Forum homeopaths, please help baby _{Page 2 of 3}

Please help me get my son sleeping through the night! He wakes every three hours to feed, and screams if I try to offer anything else instead. At 14 months, it would be nice to have him sleep longer.

Yes, we do that.

I would like to find a constitutional remedy for him, so perhaps that would help him sleep.

Hi, no I have not asked Rishimba specifically for this case. He is helping me and my 4 year old. I also need help with my 14 month old. I clearly have too many kids :) Hoping to make progress at least one at a time, but the younger two are exhausting everyone else. I would really appreciate help on this.

Sounds great!

◦When did the problem start?
Around 8 months of age. He slept through the night from 2 months and started waking once or so between 6 and 8 months of age, and after that it was more and more often. Now he wakes at least every three hours, sometimes every hour to hour and a half. Between 8 and 7.5 months he traveled overseas with me. There is a 7-8 hour time difference, but he adjusted wonderfully. For the first three days he slept most of the time, and then settled on once a night waking. There were no behavioural issues or any other indications that the trip was bothersome to him.

◦Describe the exact symptoms.
Wakes frequently during the night. Goes to bed around 8pm, sometimes 9, then wakes between 12 and 1, then 3 or 3:30, then 5 or 5:30 and is up no later than 6:30am. Most of the time, he will also wake up when I go to bed myself (the crib is in the same room), but even if I have not come, will always wake between 12 and 1. Often he will also wake at 4:30.

◦What the baby/child does when the symptoms occur (position of the body, applying pressure, needing food/drink, crying etc)?
Wakes very quickly. He never rolls around, for example, in a sleepy state and goes back to sleep. Once he makes noise, he is awake. When he sleeps during the day, for example, he stays in one position until we wakes up. I am not 100% certain for the night, since it is dark, but I am sure that he also stays in one position during night sleep. Once he is awake, he immediately stands up, rubs his eyes and cries. At that point (or really any point in his waking) it is impossible to shush or calm him to sleep. I need to take him out of the crib, feed him to the point specified by him (he pulls away when calm, otherwise he screams if I try to separate before he is ready) and put him back. Occasionally, he also needs to be rocked as well. Sometimes he will be frustrated while feeding, roll away from me and cry as if rejected. I have to bring him back and almost console for him to calm down.

◦If crying, what sort of cry is it?
At first it is a sad, lonely cry, easily consoled, but if he is denied what he wants, the cry is disappointed, that of rejection, desolation, can turn to screams with which he expresses his protests. At that point he will not settle until I come and feed him. He will cry and moan continuously until I come, even if his father is trying to console him (say, I am delayed).

◦How often it occurs? Every day

◦If there are time modalities (when does it happen, worsen, improve etc)? It does worsen if he is sick, so he wakes more often. Much worse if I am not home at bedtime, then he can wake every 30 minutes. Typically, easily consoled, but the longer he cries alone (say, we did not hear right away), the longer it takes to calm down.

◦Any change in bowels or urination when the problem is present? Frequency, colour and texture of stool
No changes that I have noticed. He has bm multiple times a day, 5-6, and it is usually very large amounts. Different colours and textures depending on what he ate. Sometimes bits of food, for example, pomegranate seeds will come out half digested, kidney beans will be identified by their skins or even parts. Corn kernels or peas can be seen. Occasionally, it is a hard lump, and very rarely it is very soft. Typically there are large amounts of soft dry-ish paste, that easily separates from the diaper (diapers are cloth).

◦Any change in behaviour generally?
Lately he is becoming more aggressive in not wanting to give up something he is holding onto, or interference of any kind really. Extricating a sharp fork from his fingers is very difficult, for example. He likes holding onto objects, especially stick like, and screams at the top of his lungs when they are pried away. Reacts similarly when his movement is impeded – he is picked up and dragged somewhere by one of his sisters, or hugged too tightly by them.

◦What time the child goes to bed
between 7 and 9, depending on whether he had one or two naps during the day

◦Whether they fall asleep quickly, without company or need someone there until they drop off
He needs to be fed and rocked, usually for a while. Even if he is tired, he will want to go out of the room and not go to sleep.

◦Whether they wake in the night multiple times

◦What happens if they wake – are they crying, or just awake, or do they seem afraid. This is really important to judge whether the child has perhaps been frightened by a dream, or if he/she is hungry or just wants to play.
Cries, immediately, gets up, asks to be picked up. Can rattle the crib if particularly awake. Always rubs his eyes. Does not seem afraid, but will not stay alone. Definitely requires attention. Hungry – yes, seems hungry, but it seems more of a ritual, because he behaves the same way whether he slept for 3 hours, 1 hour or 15 minutes – needs to be taken out, fed and replaced. Very occasionally he wants to play in the middle of the night, but it is not the main problem. I do not believe that he wakes because of dreams, because he has woken up with bad dreams a few times, and a few times not woken up as well. It is different, because he then cries very loudly and sharply, and either continues sleeping or is easily settled back to sleep. Such waking is rare, and I am not considering it a problem right now.

◦What time they wake in the morning and what mood they are in on waking
Never later than 6:30, usually 6, sometimes 5:30. Wakes in a very poor mood, unhappy, crying, irritable. Needs to be picked up and fed right away. Even when I am feeding him, he can be irritable, can pull away as if rejected and cry pitifully. Once fed, if it is 5:30, he may roll over and close his eyes as if to sleep, and may even sleep for another half an hour, but if it is 6 or later, he will want to get out of bed. Once he is out, he generally get a big smile and is in a happy mood, but he wakes always with an unsatisfied unhappy cry, especially in the night, which I find highly irritating, since I am already trying to attend to his needs.

◦Bowel and bladder activity in the night
bladder definitely, bowel almost never

◦Need for feeds during the night
yes, 3-4

◦Sleeping position
on the stomach, knees under tummy. In the stroller happily sleeps on his back.

◦Daytime sleeps – where they prefer to sleep and for how long
He sleeps well in the car and in the stroller, meaning that he falls asleep easily and without crying. At home he requires rocking, and will often protest going to sleep, even when tired. We have approximately three patterns –
he can fall asleep around 10 or 10 :30 and can sleep for 2-3-4 hours. Then he will likely not have another nap for the rest of the day and need to go to bed early, 6 :30 or soon after.
If he has more energy and needs to sleep closer to 11 :30 or 12, then he will also likely sleep for 2-3-4 hours. Then he will not need another nap and go to be around 7-7 :30.
And he can also fall asleep very early, especially if sick or after a very poor nap, 8 :30 or 9 or 9 :30 and sleep for 2-3 hours and then need another nap around 4pm. In that case, he will go to be later, closer to 9pm.
And it can all fall apart with a short nap in the morning, or a late morning and a short mid-day nap (which needed to be longer) then lots of whining for the rest of the day, maybe another nap, more whining and a poor evening.


- Talk about their appetite – when are they hungry? What foods do they prefer if on solids?
He is hungry almost all the time. Will always eat before bed in the evening. He eats often and a lot. He will eat his own food, then my food, then my husband's food, then drink a lot, then come back to eat more of my food. He knows how to ask for food, it is one of the words he can say. He can open the fridge and take food out, or ask to drink. He also drinks a lot. We have taught him hand signs and of all the signs we taught, he uses «drink» more than anything else.

He really likes berries, grapes. Other than spicy foods, I have noticed any aversions. He eats at least some of everything he is offered. And spicy is not comfortable to such a young tongue in any case. Even if he did not like a food (say too cold or sour), he most often will open his mouth for another bite. When he was on pureed foods, he really disliked cauliflower and broccoli and would reject any food containing it however small the amount. But he has happily eaten broccoli just recently, for example, so this must have passed.
He is very solid, and not at all overwheight. He is constantly in motion, so the large quantities of food go to energy and also come out at the other end. ☺


It is useful to get an idea of the baby’s health from conception, through pregnancy, birth and early months to the present day. Describe everything you can remember. The move on to the following specific questions. The questions are posed from the point of view of the mother writing the post as this common, but of course it may be the father (so no offence intended).
No issues for the baby during pregnancy, no identified abnormalities. The birth was 6 weeks early, possibly because I had severe anemia (my previous pregnancy also ended the same way). Some initial difficulties after birth. Considerable reflux for the first three months. Then a period of colds at around 8 or 9 months that lasted for at least 2 months or more. One cold turning to another, even had roseola (high fever for 3 days and then a rash), and possibly even fifth disease, followed by more colds, until we tried homeopathy. Presently, he has a cold with green nasal discharge that forms very hard crusts that seen to stick to the skin, but it has been a while without colds before this. Periodic, very obvious teething issues. Right now he may have some moving molars. Around 10 months he developed a bad rash on his bum, with very red cheeks (on the face). The rash is red, raised, flaky and very itchy. It became gradually better when we eliminated citrus, which has been difficult, as it is a favourite, but the rash has not gone away. And even now, the skin is mostly cleared up, only somewhat dry. It has a shiny, tight appearance. The colour is of normal pinkish skin right now, but it is still itchy, as he scratches it every chance he gets. It is completely unaffected by diapers. I have verified that first. I would really like to resolve this completely.
Otherwise, he has been well.

Father’s reaction to pregnancy? Resigned, really. This is the fourth child, and the father still says that he only wanted one. He loves them all, and is very capable of taking care of them. It is a bit complicated because our second child was born severely disabled due to an accident during birth, and so we ended up having four kids, whereas we would have stopped at three otherwise. He was certainly very helpful when I was not much use because of health issues.

What was the pregnancy like for you (the mother)?
Aweful, overall. I hate being pregnant, it's like being possessed by an alien. I really like babies, so it is an end to a means. Relatively, this was fairly easy in the first half and very difficult in the second half. Very slight nausea, which tormented me tremendously. I detest being nausous. Fatigue, of course. Heartburn that started at 3 months and still is not fully resolved. Low grade depression in the first trimester or possibly first half, I typically react poorly to changing hormones. Anemia, severe. I needed iron infusions, as I do not respond to supplements in pregnancy. Each pregnancy was worse than the previous one. My iron just keeps dropping. I can tell the iron keeps dropping because I start feeling shortness of breath and am not able to stand because of that. The lower the iron, the more difficult it is to breathe, especially when standing. This pregnancy, that started around 18 weeks. Also, my joints loosened so much, also around 18 weeks, that my old SI joint issue became a tremendous problem, I literally could not walk more than a few steps. I even had to work from home because of that. That happend around 20 weeks. At the end of the previous pregnancy I was informed that I developed antibodies in my blood that could pose a risk to any subsequent children while in utero. Similar reaction to having different Rh factors, where the mother's antibodies attack the fetus, but a different antibody. If the antibodies grow during pregnancy, the infant can develop anemia, and all kinds of other complications, including disability. There is no way to predict, and the outcome varies based on which week of gestation the antibodies start growing, so there was absolutely no way to know whether the pregnancy would even be viable. So, it was a lot of uncertainty, lots of tests, and a lot of detachment. We discussed multiple times that we would terminate if the antibodies surfaced at such and such week, because we would not be able to care for another disabled child. I cannot say whether I would actually be able to go through with termination, if the situaion was that terrible, but I know that logically it would have been the only possible answer. It is unfortunate that previous experience necessitated such discussions at all. My outlook on the preciousness of life has really fractured since the birth of my disabled daughter and everything we still live with.
It was very difficult physically, since I was basically not able to stand because of anemia and walk because of joint issues for a very long time. And very abstract emotionally. Every pregnancy has been abstract for me, despite all the sensations, it has been difficult for me to think of the baby, rather than my own discomfort. This pregnancy was not more abstract, but more stressful than any other one. In particular, I was very unhappy about the gender of the baby this time. I have always wanted a girl, and despite already having three girls, I did not want a boy and was genuinely upset since 20th week, when it was known that the baby was male. Why did I not want a boy ? Because they are loud and obnoxious, pee past the toilet, break everything… What other stereotype can I come up with ? I was particularly obsessed about the idea of having to purchase an entire new wardrobe for only one child, how wasteful, since I had saved all clothes from my oldest to pass on to her sisters and really liked seeing this and that item on the next child. I also sew, and had made a number of pretty dresses, and I was regretting that they would now go to «waste». Yes, I can make boy clothes as well, but it is a lot of effort for not very much gain in appearance. I was truly unhappy for a long time. I felt very uneasy carrying a male inside me, and had difficulties imagining breastfeeding a boy. These feelings I found disturbing. I do not really know where they come from. When I was younger, I preferred the company of men, and I am definitely not a girly girl. And even more difficult was that I was met with complete misunderstanding when trying to discuss this with others.
I was approximately 7 months pregnant when we were told that the antibodies will not be posing any risk to the baby, and that the pregnancy would proceed, because there was not much time left, even if the antibodies grew then. It was a great relief and I felt able to tell people at that time that I was expecting. I had witheld the news until then, except from the closest of people. Shortly after that, I became very ill, which what was probably flu. Or maybe a release of stress. I am rarely sick, so it was a change in itself, but I was very ill with high fever, severe shooting muscle pains, lack of energy. I spent 10 days lying in bed, not eating and not getting up. The day after I got up for a few hours, my water broke, and so the baby was born. It had to be a ceasarean because of the previous accident. He was about two months old when I realised that I stopped thinking about his gender and that I did not want a boy. He was just a baby, regardless of the gender, and I adore babies. But for the first two months I made his father change the diapers so I would not be reminded. I now remember that I thought all these things, but I do not have any of these feelings. I cannot imagine not having this baby in my life, even though I am aware that his mind works differently. He is definitely a boy.

What problems occurred during the birth?
My dura was punctured at the time of epidural, and cs fluid leaked out, so I ended up with a severe spinal headache. I was able to lie still, but as soon as I lifted my head, I had severe headache. It was really indescribable. A million times worse than a migraine. I was incapacitated in this way for 10 days.

What was your state during the birth (the mother)?
I was impatient and really wanted to see the surgery. They hide everything, so the whole process becomes very abstract, and it is very unfortunate. The anaesthetic wore out partway through the surgery, so it was rather uncomfortable until they gave me more. In general, it is a poor way to have a baby – cut up and on the table. And the pain afterwards is considerable.

Were you separated from the
baby after birth (mother)?
Definitely. He had fluid in his lungs, had difficulty keeping himself warm and some other minor issue. I was unable to even lift my head, so overall, it was not great. He was fine after 24 hours, but I was not well.

What were the first few days after the birth like, both for you (parents) and the baby?
Frustrating, painful. Many issues with ignorance of the hospital staff that increased the stress tremendously. My husband kept driving between home, work and hospital with two other kids. The baby was kept in a nursery that did not want to keep him, because after the first 24 hours the baby was fine, but I could not care for him myself, and that is a scenario the hospital did not plan for. They kept pressuring us to discharge the baby to my husband, while I stayed in the hospital alone. We kept refusing, as it was absurd. The whole thing was insane. We went home after 8 days, even though I was not yet well. It was better than continuing in that unhealthy environment, however. Once home, my headaches gradually lessened, and overall I felt absolutely renewed and fantastic. I feel like I could be flying, I as in such a good mood, calm and relaxed. A nice baby and no longer pregnant!

Were you able to breastfeed?
yes
What problems occurred there?
At first, just physical difficulties – there is not very much one can do without lifting one's head or turning, both of which were impossible for me for quite a few days because of pain. I was able to express, though, lots of milk, and except for a few port ions of formula, which I am sure the nursery administered, there was breast milk, but not all feeds were at the breast for the first week. Later, he would often feel frustrated that milk was not coming fast enough (it really was 3-4 seconds) in his opinion and pull away. Oh, and much later on we discovered that he had a tongue tie, which was removed, but this did not have any obvious effect. There was good weight gain in the first months.

What is the relationship between the father and the baby like?
Really good. The baby strongly prefers me, but he obviously really likes his father, as well. When I am around, he really needs to be near, preferably held by me, especially if he is unwell. If all is well, he can play by himself, and come and be held by me every now and then. Often he will scream in protest when his father takes him because I need to get ready or leave, and then he is really not happy. Typically, he does not ask for as much attention or affection from his father as he demands from me, but they are able to spend time together amicably. The whining starts as soon as I arrive after an absence.

Has the baby reached all its normal developmental milestones for its age?
yes

Has the baby been vaccinated?
yes

Was there any reaction to a vaccination?
Irritability and crying for 2-3 days the first time. Possibly irritability and crying for 1 day the next time. Nothing obvious the other times.

Is there anything the baby seems particularly afraid of?
Shower, being under the shower. Not afraid of the sound or sight, but the sensation of shower on face or body. Otherwise he loves the water, to play with or be in, or to drink.

Any other interesting characteristics you can think of? Personality, quirks, problems?
He really likes to hold things, particularly stick like – pencils, forks, preferably multiple items in each hand. Likes to have food in both hands when eating. Likes to rip off stickers (especially cling window stickers), and is very proficient at it. Babbles all the time. Really, he is constantly talking. There are 10 or so actual words, and the rest is made up, but really conversational. He answers questions with a «yes», correctly, even questions he should not be understanding. It is very funny. When I hold him while talking to someone else, he will stick his face into my face and babble pointedly, so that I pay attention to him as well. Extremely observant and highly adept at imitation. Every mother thinks her child is brilliant, but this baby outperforms even my oldest daughter, who is gifted. He imitates gestures, facial expressions, grimaces. He can kiss, chatter his teeth on purpose, stick out his tongue on command. Sweeps the floor with brush and dustpan (recorded on video, since nobody believes that a one year old is doing that). He opens doors, brushes his teeth (no, not aptly), paints with a brush, drinks out of a cup and sips on a straw (my oldest daughter took forever to master this). He peels hardboiled eggs quite well. Often indicates that he has a full diaper. Likes picking at plasticine (same motion as ripping off stickers). Knows how to administer homeopathic remedies (drops into a cup, a bit of water, then drawn up with a cyringe) ☺ and tries to imitate that. Likes to stir food on the stove.
He is fairly independent, not liking interference. He does not want to walk holding hands, and does not like being guided, but will easily take a hand to cross a threshold, for example, or go up a hill. He is very affectionate and likes to be held and hugged, so not antisocial at all. In fact the is very interested in other people, wary of strangers but interested. He has a very happy smile most of the time. In fact, many people have commented on his smile, and often people watch him (on a bus, for example), he is so happy.
Absolutely adores the outdoors, and often demands to be outside. Often dislikes putting a hat on, and always objects to wearing a diaper. He is constantly in motion. He has some rituals, for example, in the morning he needs to eat, then announces that he is getting off the bed, climbs down, asks for his blanket, asks to drink, loses inteest in the drink before I give it, asks for everything else on my bedside table, then asks to get out of the room. (He gets upset if I hurry the process, but it is definitely possible to distract him and he settles easily, so this is not cut in stone. )Checks that his sisters are still asleep, wants to touch the thermostat, asks to go to the couch with his father, and as soon as he is there, screams to be held by me. He loses his blanket along the way, and does not care. Once I am gone back to bed (5 am is way too early), he happily stays with his father.

We tried calc carb and calc phos for persistent colds. This resulted in extremely aggressive behaviour with hitting and fear of the bedroom. Tuberculinum really helped with that.
Chamomilla often helps with obvious teething.
For the rash – sulphur took the redness away, but not resolved the rash. Phos helped the rash flatten, if I remember correctly, but that is all. And thuja was also suggested for the rash, if the other ones do not resolve. Thuja was not effective on the rash, but brought on a period of unbearably whiny behavour.
At this point we eliminated citrus, and that gradually helped, but did not resolve the rash, nor the whining.
After that I got advice to try more chamomilla, which was not effective for the whining nor for the rash nor for sleeping. I do think that it helped the teething discomfort.
Graphites for the rash helped a little bit, but it was still itchy.
Then I gave him pulsatilla a few times, because he demanded to be outside, even in cold weather, and instead of chamomilla, I tried pulsatilla. It actually really helped eliminate the annoying whining behaviour. But the rash is still there, as I described earlier – mostly clear skin, tight and shiny and dry where it used to be red and raised and flaky, but still quite itchy. And sleeping continues to be a problem. Please let me know if there are other questions
[message edited by Dora14 on Thu, 23 Apr 2015 07:35:58 BST]

Hi, yes, I agree that the pregnancy and early periods must play a great role. I really want to find a good solution, so I wanted to describe everything fully. My 4 year old is still not sleeping through the night and I had an even more difficult time bonding with her, because of an accident during the previous birth. I did want all my children, but each pregnancy was a difficult time for me, physically and mentally. I wanted babies, not gestation. Except for the very last 4-6 weeks I never had that hormonal happiness women are supposed to get in pregnancy. Afterwards - definitely. Perhaps my 4 year old could benefit from saccarum as well, if it helps in situations like that.

Administered today. Thank you. How long do we observe it for?

Hi, please advise. The baby slept uch betterfor two nights - between 1 and 5 or 6 am, and also woke up later than before - to 7:30 the first day and 6:45 the second. After that, it has been similar to before with many wakings at night and crankiness. He is still scratching his bum, but i think the skin is better. Thank you

Could you please advise regarding further actions? He is whiny and very irritated most of the time, screaming very often, the sleeping is terrible. Thank you

Evocationer, are you back on the forum?

Hi, i dont think i can tolerate his behaviour much longer. He is screaming most of the time, instead of talking or gesturing to get something he wants. Very possessive of me, screams and pushes his sister away. Has been waking much earlier than for a while, 5, and even 4 am. Overall i am not sure whether there is much improvement in sleeping. Several nights, like 2 maybe 3 he slept for longer periods, so instead of waking 5 times, it was only 3, but other nights it was pretty bad. He is still scratching his bum, but overall it is better. He often makes a pouty face, and often he frowns, making "evil" eyes. It is funny, but he is irritated most of the time. And screaming really needs to stop. He is also extremely demanding, keeps yelling mama, mama, mama when he cant see me. Ilike meeting hisneeds, and his dissatisfaction is very difficult to take. He has several teethcoming, but chamomilla does notseem to be helping. Please let me know what can be tried.

Evocationer, are you available to suggest what to do next? I would really appreciate it.

Thank you, I would indeed appreciate it!