on Fri, 07 Oct 2011 05:19:32 BST]
The greatest assets one can have to me are a really good appearance, a really good personality and than most of all be expressive, to convey emotions, like an actor able to captivate an audience. When I am in such state where I can do this I feel wonderful, there is nothing better. But it almost never happens anymore sadly. A few days ago when I took aurum metallicum I got into this state, its a bit over the top though, excessive not balanced.
All my problems would go if I could get this back. Be like that always.
But there seems to be some natrum muriaticum-like sadness beneath this driving all this. Well those are my thoughts but not sure of course, probably am wrong, but just saying to make it aware
[message edited by vitamin.X on Fri, 07 Oct 2011 05:19:32 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
hmm I had kind of strong anticipatory anxiety when my father came to face him but I did it anyway. A bit strange when I was just coming down the stairs it got strong. Must be aggravation but it feels really stable again from the platina I took beforehand I am assuming, cannot really feel that it is an aggravation except in those situations.
My BDD briefly bothered me also. My nose seemed huge again. And I thought about the battle I have with this BDD and got an ego from it. Feeling good about all those issue of mine being thrown at me but they cannot touch me.
I got the ego from earlier on today when I was told I am probably not lycopodium. And that is how it is with me. If I am nothing big or great I am really depressed and will make no effort, but on the other hand if I know I have it I can really shine.
The next day after I took lycopodium I had the thought about how I distanced myself or exluded myself from being like this one female singer which I believe is Platina by taking lycopodium. I am not like her. But I was ok with it and just wanted to get cured.
I do think relatively high of myself I must assume. To high and that is were all those problems are coming from but I cannot help it. I cannot give this up so easily. Who would?
Again I do not think I should ever go to university to study for years, I should be just given something.
I am back in a very egoistical state. I better go now lol
I miss the palladium state where I was in such a fighting mood
[message edited by vitamin.X on Fri, 07 Oct 2011 06:55:16 BST]
My BDD briefly bothered me also. My nose seemed huge again. And I thought about the battle I have with this BDD and got an ego from it. Feeling good about all those issue of mine being thrown at me but they cannot touch me.
I got the ego from earlier on today when I was told I am probably not lycopodium. And that is how it is with me. If I am nothing big or great I am really depressed and will make no effort, but on the other hand if I know I have it I can really shine.
The next day after I took lycopodium I had the thought about how I distanced myself or exluded myself from being like this one female singer which I believe is Platina by taking lycopodium. I am not like her. But I was ok with it and just wanted to get cured.
I do think relatively high of myself I must assume. To high and that is were all those problems are coming from but I cannot help it. I cannot give this up so easily. Who would?
Again I do not think I should ever go to university to study for years, I should be just given something.
I am back in a very egoistical state. I better go now lol
I miss the palladium state where I was in such a fighting mood
[message edited by vitamin.X on Fri, 07 Oct 2011 06:55:16 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
hmm a bit of weird bad things I talked about again.
-I felt this strong sexual feelings in me all afternoon that made me weak and later fall asleep, it happened on the arg-nit too, and in the past aswell
-I felt this strong sexual feelings in me all afternoon that made me weak and later fall asleep, it happened on the arg-nit too, and in the past aswell
vitamin.X last decade
I have a question about anacardiums 2 wills. BTW I havent read upon remedies, I stopped doing it again a few days ago after taking platina which made me calm down.
So anacardium describes it as an angel and devil talking in one ear if I remember correct. Is this always so? Because I surely would never describe it in such way.
When ancardium is cruel does one voice keep telling them a few times that they should stop but the voice unfortunately has no real impact?
My situation is like this:
-For example yesterday. I saw a post of daktersaab about that he will leave and I had the thought of posting something that would be considered bad in his thread. But I did not do it.
- At night I once went to the toilet and my dog walked by stayed and looked at me. And this often triggers me that I keep looking at her in a bad way and then if I see fear in her face that triggers me even more. And I might have gotten in the past into my cruel state if that is the right word. I dont think I have done anything really that bad. But in this state I really could. Theres like a very quiet voice in the background that tells me to stop, but I cant and dont want.
So I am ok and have this under control, especially when it comes to my dog.
On dating sites I often get the thought of writing something bad to girls but I never do it. I really dont know for what reason I get those thoughts, maybe because I am unhappy or feel hurt by not getting replies.
I certainly do like to hide my bad side though and think of myself as an angel. I dont know whether I am one or not. But I believe I improved and do not do bad things anymore, no violence.
And in general when I repertorized a few days ago, I noticed anacardium isnt even listed under humiliation, embarrassment so it for sure cannot be my remedy anyway. But the childhood description fits somehow. Tight control and punishment, and I have irresolution when it comes to my father- although that would be out of a fear of criticism and humiliation. not punishment I think
So anacardium describes it as an angel and devil talking in one ear if I remember correct. Is this always so? Because I surely would never describe it in such way.
When ancardium is cruel does one voice keep telling them a few times that they should stop but the voice unfortunately has no real impact?
My situation is like this:
-For example yesterday. I saw a post of daktersaab about that he will leave and I had the thought of posting something that would be considered bad in his thread. But I did not do it.
- At night I once went to the toilet and my dog walked by stayed and looked at me. And this often triggers me that I keep looking at her in a bad way and then if I see fear in her face that triggers me even more. And I might have gotten in the past into my cruel state if that is the right word. I dont think I have done anything really that bad. But in this state I really could. Theres like a very quiet voice in the background that tells me to stop, but I cant and dont want.
So I am ok and have this under control, especially when it comes to my dog.
On dating sites I often get the thought of writing something bad to girls but I never do it. I really dont know for what reason I get those thoughts, maybe because I am unhappy or feel hurt by not getting replies.
I certainly do like to hide my bad side though and think of myself as an angel. I dont know whether I am one or not. But I believe I improved and do not do bad things anymore, no violence.
And in general when I repertorized a few days ago, I noticed anacardium isnt even listed under humiliation, embarrassment so it for sure cannot be my remedy anyway. But the childhood description fits somehow. Tight control and punishment, and I have irresolution when it comes to my father- although that would be out of a fear of criticism and humiliation. not punishment I think
vitamin.X last decade
Humiliation and embarassment are common human feelings. Everyone has them - every remedy has them. That is not how you eliminate remedies.
Do you understand what eliminating rubrics are? Do you know how to choose them?
Students make fatal mistakes using the wrong eliminating rubrics. I usually catch them out in exams that way, if they have not understood what is being taught in class. The wrong eliminating rubric will eliminate the right remedy - and you are lost then, without even understanding why.
Anacardium feels a conflict between right and wrong, with a feeling as if they are caught between two opposing trains of thought or opinions. The duality of Anacardium relates directly back to the plant sensations of being stuck, unable to move. They get trapped between two opinions, and cannot make a decision, so they get stuck morally.
Most of the Anacardium people I have seen have expressed no cruelty at all. Many of them never expressed the conflict between right and wrong either. It was more a feeling of being caught between two opposing things, two opposite things, and not being able to move or act (which is the Anarcardiacea group sensation).
You cannot eliminate on the basis of a common feeling or symptom. You can only eliminate on the basis of a strong peculiar or characterisitc symptom.
Do you understand what eliminating rubrics are? Do you know how to choose them?
Students make fatal mistakes using the wrong eliminating rubrics. I usually catch them out in exams that way, if they have not understood what is being taught in class. The wrong eliminating rubric will eliminate the right remedy - and you are lost then, without even understanding why.
Anacardium feels a conflict between right and wrong, with a feeling as if they are caught between two opposing trains of thought or opinions. The duality of Anacardium relates directly back to the plant sensations of being stuck, unable to move. They get trapped between two opinions, and cannot make a decision, so they get stuck morally.
Most of the Anacardium people I have seen have expressed no cruelty at all. Many of them never expressed the conflict between right and wrong either. It was more a feeling of being caught between two opposing things, two opposite things, and not being able to move or act (which is the Anarcardiacea group sensation).
You cannot eliminate on the basis of a common feeling or symptom. You can only eliminate on the basis of a strong peculiar or characterisitc symptom.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Interesting.
No I dont know about eliminating rubrics
I would not say I am cruel at all either, definitely not for the past year, havent done anything, but it is hard being objective about yourself.
And it is even a bit harder finding a remedy because I learnt over the years quite many things and improved.
Oh god seems like an impossible task.
I noticed yesterday how I was angry about my younger brother leaving a mess after eating and not cleaning up after himself. I surely am not going to do it but leave it. And then the scenario came in my mind like in the past where my parents insist that I do it and I find great unjust in that. Like it is totally wrong and would yell around and feel like there is nothing I can do about it. In the end I will have to do it . But now I would take the higher way and not even get angry or humiliate myself, just think to myself what idiots they all are and how wrong they are.
Funny that this old scenario of how I would deal with it in the past came into my mind yesterday, maybe lycopodium has something to do with it. I hated it and felt a bit in danger. I hate it when I am forced to do something that is wrong and no one listens. Getting forced by everyone. And the feeling of what an idiot I must be, by the way they all treat me around me.
No I dont know about eliminating rubrics
I would not say I am cruel at all either, definitely not for the past year, havent done anything, but it is hard being objective about yourself.
And it is even a bit harder finding a remedy because I learnt over the years quite many things and improved.
Oh god seems like an impossible task.
I noticed yesterday how I was angry about my younger brother leaving a mess after eating and not cleaning up after himself. I surely am not going to do it but leave it. And then the scenario came in my mind like in the past where my parents insist that I do it and I find great unjust in that. Like it is totally wrong and would yell around and feel like there is nothing I can do about it. In the end I will have to do it . But now I would take the higher way and not even get angry or humiliate myself, just think to myself what idiots they all are and how wrong they are.
Funny that this old scenario of how I would deal with it in the past came into my mind yesterday, maybe lycopodium has something to do with it. I hated it and felt a bit in danger. I hate it when I am forced to do something that is wrong and no one listens. Getting forced by everyone. And the feeling of what an idiot I must be, by the way they all treat me around me.
vitamin.X last decade
My brain wasn't working earlier. I meant since I feel humiliated so quick always. Humiliation is a strong symptom and since it isn't even listed under anacardium I doubt it would be my remedy is what I meant.
vitamin.X last decade
Humiliation is not a symptom, it is a feeling, a normal human one. Ailments from humiliation is the symptom. If you don't get symptoms from being humiliated, then it is not appropriate to use the rubric.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
How can one feel humiliated but not have ailments from it? Hard to believe it could be otherwise.
I have a gigantic fear of humiliation and ailments from it. And no confidence or self esteem therefore.
But except with strangers or in school I do not stay quiet or non reactive. I yell and get angry by the injustice to me. At home I get very angry by the unjust being done to me. But there was nothing in the past I could do about it when my father would get aggressive or violent. The violence was never the problem but I could not get answers or say anything back. It made me feel horrible and did not understand anything anymore. Why I was always labelled the bad guy and treated this way
I dont know, the unjust of my parents is on my mind today and I want to hate them but then when I feel the hate it goes away instantly. My strong emotions go when I want to feel them . And I rationalize how they just did the best they knew. And I hate mentioning that someone was violent to me in the past as it makes me look really bad. But there was sort of abuse I have gotten when I was around 14 when people grabbed my shoe and threw it around on a playing field and I didnt do anything about it. I could not react out of fear that I will get even more humiliated or abused. Best to just not do anything. Humiliation is such problem. I couldnt even talk to a 5 year old girl without feeling humiliated instantly.
What can I do to not feel humiliated so quick always? And when I walk past a group of people of my age I fear they will abuse me. Say bad things or whatever and I do not know what to do in such situation. I have no strategy other than to do nothing and try not appear red in my face or look anxious? When I speak to a stranger I always humiliate myself, my words come out unclearly from the fear of humiliation in advance, so that I really speak unclearly than. My eyes which start staring so quick are also a problem
I have a gigantic fear of humiliation and ailments from it. And no confidence or self esteem therefore.
But except with strangers or in school I do not stay quiet or non reactive. I yell and get angry by the injustice to me. At home I get very angry by the unjust being done to me. But there was nothing in the past I could do about it when my father would get aggressive or violent. The violence was never the problem but I could not get answers or say anything back. It made me feel horrible and did not understand anything anymore. Why I was always labelled the bad guy and treated this way
I dont know, the unjust of my parents is on my mind today and I want to hate them but then when I feel the hate it goes away instantly. My strong emotions go when I want to feel them . And I rationalize how they just did the best they knew. And I hate mentioning that someone was violent to me in the past as it makes me look really bad. But there was sort of abuse I have gotten when I was around 14 when people grabbed my shoe and threw it around on a playing field and I didnt do anything about it. I could not react out of fear that I will get even more humiliated or abused. Best to just not do anything. Humiliation is such problem. I couldnt even talk to a 5 year old girl without feeling humiliated instantly.
What can I do to not feel humiliated so quick always? And when I walk past a group of people of my age I fear they will abuse me. Say bad things or whatever and I do not know what to do in such situation. I have no strategy other than to do nothing and try not appear red in my face or look anxious? When I speak to a stranger I always humiliate myself, my words come out unclearly from the fear of humiliation in advance, so that I really speak unclearly than. My eyes which start staring so quick are also a problem
vitamin.X last decade
In the afternoon I was tired again and felt like wanting to fall asleep and thought of sexual stuff again.
Than later irritability grew with my network connection. I felt like wanting to throw things, but it would dissapear instantly again but later I had enough. Could not take it anymore and started hitting the keys on my keyboard harder and harder. I hate it when nothing works the way it is supposed to work.
And I have gotten into my bad mood where I think bad of everyone.
Than later irritability grew with my network connection. I felt like wanting to throw things, but it would dissapear instantly again but later I had enough. Could not take it anymore and started hitting the keys on my keyboard harder and harder. I hate it when nothing works the way it is supposed to work.
And I have gotten into my bad mood where I think bad of everyone.
vitamin.X last decade
I dont like the situation I am in. I took remedies and expected to know if I hit the similimum. Have an experience like I had when taking Platina, where I can tell on the first week or 2 that the remedy is good.
But now that apparently this isnt even the case and often it takes 2 doses for a remedy to work I feel completely lost. Here I took lycopodium and I dont know whether I am wasting time on it or not?
Also it is really hard finding a remedy. Today I felt like I am back and in touch with the old me, where no ego is present but later it was here again. How can I be once like Platina and at other times the opposite. Although when I am like Platina it is just in my head. I would not be that way in front of people ever.
Difficult, difficult. I am nothing big or high it is just a front I believe and than there is the knowledge and strong self awareness I have and I am so CHANGEABLE also... I would have to sit down and think really deeply about everything and it could be done if I took the time and calmed down, but I cant. Deep down I am mild, gentle, could never hurt anyone, afraid of people mistreating me or abusing me. Of humiliation.
Platina must have worked because of the pride, strong sexual desire, internal haughtiness, thinking I am special, and the ego. That is all I can think of, but it doesnt cover many other things. What I hated on platina is that after a week or so all would come to a standstill, no more improvements and I would get restless. Wish that something would continue happening
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sat, 08 Oct 2011 11:25:54 BST]
But now that apparently this isnt even the case and often it takes 2 doses for a remedy to work I feel completely lost. Here I took lycopodium and I dont know whether I am wasting time on it or not?
Also it is really hard finding a remedy. Today I felt like I am back and in touch with the old me, where no ego is present but later it was here again. How can I be once like Platina and at other times the opposite. Although when I am like Platina it is just in my head. I would not be that way in front of people ever.
Difficult, difficult. I am nothing big or high it is just a front I believe and than there is the knowledge and strong self awareness I have and I am so CHANGEABLE also... I would have to sit down and think really deeply about everything and it could be done if I took the time and calmed down, but I cant. Deep down I am mild, gentle, could never hurt anyone, afraid of people mistreating me or abusing me. Of humiliation.
Platina must have worked because of the pride, strong sexual desire, internal haughtiness, thinking I am special, and the ego. That is all I can think of, but it doesnt cover many other things. What I hated on platina is that after a week or so all would come to a standstill, no more improvements and I would get restless. Wish that something would continue happening
[message edited by vitamin.X on Sat, 08 Oct 2011 11:25:54 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
Today I woke up with my ego again unlike yesterday and it feels like lycopodium isnt right. That my problems are far above lycopodium, it is not just a fear of failure and of new situations. It is a problem with everything or in the deepest sense it is a problem with me, with who I am.If I wanted to be happy there would need to be a drastic change. Lots of things would have to change about me and my life situation since I have very high standards. Or on the other hand I could get healed so that this would not matter anymore.
I am somehow a mix between:
Platina (my ego problems and the deepest problems I would say)
|
Staphysagria/Nat mur (my emotional problems and problems with humiliation, ridicule, I am also soft and mild often, care about my father etc)
|
Carcinosim or Palladium since they are close they say (for my issues with being controlled tightly, pleasing, approval seeking, unable to say no)
Yesterday I was without an ego and 100% sure Platina isnt my similimum just like I thought and after I read over what I wrote yesterday I noticed stapysgaria seems like a good fit and it fits my past. But than I have gotten a big ego in the afternoon again and my doubts about staphysgaria came in. If they dont have an ego it isnt me.
From the list of remedies above it seems like Platina is just what I need. Only question I have is whether Platina must not necessarily always be the high egoistical haughty person. Can they also be mild and friendly to their father for example? To strangers? I am in my own world often but when I interact with people face to face I am not anymore.
When I take platina there is an instant change deep inside of me. I feel very balanced. Hard to describe, it is as if all the outside noise goes away and all is good. But a few days on when my BDD isnt a problem anymore and I feel good without worry in my home it feels like things stopped. And I worry this will stay that way which makes me restless. I dont want to be happy to be just at home without having issues, I want to move further.
=============
Right now I cannot say past feeling less numb that lycopodium did anything. My BDD isnt a big problem currently, but I am definitely not happy with the size of my nose and the flattering side of my nose when I breath since damaging it a week or so ago.
I was interested in reading some books yesterday. And got me a so called great book on self confidence but there was just the usual stuff in it, that I cannot stand anymore. So I got me a rather spiritual book with knowledge and wisdom rather. It isnt a pure spiritual book as those books just depressed me so deeply in the past and I stay away from them now. I could never express clearly why they so depressed me but now I can... If an individual on this world becomes someone big and great it is tainted or tarnished. If an athlete becomes a superstar it is because he felt really small on the inside and felt the need to become something big and great to SURVIVE. Tarnished. It wasnt his individual effort, it isnt something he decided. It is a common thing to the human ego... The small ones have a desire to be big, and the high/big ones fear of loosing it and falling down. Its how life is and the ego. So how could this not be depressing... reading this in a book? I was deeply depressed for about a year and life became pointless. How could one ever have a desire to be big or great after reading this? It takes the life out of you to know that you just want it to survive and that many other people in the world are like that and will try to be something big or great. When I watched athletes like the formula 1 driver Michael Shumacher after reading about this. I was so depressed by realizing whats going on in his head and the reason why he pushed himself so hard to be the best... just so that he could survive is the deepest reason. DEPRESSING. But since starting homeopathy I got over this somehow. It does not have the same effect on me anymore.
I am somehow a mix between:
Platina (my ego problems and the deepest problems I would say)
|
Staphysagria/Nat mur (my emotional problems and problems with humiliation, ridicule, I am also soft and mild often, care about my father etc)
|
Carcinosim or Palladium since they are close they say (for my issues with being controlled tightly, pleasing, approval seeking, unable to say no)
Yesterday I was without an ego and 100% sure Platina isnt my similimum just like I thought and after I read over what I wrote yesterday I noticed stapysgaria seems like a good fit and it fits my past. But than I have gotten a big ego in the afternoon again and my doubts about staphysgaria came in. If they dont have an ego it isnt me.
From the list of remedies above it seems like Platina is just what I need. Only question I have is whether Platina must not necessarily always be the high egoistical haughty person. Can they also be mild and friendly to their father for example? To strangers? I am in my own world often but when I interact with people face to face I am not anymore.
When I take platina there is an instant change deep inside of me. I feel very balanced. Hard to describe, it is as if all the outside noise goes away and all is good. But a few days on when my BDD isnt a problem anymore and I feel good without worry in my home it feels like things stopped. And I worry this will stay that way which makes me restless. I dont want to be happy to be just at home without having issues, I want to move further.
=============
Right now I cannot say past feeling less numb that lycopodium did anything. My BDD isnt a big problem currently, but I am definitely not happy with the size of my nose and the flattering side of my nose when I breath since damaging it a week or so ago.
I was interested in reading some books yesterday. And got me a so called great book on self confidence but there was just the usual stuff in it, that I cannot stand anymore. So I got me a rather spiritual book with knowledge and wisdom rather. It isnt a pure spiritual book as those books just depressed me so deeply in the past and I stay away from them now. I could never express clearly why they so depressed me but now I can... If an individual on this world becomes someone big and great it is tainted or tarnished. If an athlete becomes a superstar it is because he felt really small on the inside and felt the need to become something big and great to SURVIVE. Tarnished. It wasnt his individual effort, it isnt something he decided. It is a common thing to the human ego... The small ones have a desire to be big, and the high/big ones fear of loosing it and falling down. Its how life is and the ego. So how could this not be depressing... reading this in a book? I was deeply depressed for about a year and life became pointless. How could one ever have a desire to be big or great after reading this? It takes the life out of you to know that you just want it to survive and that many other people in the world are like that and will try to be something big or great. When I watched athletes like the formula 1 driver Michael Shumacher after reading about this. I was so depressed by realizing whats going on in his head and the reason why he pushed himself so hard to be the best... just so that he could survive is the deepest reason. DEPRESSING. But since starting homeopathy I got over this somehow. It does not have the same effect on me anymore.
vitamin.X last decade
I lost some money from gambling after winning the days before. Always a challenge to accept a loss, even though it wasn't my money. In the past after a loss I would keep on gambling until I got all the money I lost back haha, those were times when I took big sums of money from my mothers credit card without her knowing it and I kept on loosing until the last money she had made me win and get it all back. I don't stop. Same with my face. It is just a shadow of what it once was and now I got problems with it on my nose. It looks so damaged. How could I ever accept this loss. I felt like cutting it of earlier when I noticed how bad it looks when I smile. But there was stability, my BDD does not have the same intensity since taking platina again but it is far from a cured state.
Time just keeps passing by and I am not getting anywhere. So disappointed, let down, I had high hopes. My fault probably.
I do feel kind of light right now and earlier today I had anxiety around my parents. I couldn't even watch tv when they were sitting at a 90 degree angle away from me which would make them see my face. I felt embarrassed and afraid of they seeing me look anxious.
Time just keeps passing by and I am not getting anywhere. So disappointed, let down, I had high hopes. My fault probably.
I do feel kind of light right now and earlier today I had anxiety around my parents. I couldn't even watch tv when they were sitting at a 90 degree angle away from me which would make them see my face. I felt embarrassed and afraid of they seeing me look anxious.
vitamin.X last decade
WOW I woke up today and my nose looks changed for the better. The right side of the tip of my nose always looked worse than the left side. THe left side was the refined side. So today the thing in the middle that divides both nose holes (is it called nosetrill?) stands more out on the right side compared to how it was before. Which makes my nose hole look refined and symmetrical just like the left one and also on the right side now my nose tip looks more lifted, same as on the left side
How could this have happened. All i did was daily apply some oils and take remedies.. platina,aurum lycopodium were the last ones
I really like this
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 01:11:22 BST]
How could this have happened. All i did was daily apply some oils and take remedies.. platina,aurum lycopodium were the last ones
I really like this
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 01:11:22 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
BTW above I said I gambled and it wasnt my money. I gambled for someone else with them knowing it... I didnt take their money. Nowadays I would have a problem with my ego if I wanted to do that. Even though it is an emergency... I feared I might have not been clear above.
vitamin.X last decade
Last dreams I had the other day were about me having a big house in miami with my family and once walking alone lost in a big shopping mall
- swimming in the sea with people. Out of fear of sharks I am having pictures of a shark attack me but I shrug it off. Than a shark comes while I am in the water to my knees only and the shark gets out of the water. Than some guy comes and with an instrument, a red laser pointing at his head he makes the shark be able to live on the land and I dont understand what is going on, why the guy did this and I am cornered in my room, no where to run away all of a sudden.
- I was in a car with someone, 2 guys on the outside tried to get in and I stabbed them with a knife through the car door. One guy I cut his hand off. I was afraid when I will stab them that they might do something to me than.
- swimming in the sea with people. Out of fear of sharks I am having pictures of a shark attack me but I shrug it off. Than a shark comes while I am in the water to my knees only and the shark gets out of the water. Than some guy comes and with an instrument, a red laser pointing at his head he makes the shark be able to live on the land and I dont understand what is going on, why the guy did this and I am cornered in my room, no where to run away all of a sudden.
- I was in a car with someone, 2 guys on the outside tried to get in and I stabbed them with a knife through the car door. One guy I cut his hand off. I was afraid when I will stab them that they might do something to me than.
vitamin.X last decade
DAVID Please help:
My brother was over here with some friends and one of them was a girl. I hated it. I think I need remedy from ANIMAL KINGDOM. I could totaly critizise him and put him down from the anger I feel next time when we are alone but I dont want to, that would be so low and wrong, make me feel small about myself. I would have done that in the past maybe
I turned around once from being on my laptop in the living room and saw a girl. And I thought how could he do this to me. Greatly offended by it that he dares to bring a girl home lol, a bit unreasonable. But I know he would never do this out of fear but now he did and it feels like he doesnt care anymore as if I am going down the ladder,
And I felt anxiety, if they would say something to me I could not talk back from the anxiety and fear of failing? looking like an idiot than who will get bad opinions
What do I do?
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 02:04:05 BST]
My brother was over here with some friends and one of them was a girl. I hated it. I think I need remedy from ANIMAL KINGDOM. I could totaly critizise him and put him down from the anger I feel next time when we are alone but I dont want to, that would be so low and wrong, make me feel small about myself. I would have done that in the past maybe
I turned around once from being on my laptop in the living room and saw a girl. And I thought how could he do this to me. Greatly offended by it that he dares to bring a girl home lol, a bit unreasonable. But I know he would never do this out of fear but now he did and it feels like he doesnt care anymore as if I am going down the ladder,
And I felt anxiety, if they would say something to me I could not talk back from the anxiety and fear of failing? looking like an idiot than who will get bad opinions
What do I do?
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 02:04:05 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I think you were right if above situation is clear indication of animal kingdom? So lycopodium would not react in the same way? How would they react to such situation?
vitamin.X last decade
I noticed my reaction was down again. And I could still speak in a normal tone with my brother although in our language.
When I looked at the girl I didnt react and feel this freezing,anxiety strong. But I felt restricted. THere was no way I could keep my head there or move. I just had to turn back around and than hope noone will speak to me. If I had to say something I would have such fear of someone laughing or commenting something negative on me. And I just would not be able to do it. If I looked at the people and had to speak I would make an 'involuntary movement' which would be so awkward looking with my neck or something from the tension and freezing. It is just impossible to socialize when I am anxious.
When I looked at the girl I didnt react and feel this freezing,anxiety strong. But I felt restricted. THere was no way I could keep my head there or move. I just had to turn back around and than hope noone will speak to me. If I had to say something I would have such fear of someone laughing or commenting something negative on me. And I just would not be able to do it. If I looked at the people and had to speak I would make an 'involuntary movement' which would be so awkward looking with my neck or something from the tension and freezing. It is just impossible to socialize when I am anxious.
vitamin.X last decade
Oh and right now I feel like I am above it. Do not feel bothered by it at all. Not let myself be touched by what happened.... my protection again.
What remedy is similar to platina and could help me? Is it anacardium? But except the freezing/not able to move and lack of confidence I dont know what else I have in common with it.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 03:49:19 BST]
What remedy is similar to platina and could help me? Is it anacardium? But except the freezing/not able to move and lack of confidence I dont know what else I have in common with it.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 03:49:19 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I dont know how you people feel anxiety. But with me it is a strong reaction and I am unable to do anything. Because I dont want to. TO not humiliate myself, to not make myself look bad, get laughed at, and loose whatever good things I had going for me in the eyes of other people before being approached by them. And if I have to speak I will not look good, or as this great guy as I might be seen by people as long as I am not spoken too. But when I interact with strangers it isnt on my mind. I just dont want to humiliate myself, or be unfriendly etc, am a total pleaser and nice guy than. Whatever someone would ask me or want of me I would do it. I would feel so bad and uncomfortable if I would not. I would care a lot of what they think of me.
strange polarities going on. I have no ego when I am being approached. I do countless of things that make me look bad. I cannot say no, be unfriendly in real life on purpose except by a misunderstanding - most of the time that is, there are some very rare exceptions to this.
I dont want to get rejected or do something bad. So I am the nice guy, and egoisem is bad
I am like a muppet on a string often around my father or strangers out of fear of them being displeased with me and saying it
On the other hand I can be like I am on here, what you David call 'wanting to be the dominating one in this relationship'... I dont see it that way at all. Rather when my father used to say something has to be that way I would have to be really loud and fight in order to not get forced or pushed to do something I didnt like or considered wrong. If anything it is rather a defense against getting dominated... Pushed around and told to do something I didnt like or considered wrong. A simple 'no' never worked with my father.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 04:17:10 BST]
strange polarities going on. I have no ego when I am being approached. I do countless of things that make me look bad. I cannot say no, be unfriendly in real life on purpose except by a misunderstanding - most of the time that is, there are some very rare exceptions to this.
I dont want to get rejected or do something bad. So I am the nice guy, and egoisem is bad
I am like a muppet on a string often around my father or strangers out of fear of them being displeased with me and saying it
On the other hand I can be like I am on here, what you David call 'wanting to be the dominating one in this relationship'... I dont see it that way at all. Rather when my father used to say something has to be that way I would have to be really loud and fight in order to not get forced or pushed to do something I didnt like or considered wrong. If anything it is rather a defense against getting dominated... Pushed around and told to do something I didnt like or considered wrong. A simple 'no' never worked with my father.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 04:17:10 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I feel like I over-reacted earlier today about my brother.
I like the new symmetry on my face A LOT.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 05:20:31 BST]
I like the new symmetry on my face A LOT.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 05:20:31 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I was told that some new friends will come for sleep over and I dont like this at all. Then later while my mother was around my brother out of protection said some things to me like how I am very thin for my age as in 'weak looking' and he said that at my age he will never be like that and called me names. Again as always the feelings of humiliation, reaction come and I cannot even defend myself, a blank mind. I felt hurt by it and feel like not talking to him anymore. When someone has a go at me I cannot defend myself and it sinks in deeply. I hate everything than. I cannot defend myself because whatever I am about to say sounds really bad and I vision that I will get humiliated more. SO I just stay quiet and feel bad. I feel like everyone will just walk over me from now on. My brother, my brothers friends.
I am in a bad mood and feel affected by his comment greatly.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 06:37:24 BST]
I am in a bad mood and feel affected by his comment greatly.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 10 Oct 2011 06:37:24 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I dont like how I will be restricted if his new friends come. I can stay in my room, avoid the living room, and go out that is all.
vitamin.X last decade
I am alone, noone likes me, no one cares about me, no support. People keep rejecting me, whenever I start a conversation online they leave shortly. It is so difficult and makes me feel so wrong. I am not going to post anymore if I get no replies. But the anger keeps building up for being left on my own
vitamin.X last decade
I am feeling needy and hooked onto that dating site all day.
I am not feeling good. Just like in the past as if sick in my stomach and anxious. Must be because I started meditation again a few days ago and homeopathy is just a side thing now. I am dissapointed I had high hopes of it making me socialize without a care in the future but its not going to happen. I feel pretty hopeless about it
I feel like something is coming up from my stomach which gets to my throat and than I feel like vomiting but nothing happens than. It is this sensation just when it gets up to my throat. I feel physichally sick and am afraid of being around my parents or anyone like this. As I could get asked what is wrong with me etc
It was painful passing stool today, from the width of the stool. I dont pass stool regularly, maybe every 3 days or so and today it was painful that it made me sweat and I kept pushing to get it out, but it went with ease though. The big size was just the problem
I am going to gamble again lots of money next week. Asked my mother to lend me some money.
I got it all under control. I believe all my problems would go away if I had some friends or people to have contact with.
I feel sick today just like in the past. I dont think it is lycopodium but the meditation from bringing everything up to the surface again.
I am not feeling good. Just like in the past as if sick in my stomach and anxious. Must be because I started meditation again a few days ago and homeopathy is just a side thing now. I am dissapointed I had high hopes of it making me socialize without a care in the future but its not going to happen. I feel pretty hopeless about it
I feel like something is coming up from my stomach which gets to my throat and than I feel like vomiting but nothing happens than. It is this sensation just when it gets up to my throat. I feel physichally sick and am afraid of being around my parents or anyone like this. As I could get asked what is wrong with me etc
It was painful passing stool today, from the width of the stool. I dont pass stool regularly, maybe every 3 days or so and today it was painful that it made me sweat and I kept pushing to get it out, but it went with ease though. The big size was just the problem
I am going to gamble again lots of money next week. Asked my mother to lend me some money.
I got it all under control. I believe all my problems would go away if I had some friends or people to have contact with.
I feel sick today just like in the past. I dont think it is lycopodium but the meditation from bringing everything up to the surface again.
vitamin.X last decade
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