The ABC Homeopathy Forum
Feeling Fragile & Sensitive, Please Help :) Page 4 of 6
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Danger-
Would include my brother attacking. Me fearing for my life. And the anger I felt that my family focused on heloing my brother then helping me. To the point where since I had vBulletin no where to go (brother moved back in with parents) I was forced to go live with my ex again because the only other option was the shelter. I was so angry that my family abandoned me.
I definitely grew up with isues with my mom. She did not even plan on having me and was angry when she found out. She tried to get me into modeling, cheerleading and pageants. She likes to try to control things to her side. Play victim, but she has always been the meanest in my family. She use to be worse with all of us. She still sometmes makes fun of my dad or tries to guilt trip us and be a drama queen.
My dad is the nicest. Though he can act like a little kid and does not take care of himself. Which is stressful for me. Because he is old and does not take care of his health. i feel bad for my brother that he works so much but when I see him he is mostly self centered. though he is nicer because of the anger management classes.
My brother grewing up was also extremely jealous of me. I got a lot of attention. But then again my brother was had a very violent temper and my dad also would have melt downs and temper tantrums. I just remmber them fighting a lot and me hiding in the bathroom calling my mom crying.
Supposedly my dad threw books at my brother and would hold to the floor to get him to calm down but did not know mt brother would get asthma attacks. I do not know if that is true about my dad. But my mom has thrown stuff at my dad and my brothers girlfriend at him.
When I was growing up I don't know how I turned out the way I did. And thought I must have been switched at birth or adopted. When I dated guys or had friends I got close tobtheir families. I always wished I had second parents or ones thaf would take me on. A few guys I dated had sweet parents. Mg current partners parents live far away and are not exactly warm and fuzzy people. Though his dad has given good advice.
I wish so much for a sense of family. Although I know I am not ready to have my own family. I think thars why community or a group of friends or the yoga centers were so important to me because that is where I felt like O had a sense of belonging because faily is so importanT.
So when people detroy that I feel so crushed and isolated and out cast. I grew up with even kids all through school with several instances of kids pushing me out of groups, doing assignments with no lab partner.
being called Fake when I was off ritalin and could actually not feel like a zombie whe. I was on ritalin. The last one picked for gym. Kids getting other kids to want to beat me up or attack me with a knife all because the girl was unhapoy I was dating the boy she liked.
It is like what did I do to deserve this?
I think that is why I feel safe at my job and am afraid to find another job becauss I do not want people to target me again. I work hard on being assertive but I still have a lot of anxiety About asserting my boundaries.
My ex would yel. at me and putting me down everyday, a few times broke my stuff, broke down a door to get into my room, throw a bed upside down in one swoop. Stormed in my friends place to find me and force. me to go home. Destoryed my friendships. My guys friends were afraid he was going to get them, beat them up or burn their place down.
During those times I was with him. I initially forgave him along with trying conseling. But it was no use. He had a b said d temper and was crazy and irratic. I felt so trapped and powerless in that relationship with no where to go to.
And would I would finally start gaining confidence he would squash me like a bug. My confidence would be crushed and he would destroy any sense of me, self esteem or support I had. He even trashed my car so I had no car. And would spend my money I was secretly saving up so I could get away from him and get my own place.
He was super jealous and controlling. And there were times he made me have intimacy or do degrading acts where I felt filthy because otherwise he would kick me out with no where to go. And he said he was doing it only because he was making sure I loved him and was not cheating on him with younger guYs. Also note he was 15 years older then me.
Would include my brother attacking. Me fearing for my life. And the anger I felt that my family focused on heloing my brother then helping me. To the point where since I had vBulletin no where to go (brother moved back in with parents) I was forced to go live with my ex again because the only other option was the shelter. I was so angry that my family abandoned me.
I definitely grew up with isues with my mom. She did not even plan on having me and was angry when she found out. She tried to get me into modeling, cheerleading and pageants. She likes to try to control things to her side. Play victim, but she has always been the meanest in my family. She use to be worse with all of us. She still sometmes makes fun of my dad or tries to guilt trip us and be a drama queen.
My dad is the nicest. Though he can act like a little kid and does not take care of himself. Which is stressful for me. Because he is old and does not take care of his health. i feel bad for my brother that he works so much but when I see him he is mostly self centered. though he is nicer because of the anger management classes.
My brother grewing up was also extremely jealous of me. I got a lot of attention. But then again my brother was had a very violent temper and my dad also would have melt downs and temper tantrums. I just remmber them fighting a lot and me hiding in the bathroom calling my mom crying.
Supposedly my dad threw books at my brother and would hold to the floor to get him to calm down but did not know mt brother would get asthma attacks. I do not know if that is true about my dad. But my mom has thrown stuff at my dad and my brothers girlfriend at him.
When I was growing up I don't know how I turned out the way I did. And thought I must have been switched at birth or adopted. When I dated guys or had friends I got close tobtheir families. I always wished I had second parents or ones thaf would take me on. A few guys I dated had sweet parents. Mg current partners parents live far away and are not exactly warm and fuzzy people. Though his dad has given good advice.
I wish so much for a sense of family. Although I know I am not ready to have my own family. I think thars why community or a group of friends or the yoga centers were so important to me because that is where I felt like O had a sense of belonging because faily is so importanT.
So when people detroy that I feel so crushed and isolated and out cast. I grew up with even kids all through school with several instances of kids pushing me out of groups, doing assignments with no lab partner.
being called Fake when I was off ritalin and could actually not feel like a zombie whe. I was on ritalin. The last one picked for gym. Kids getting other kids to want to beat me up or attack me with a knife all because the girl was unhapoy I was dating the boy she liked.
It is like what did I do to deserve this?
I think that is why I feel safe at my job and am afraid to find another job becauss I do not want people to target me again. I work hard on being assertive but I still have a lot of anxiety About asserting my boundaries.
My ex would yel. at me and putting me down everyday, a few times broke my stuff, broke down a door to get into my room, throw a bed upside down in one swoop. Stormed in my friends place to find me and force. me to go home. Destoryed my friendships. My guys friends were afraid he was going to get them, beat them up or burn their place down.
During those times I was with him. I initially forgave him along with trying conseling. But it was no use. He had a b said d temper and was crazy and irratic. I felt so trapped and powerless in that relationship with no where to go to.
And would I would finally start gaining confidence he would squash me like a bug. My confidence would be crushed and he would destroy any sense of me, self esteem or support I had. He even trashed my car so I had no car. And would spend my money I was secretly saving up so I could get away from him and get my own place.
He was super jealous and controlling. And there were times he made me have intimacy or do degrading acts where I felt filthy because otherwise he would kick me out with no where to go. And he said he was doing it only because he was making sure I loved him and was not cheating on him with younger guYs. Also note he was 15 years older then me.
beth88 9 years ago
Trapped/imprisoned/caged
I think I feel trapt with my family dynamic.
With my parents wanting me to help them tuesday and Wednesday to clean. I grew up in a messy house. I spent so much time fixing that house and cleaning it for years. I am 27. Its not my job to clean up. But I am stuck because someotmes i need help with my bills so I feel obligated to help them.
And I think I'm allergic to something at their place because I feel sick to my stomach a lot of timss I go over there. And drained emotionally. My dad also gets whiny and wants me to not work tuesday or wednesday. and many times tries fo hang ohf longer then I want especially if I need to do something.
And sometimss I dont want to see them on my day off. But it is expected. Also they use to talk everyday. I dont know how to tell them no. I even have avoided their calls. My dad gets whiny and pleads with me to hang out and I cave in. He does not understand many days I feel depressed and I dont want to get dragged around or clean their mess.
As for my fiance. I feel like in the past I was not able to be my self. I like to feel freedom and feel wild and free fo be myself. Not wild in a crazy way. but in a liberated natural way. Sort of like animals in the wild. No one controls them, they are free to do as they please. I am very social and outgoing. I like to be busy and be active. I loved dancng but my partner does nof dance and was insecure about me dancing so I stopped dancing.
He also got bummed out that I wanted to hang out with people or be out a lot with social events (i needed to get myself oht there for work) so between his insecurities and the situations with dominating people I became withdrawn
I think I feel trapt with my family dynamic.
With my parents wanting me to help them tuesday and Wednesday to clean. I grew up in a messy house. I spent so much time fixing that house and cleaning it for years. I am 27. Its not my job to clean up. But I am stuck because someotmes i need help with my bills so I feel obligated to help them.
And I think I'm allergic to something at their place because I feel sick to my stomach a lot of timss I go over there. And drained emotionally. My dad also gets whiny and wants me to not work tuesday or wednesday. and many times tries fo hang ohf longer then I want especially if I need to do something.
And sometimss I dont want to see them on my day off. But it is expected. Also they use to talk everyday. I dont know how to tell them no. I even have avoided their calls. My dad gets whiny and pleads with me to hang out and I cave in. He does not understand many days I feel depressed and I dont want to get dragged around or clean their mess.
As for my fiance. I feel like in the past I was not able to be my self. I like to feel freedom and feel wild and free fo be myself. Not wild in a crazy way. but in a liberated natural way. Sort of like animals in the wild. No one controls them, they are free to do as they please. I am very social and outgoing. I like to be busy and be active. I loved dancng but my partner does nof dance and was insecure about me dancing so I stopped dancing.
He also got bummed out that I wanted to hang out with people or be out a lot with social events (i needed to get myself oht there for work) so between his insecurities and the situations with dominating people I became withdrawn
beth88 9 years ago
The last thing which i may have gone over but I will keep it simple.
The only time I get defensive and aggresive is with my fiance. A lot of times he will offer advice or express his feelings and I will take it that I feel attack and will get mad. I also get anooyed and raise my voice if je is going slow on the road and we have to go somewhere. Itd notbhom. I just feel rushed and in a hurry. When we have gotten in our fights in the past or when I would get freaked out and super upset I would notbwant him near me. I would jump away if he came near me and yell at him to stay away from me. Leave me alone! I want my space. So I think I over compensate and go the other direction with him. Not that I do it all of the time. But just that I only really get fiesty or defensive or yell when we get in fights. Its been the only time I felt safe to get that way.
I guess that.is like the tv show we are watching called parenthood. The dad who has an aspergers kid always fixed everyones problems. He is the nice guy. Then some guy at the store says some nasty thing about his kid and he punches the guy. He opend up and says there are alot of times he felt angry but Keeps control. His dad used to have a temper so he controls his emotions.
I feel like that to. I have grown up with so much violence and lots of angry and agreesive people. I do not like to be mean or cruel and do my best to be nice.
Dont get me wrong with my ex I eventually spoke up. But for most of my life I really keep calm because of the violence I experienced I know there is a lot of feelings of agressiveness inside and I would never want to loose control.
There have been times I admit I was realy nasty to my fiance. I was so angry that it took him so long to break off his friendship with his ex. Which I and everyine but him could see what she was doing. He had insecurity abiut ny exes and I stopped talking to him. He is ok with my exes now and he knows I am better with boundaries and handling myself with guys so hes not worried.
At times I feel guilty because I want to hit him. Or have this feeling of wanting ti rip something apart of break all the dishes. But I dont.
The only thing that has helped has been slamming doors, or hitting my hand on the wall or beating my hands into pillows and screaming to release this energy. I was not meant to feel all this intense energy. I feel like its not mine.
But I habe been conditioned to be protrctive, defensive and keep safe. To survive, not be killed or not be trampled on anymore.
And even though I geT scared of rejection or abither situatuon I also have a fighting energy that is done with people messing with me Or my life
The only time I get defensive and aggresive is with my fiance. A lot of times he will offer advice or express his feelings and I will take it that I feel attack and will get mad. I also get anooyed and raise my voice if je is going slow on the road and we have to go somewhere. Itd notbhom. I just feel rushed and in a hurry. When we have gotten in our fights in the past or when I would get freaked out and super upset I would notbwant him near me. I would jump away if he came near me and yell at him to stay away from me. Leave me alone! I want my space. So I think I over compensate and go the other direction with him. Not that I do it all of the time. But just that I only really get fiesty or defensive or yell when we get in fights. Its been the only time I felt safe to get that way.
I guess that.is like the tv show we are watching called parenthood. The dad who has an aspergers kid always fixed everyones problems. He is the nice guy. Then some guy at the store says some nasty thing about his kid and he punches the guy. He opend up and says there are alot of times he felt angry but Keeps control. His dad used to have a temper so he controls his emotions.
I feel like that to. I have grown up with so much violence and lots of angry and agreesive people. I do not like to be mean or cruel and do my best to be nice.
Dont get me wrong with my ex I eventually spoke up. But for most of my life I really keep calm because of the violence I experienced I know there is a lot of feelings of agressiveness inside and I would never want to loose control.
There have been times I admit I was realy nasty to my fiance. I was so angry that it took him so long to break off his friendship with his ex. Which I and everyine but him could see what she was doing. He had insecurity abiut ny exes and I stopped talking to him. He is ok with my exes now and he knows I am better with boundaries and handling myself with guys so hes not worried.
At times I feel guilty because I want to hit him. Or have this feeling of wanting ti rip something apart of break all the dishes. But I dont.
The only thing that has helped has been slamming doors, or hitting my hand on the wall or beating my hands into pillows and screaming to release this energy. I was not meant to feel all this intense energy. I feel like its not mine.
But I habe been conditioned to be protrctive, defensive and keep safe. To survive, not be killed or not be trampled on anymore.
And even though I geT scared of rejection or abither situatuon I also have a fighting energy that is done with people messing with me Or my life
beth88 9 years ago
Its so strange.
Earlier today I was feeling super sad and meloncholy. Like I have no hope. As if its a rainy sad day.
Then....
I get to work and then a lot of times my mood just perks up. And I feel most times at work really great. Probably all of the social interaction and feel good how many people I help on a daily basis!!
I totally love the moments where I feel happy. I am so loving and joyful and full of energy!
Earlier today I was feeling super sad and meloncholy. Like I have no hope. As if its a rainy sad day.
Then....
I get to work and then a lot of times my mood just perks up. And I feel most times at work really great. Probably all of the social interaction and feel good how many people I help on a daily basis!!
I totally love the moments where I feel happy. I am so loving and joyful and full of energy!
beth88 9 years ago
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
Many times. It is more so lately if I am home alone and then go to work. Its not as bad on the weekends because my partner is home or if I am around people. I think i just feel sad because I want to do a lot with my life but am dealing with all these anxieties and what ifs. Fears of failur. Or bad things happening or not working out etc
beth88 9 years ago
beth88 9 years ago
So it is company that makes you feel better then? It seems an extreme improvement though, to express joy, love and being full of energy?
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
It makes a huge difference. I mean with work I might feel like uggg I have to work but most times once I am there I feel better. Also anxiety if we are going to a party anxious about getting there on time and just getting there. Once I am there I can have a total turn around in my mood. From being in an argument with my sweetie then totally happy.
I also feel a lot of anxiety about new events or new jobs or travel but once I get there I am super happy. Bouncing and wizzing around. And I want to check out everything like as in if its a vacation. Go exploring and see adventure and wildlife or check out neat and new places. I am all game when I arrive.
Also I can feel sad abd be resist going outside and if someone can push me once I get outside if its nice weather I feel a lot better. Just soaking up the sun
I also feel a lot of anxiety about new events or new jobs or travel but once I get there I am super happy. Bouncing and wizzing around. And I want to check out everything like as in if its a vacation. Go exploring and see adventure and wildlife or check out neat and new places. I am all game when I arrive.
Also I can feel sad abd be resist going outside and if someone can push me once I get outside if its nice weather I feel a lot better. Just soaking up the sun
beth88 9 years ago
Ok you have added so much extra information here, I will need the weekend to examine it.
How much reading have you been doing of things like Kingdoms, Groupings in homoepathy, Periodic table prescribing, Sensation prescribing etc?
How much reading have you been doing of things like Kingdoms, Groupings in homoepathy, Periodic table prescribing, Sensation prescribing etc?
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
I know basic stuff...or treating a cold or a sprain, just simple things... basic day to day.... I took a webinar on emergency treatment. I Have heard of different techniques. Amd the homeopath I worked with mentioned that the better you explain your symptoms and are open with all of the better they can help you.
I read almost daily all things health. Aromatherapy, vitamins, eating, vegan/vegetarian recipes and gluten free (im a little sensitive) meditation, philosoph, homeopathy, herbs.
I work at a health store so they want us to cobtinue learning so we can help people with supplments etc.
On the homeopathics, outside of reading for small remedies for acute situations I have read a lot of cases about kids with learning disabilities, beahavior problems, and autism as it is neat to read these cases as my fiance is a special ed teacher.
I just read for hobby and I do want to go to school for homeopathy. I also know it says multiple times to not treat yourself even if you are a homeopath. I would imagine it would be too complicated and messy to try to treat yourself.
Besides one could be to bias. I think it would be the same way if a mother helped a child. That is also why I had my mom and fiance fill out a form here.
I have even read that a homeopath needs to be unbiased in treatment as well as sometimes that his patient is slanted. for instance my ex would most likely not mention smashing stuff or storming through my friends house or how he forced me to be intimate with him. That is just part of the unfolding of a cass.
Just like some therapist see other therapist sometimes. Or a yoga teacher going to another yoga teachers class.
To be honest in the past I would have scared you would judge me because of my interest and come up with a story in my head thinking you do not want to work with myme anymore and even though I have a little anxiety in my chest, just took a big sigh.
My life is my choice and I am hapoy about my interest in health. So as my therapist reminds me I must stand firm. And this is what most of my life played out.
Other people interfering with me being to live my life the way I want to, trying to keep me home so I would always be co dependent with my parents(partially I think to take care of what is their own responsibilities), my ex's controlling nature not letting me be me by squashing and stomping my light and crushing my spirit and who I was!! The various people that had a problem with my natural leadership and loving nurturing team player, motivating the group sort of attitude that forced me out of the group...
and even for a while my fiance not understanding my lifestyle and being afraid because his own bias of what a hippy is (afraid because I was so loving that guys would get the wrong message or I would not see the signs and set good boundaries as well as partially for a while he being afraid I might leave to live in a more free spirited hippy plafe or leave him for a hippie person)
He eventually worked through his stuff but for a long whike I stopped being me and was trying to make him happy. And I stopped going out, dancing etc. And became a hermit and thats why I felt so depressed. And having all of that stuff happen with being pushed out of the yoga circles.
Now I have worked 10x harder to get myself back into the commmunity, and dancing and evem to start my business again. It is so fustrating and upsetting for me. I feel I have stressed myself out because I feel like I had all this progress and now I am starting over at square one. I am hapoy I am not in as much of a hole (dancing at home as exercise, have some new friends, not as dark depression)
My current relationship played out a pattern like my ex exceot this guy is not abusive. He was just over protective more like a scared parent, and overly cautious about most of life. And his wanting to help bring me to and from work as a kind act brought me into becoming reliant on him more so to take care of me.
So I came into a depression where I felt I had not many friends I could reach out to especially because of the situation with his ex amd I did not go public about it so I suffering 99% alone and even in healing the months after.
I mentioned to a sort of friend and she is like o thats in the past. Totally unsupportuve. Well she has not gone through the horror I have.
And here I go again. I guess underneath I am so used to judgment I went into my mode of explaining myself because I fet protective. But I an tired of people judging me and I am tired of changing myself or living for others. I want to live my life for me. I want people like my dad to stop trying to get me to be who they want. I want to be myself and be free to live my life with out walls or constraints or letting other keep me stuck.
Thats why its hard for me not to want to travel and adventure, to ride on a horse, swim in the ocean, one time even I parasailed.. and that why I like picking out my work hours. Because I get to rule myself and live life how I want.
I am not here to take care of my parents or change so people will like me or the person I am with will better accept me. I can not be contained in a box. And yes I am different then the mainstream society but that is me. And I am done trying to fit in being normal and done lettinf others judgment or feel dominate my life.
Otherwise I wil be living for othe, just like my mom. I was young and I did not want to do modeling and cheerleading. She was the one that wanted me in fancy clothes. She still likes to do that today, wanting me to doll up and wear make up otherwise she said I won't get the job.
What my life could have been if my mom or dad asked me what I wanted? Or if they would have applauded me for moving or going to yoga school and told me how proud they were or happy for me findinf my way. The obly time I see that is in a dumb holiday card. And my mom used to say I am going to do what I want to do and no one can stop me, saying I was selfish.
No support for me just a condescending response because then who is going to clean up after her? She wanted me to live out a fantasy dream of glamor, marry someone wealthy (because in her words I cant take care of myself) what nerve of her. To belittle me and make me out to always be as if I am some helpless child.
I asked her in school how to budget money, pay bills and go to school. But she got mad and refused help. She never wanted me to have independence and she would have been happy with my living home, but instead I live 4 minutes away.
I am done and on the threshold of my emotions..
Tearing up now and feel super meloncholy...
Maybe it is just best not to ask another question and just take what you have and use that to find a remedy...
Because talking about this stuff brings a lot up fir me. Which I dont think like this all day long and if it comes up with someone I act calm but here it jusr stirs everything up. And I know once I get off here. I am going to feel sad for most of the day.... until something shifts like seeing my fiance and getting held. Because now I am super sad. But at least I am sticking up for myself, working to move forward and being myself.
So sorry for all this extra stuff I added. You dont even have to add to your repretore. I think i have mentally and emotionally exhausted myself talking about all of this multiple times on this forum. i just want to feel solid and free and strong independence again. Have a good weekend
I read almost daily all things health. Aromatherapy, vitamins, eating, vegan/vegetarian recipes and gluten free (im a little sensitive) meditation, philosoph, homeopathy, herbs.
I work at a health store so they want us to cobtinue learning so we can help people with supplments etc.
On the homeopathics, outside of reading for small remedies for acute situations I have read a lot of cases about kids with learning disabilities, beahavior problems, and autism as it is neat to read these cases as my fiance is a special ed teacher.
I just read for hobby and I do want to go to school for homeopathy. I also know it says multiple times to not treat yourself even if you are a homeopath. I would imagine it would be too complicated and messy to try to treat yourself.
Besides one could be to bias. I think it would be the same way if a mother helped a child. That is also why I had my mom and fiance fill out a form here.
I have even read that a homeopath needs to be unbiased in treatment as well as sometimes that his patient is slanted. for instance my ex would most likely not mention smashing stuff or storming through my friends house or how he forced me to be intimate with him. That is just part of the unfolding of a cass.
Just like some therapist see other therapist sometimes. Or a yoga teacher going to another yoga teachers class.
To be honest in the past I would have scared you would judge me because of my interest and come up with a story in my head thinking you do not want to work with myme anymore and even though I have a little anxiety in my chest, just took a big sigh.
My life is my choice and I am hapoy about my interest in health. So as my therapist reminds me I must stand firm. And this is what most of my life played out.
Other people interfering with me being to live my life the way I want to, trying to keep me home so I would always be co dependent with my parents(partially I think to take care of what is their own responsibilities), my ex's controlling nature not letting me be me by squashing and stomping my light and crushing my spirit and who I was!! The various people that had a problem with my natural leadership and loving nurturing team player, motivating the group sort of attitude that forced me out of the group...
and even for a while my fiance not understanding my lifestyle and being afraid because his own bias of what a hippy is (afraid because I was so loving that guys would get the wrong message or I would not see the signs and set good boundaries as well as partially for a while he being afraid I might leave to live in a more free spirited hippy plafe or leave him for a hippie person)
He eventually worked through his stuff but for a long whike I stopped being me and was trying to make him happy. And I stopped going out, dancing etc. And became a hermit and thats why I felt so depressed. And having all of that stuff happen with being pushed out of the yoga circles.
Now I have worked 10x harder to get myself back into the commmunity, and dancing and evem to start my business again. It is so fustrating and upsetting for me. I feel I have stressed myself out because I feel like I had all this progress and now I am starting over at square one. I am hapoy I am not in as much of a hole (dancing at home as exercise, have some new friends, not as dark depression)
My current relationship played out a pattern like my ex exceot this guy is not abusive. He was just over protective more like a scared parent, and overly cautious about most of life. And his wanting to help bring me to and from work as a kind act brought me into becoming reliant on him more so to take care of me.
So I came into a depression where I felt I had not many friends I could reach out to especially because of the situation with his ex amd I did not go public about it so I suffering 99% alone and even in healing the months after.
I mentioned to a sort of friend and she is like o thats in the past. Totally unsupportuve. Well she has not gone through the horror I have.
And here I go again. I guess underneath I am so used to judgment I went into my mode of explaining myself because I fet protective. But I an tired of people judging me and I am tired of changing myself or living for others. I want to live my life for me. I want people like my dad to stop trying to get me to be who they want. I want to be myself and be free to live my life with out walls or constraints or letting other keep me stuck.
Thats why its hard for me not to want to travel and adventure, to ride on a horse, swim in the ocean, one time even I parasailed.. and that why I like picking out my work hours. Because I get to rule myself and live life how I want.
I am not here to take care of my parents or change so people will like me or the person I am with will better accept me. I can not be contained in a box. And yes I am different then the mainstream society but that is me. And I am done trying to fit in being normal and done lettinf others judgment or feel dominate my life.
Otherwise I wil be living for othe, just like my mom. I was young and I did not want to do modeling and cheerleading. She was the one that wanted me in fancy clothes. She still likes to do that today, wanting me to doll up and wear make up otherwise she said I won't get the job.
What my life could have been if my mom or dad asked me what I wanted? Or if they would have applauded me for moving or going to yoga school and told me how proud they were or happy for me findinf my way. The obly time I see that is in a dumb holiday card. And my mom used to say I am going to do what I want to do and no one can stop me, saying I was selfish.
No support for me just a condescending response because then who is going to clean up after her? She wanted me to live out a fantasy dream of glamor, marry someone wealthy (because in her words I cant take care of myself) what nerve of her. To belittle me and make me out to always be as if I am some helpless child.
I asked her in school how to budget money, pay bills and go to school. But she got mad and refused help. She never wanted me to have independence and she would have been happy with my living home, but instead I live 4 minutes away.
I am done and on the threshold of my emotions..
Tearing up now and feel super meloncholy...
Maybe it is just best not to ask another question and just take what you have and use that to find a remedy...
Because talking about this stuff brings a lot up fir me. Which I dont think like this all day long and if it comes up with someone I act calm but here it jusr stirs everything up. And I know once I get off here. I am going to feel sad for most of the day.... until something shifts like seeing my fiance and getting held. Because now I am super sad. But at least I am sticking up for myself, working to move forward and being myself.
So sorry for all this extra stuff I added. You dont even have to add to your repretore. I think i have mentally and emotionally exhausted myself talking about all of this multiple times on this forum. i just want to feel solid and free and strong independence again. Have a good weekend
beth88 9 years ago
Im not upset with you in any way I am very appreciative of all your help just so you know that my post about being upset does it have anything to do with me being frustrated with you anything like that I know that homeopathy takes time. and I know I personally have to continue to work on myself thanks for listening have a good weekend
beth88 9 years ago
Wishing you a good weekend. I look forward to hearing what medicine you want me to take.
Simone said that sometimes not to take herbs while doing homeopathy. Should I stop taking herbs?
Is there anything I cant have?
I know no mint or camphor.
I have a very small amount of coffee every once and a while.
Thank you.
Simone said that sometimes not to take herbs while doing homeopathy. Should I stop taking herbs?
Is there anything I cant have?
I know no mint or camphor.
I have a very small amount of coffee every once and a while.
Thank you.
beth88 9 years ago
Hi there,
I have been away for Easter, so I am just reconnecting with my cases here today. Yours is a priority now.
The challenge of your case for me is that you give clear and SEPARATE pictures for several remedies, even several Kingdoms. This is not the first time I have seen this, but it does make it quite difficult to decide on a single remedy.
I have been away for Easter, so I am just reconnecting with my cases here today. Yours is a priority now.
The challenge of your case for me is that you give clear and SEPARATE pictures for several remedies, even several Kingdoms. This is not the first time I have seen this, but it does make it quite difficult to decide on a single remedy.
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
Thats ok.
I am sorry for making things so difficult. Maybe it is because I react so differently to things. Like one way I deal with my relationship with my partner, another way with my family, work or stuff with past trauma.
I feel so fustrated and sad. I wish I was more simple.
Maybe you can ask certain questions?
Or maybe I talk about my recent health looks like from a day to day basis.
I think it is because I go in so many different directions.
Maybe if I start over fresh that would help. I could just talk about less story and more how I respond to things and just talk about stuff right nown or maybe re-fill out certain questions along with the physical stuff and you could recalculate.
Current physical stuff :
Issues getting to sleep at night
If I hear noises think there is an intruder. ***
This one is a big issue, O have even got scared during the day and baracade a door afraid for my life. Breathing shallow, feeking frozen.
I do not feel comfortable sleeping by myself
I will be thinking a lot at night and the thoughts keep coming
When my fiance comes in and snores it hurts my ears, very sensitive to light and noise at night. I go to bathroom in the dark.
I have a cold pillow that I can use if I feel I am getting too warm. My mouth and throat is very dry at night and morning. I get dehydrated at night and am but can only drink small sips. But during the day can drink a normal size cup of water.
I toss and turn when I try to get to sleep. I fall asleep on my back.
Fiance says when he wakes up in night I am on my stomach or side.
Trouble getting up.
I feel super groggy. Like in a daze. And the sleep pulls me back in.
Though I wish I could get up early.
My eyes bother me in the morning. It takes me a while to adjust to actually even open my eyes or make it out of bed.
Every morning I always have a bowel movement which drives me to the bathroom. I have a couple bowel movements a day.
When I urinate the flow is very strong and it can easily last 30/45 seconds.
I do not feel hungry till 1hr or 2hrs after I wake up.
I have to eat every few hours otherwise my sugar drops and I start to feel foggy in my mind, make mistakes, feel out of it amd sensitive.
I also seem to be better that I have been making myself drink lots of water through out the day and electrolytes.
Once and a while I get the techacardya with feeling like something is crushing my chest or fast and irratic hearbeats. Sometimes it happens from anxiety, going up a starirs or hill too fast or just randomly.
I also have postural hypotention. So blood pressure
Drops from sitting to standing.
Most effected by hot weather if I am not keeoing myself cool or hydrated. I have to be careful not to have a shower or bath too hot. I dont like it too hot anyways. If I am in too long I get light headed and dizzy. I hate getting my head wet unless it was during summer and the water was also really warm.
I love the ocean but I can easily get sun sick from being out in the sun too long and will not swim in water unless it is warm.
I can not stand cold weather.
I love thunderstorms although sometimes I mightget afraid because the storm looks scary. I love the sound of rain. Although I feel miserable if it is rainy and cold.
Other weird things.
I pick at scab, pimples and in grown hairs. I am very self conscious and also have a nervous tick about this.
I bite my nails on and off. It used to be really bad. Now it happens once and a while.
I also scratch my head or may itch myself if I am stressed. It is a calming thing for me and yet a conpulsion.
And sometimes I get afraid my cat is in the wadher or dryer and have to pull things out 2x or find the cat for fear of it being in there. Which is totally irrational.
Eyes have not twitched in a while.
Type of bowel movement chnges so I feel like that does not help.
I ike dancing and hiking, biking.
I get gassy alot and it smells. My body order is strong and many times I need to wash and reaply deorderent but I can not smell it so I just reapply 1/2 through the day.
Maybe some of these basic things with my physical body stuff would help.
If not I am sorry. This is all stuff I told you before. But this is the stuff that has stayed the same and been consistant.
oddest symptoms
Avoid getting my head wet(like if I did not have to I would not shower my head)
Scratching head
Burning at night, small sips of water dry mouth throat
The bowel movement that drives me out of bed
Super pms before period, first day is the worst with serious intense painful loose bowel movement first day and also severe cramping and being all congested all where my bowels, intestines are. I can describe it but it is awful and comes the first day. hot water botte and pressure helps tremendously
Eating a lot less then I normally do. Still love dark chocolat. Cant stand white or milk chocolate. Only dark.
Coffee and caffeinated tea makes me have to urinate more and upsets my stomach so I dont drink it.
I don't drink much alcohol, I am sensitive to it. Dont like the smell of cigerettes, cant stand them.
Love fruit and smoothies
I dont like milk but like cheese.
Sometimes I like eggs and sometimes I dont.
I cant eat spicy food or sour food.
I like salty things.
I love avacados and tomatoes.
I dont like much candy or sweet beverages. Just chocolate, love lemon poppy seed, carrot cake-always scrape frosting off.
Cant eat apples when not feeling
g well. Dont like green or red peppers but like orange/yellow
I dont know if any of this helps to clear things. So sorry...
Again I feel so bad for all the time you spent. Thank for you not giving up. I really appreciate this and all of your help.
I am sorry for making things so difficult. Maybe it is because I react so differently to things. Like one way I deal with my relationship with my partner, another way with my family, work or stuff with past trauma.
I feel so fustrated and sad. I wish I was more simple.
Maybe you can ask certain questions?
Or maybe I talk about my recent health looks like from a day to day basis.
I think it is because I go in so many different directions.
Maybe if I start over fresh that would help. I could just talk about less story and more how I respond to things and just talk about stuff right nown or maybe re-fill out certain questions along with the physical stuff and you could recalculate.
Current physical stuff :
Issues getting to sleep at night
If I hear noises think there is an intruder. ***
This one is a big issue, O have even got scared during the day and baracade a door afraid for my life. Breathing shallow, feeking frozen.
I do not feel comfortable sleeping by myself
I will be thinking a lot at night and the thoughts keep coming
When my fiance comes in and snores it hurts my ears, very sensitive to light and noise at night. I go to bathroom in the dark.
I have a cold pillow that I can use if I feel I am getting too warm. My mouth and throat is very dry at night and morning. I get dehydrated at night and am but can only drink small sips. But during the day can drink a normal size cup of water.
I toss and turn when I try to get to sleep. I fall asleep on my back.
Fiance says when he wakes up in night I am on my stomach or side.
Trouble getting up.
I feel super groggy. Like in a daze. And the sleep pulls me back in.
Though I wish I could get up early.
My eyes bother me in the morning. It takes me a while to adjust to actually even open my eyes or make it out of bed.
Every morning I always have a bowel movement which drives me to the bathroom. I have a couple bowel movements a day.
When I urinate the flow is very strong and it can easily last 30/45 seconds.
I do not feel hungry till 1hr or 2hrs after I wake up.
I have to eat every few hours otherwise my sugar drops and I start to feel foggy in my mind, make mistakes, feel out of it amd sensitive.
I also seem to be better that I have been making myself drink lots of water through out the day and electrolytes.
Once and a while I get the techacardya with feeling like something is crushing my chest or fast and irratic hearbeats. Sometimes it happens from anxiety, going up a starirs or hill too fast or just randomly.
I also have postural hypotention. So blood pressure
Drops from sitting to standing.
Most effected by hot weather if I am not keeoing myself cool or hydrated. I have to be careful not to have a shower or bath too hot. I dont like it too hot anyways. If I am in too long I get light headed and dizzy. I hate getting my head wet unless it was during summer and the water was also really warm.
I love the ocean but I can easily get sun sick from being out in the sun too long and will not swim in water unless it is warm.
I can not stand cold weather.
I love thunderstorms although sometimes I mightget afraid because the storm looks scary. I love the sound of rain. Although I feel miserable if it is rainy and cold.
Other weird things.
I pick at scab, pimples and in grown hairs. I am very self conscious and also have a nervous tick about this.
I bite my nails on and off. It used to be really bad. Now it happens once and a while.
I also scratch my head or may itch myself if I am stressed. It is a calming thing for me and yet a conpulsion.
And sometimes I get afraid my cat is in the wadher or dryer and have to pull things out 2x or find the cat for fear of it being in there. Which is totally irrational.
Eyes have not twitched in a while.
Type of bowel movement chnges so I feel like that does not help.
I ike dancing and hiking, biking.
I get gassy alot and it smells. My body order is strong and many times I need to wash and reaply deorderent but I can not smell it so I just reapply 1/2 through the day.
Maybe some of these basic things with my physical body stuff would help.
If not I am sorry. This is all stuff I told you before. But this is the stuff that has stayed the same and been consistant.
oddest symptoms
Avoid getting my head wet(like if I did not have to I would not shower my head)
Scratching head
Burning at night, small sips of water dry mouth throat
The bowel movement that drives me out of bed
Super pms before period, first day is the worst with serious intense painful loose bowel movement first day and also severe cramping and being all congested all where my bowels, intestines are. I can describe it but it is awful and comes the first day. hot water botte and pressure helps tremendously
Eating a lot less then I normally do. Still love dark chocolat. Cant stand white or milk chocolate. Only dark.
Coffee and caffeinated tea makes me have to urinate more and upsets my stomach so I dont drink it.
I don't drink much alcohol, I am sensitive to it. Dont like the smell of cigerettes, cant stand them.
Love fruit and smoothies
I dont like milk but like cheese.
Sometimes I like eggs and sometimes I dont.
I cant eat spicy food or sour food.
I like salty things.
I love avacados and tomatoes.
I dont like much candy or sweet beverages. Just chocolate, love lemon poppy seed, carrot cake-always scrape frosting off.
Cant eat apples when not feeling
g well. Dont like green or red peppers but like orange/yellow
I dont know if any of this helps to clear things. So sorry...
Again I feel so bad for all the time you spent. Thank for you not giving up. I really appreciate this and all of your help.
beth88 9 years ago
Previous reply was just my physicals so maybe that may help to see if those are updated.
Did not include bowel movements as there seems to be a few kinds. I dont know if it helos because it changes.
And again if I am able to maybe answer questions for clarity maybe that could help.
Hooe you had a great weekend and thanks for your patience.
Did not include bowel movements as there seems to be a few kinds. I dont know if it helos because it changes.
And again if I am able to maybe answer questions for clarity maybe that could help.
Hooe you had a great weekend and thanks for your patience.
beth88 9 years ago
Alright I spent a lot of time thinking about this.
I wanted to go back and look at the original statements you made about yourself, prior to my first questionnaire, but unfortunately you had deleted them. So I could only go back as far as my first discussion of your those statements. Even out of those a lot confirms my basic feeling for your case - you need an animal remedy. The language is persistent, distinct and strong. Even when you appear to look like a Plant or Mineral remedy, you fall back to talking about the animal kingdom issues.
When I first analysed the case, I focused a lot on the images of the shell. This image has vanished from all of your later statements. Either the image was not really that important OR the remedies (Calc/Venus) removed that sensation. They did not remove the basic feelings or issues around the 'shell' I thought was important. So the focus was right, the interpretation was wrong.
Amongst all that imagery are some of the reoccurring themes however. Sometimes you need to several interview to really see which ones are persistent (therefore important).
Vulnerable to someone hurting you
Somebody can hit me
I've been abused
People have been so cruel (extremely strong indicator for an animal remedy)
I've been stomped over
People violate or hurt me
Don't want people to see me weak or vulnerable
Fear of people taking advantage
People will take advantage of weakness
Threatened, something terrible will happen, I will die
Now what was confusing me is that at times your posts would describe what seemed like very clear Mineral issues - and these were not in just one part of the periodic table but several parts.
Row 2 - Inadequate on their own, looks for help and support, being a separate being, trying to live separately, complete dependence, sudden danger or violence, panic attacks, fear to come out of the shell, umbilical cord, helpless, reliance on others, protective cover, safe place
I will complete this post later today or tomorrow, with a remedy suggestion as well.
I wanted to go back and look at the original statements you made about yourself, prior to my first questionnaire, but unfortunately you had deleted them. So I could only go back as far as my first discussion of your those statements. Even out of those a lot confirms my basic feeling for your case - you need an animal remedy. The language is persistent, distinct and strong. Even when you appear to look like a Plant or Mineral remedy, you fall back to talking about the animal kingdom issues.
When I first analysed the case, I focused a lot on the images of the shell. This image has vanished from all of your later statements. Either the image was not really that important OR the remedies (Calc/Venus) removed that sensation. They did not remove the basic feelings or issues around the 'shell' I thought was important. So the focus was right, the interpretation was wrong.
Amongst all that imagery are some of the reoccurring themes however. Sometimes you need to several interview to really see which ones are persistent (therefore important).
Vulnerable to someone hurting you
Somebody can hit me
I've been abused
People have been so cruel (extremely strong indicator for an animal remedy)
I've been stomped over
People violate or hurt me
Don't want people to see me weak or vulnerable
Fear of people taking advantage
People will take advantage of weakness
Threatened, something terrible will happen, I will die
Now what was confusing me is that at times your posts would describe what seemed like very clear Mineral issues - and these were not in just one part of the periodic table but several parts.
Row 2 - Inadequate on their own, looks for help and support, being a separate being, trying to live separately, complete dependence, sudden danger or violence, panic attacks, fear to come out of the shell, umbilical cord, helpless, reliance on others, protective cover, safe place
I will complete this post later today or tomorrow, with a remedy suggestion as well.
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
Row 3 - 'who am I?', expression of individual choice and will, taking care of your own basic needs, conflict between blending in and feeling different, forsaken, left out
Row 4 - security, protection, attack, guard, fight, safety, pursued, threat, solidity, armour, force, shield, shelter, stability
Now a lot of work has been done in recent years in comparing the various remedies from the animal, plant, mineral (and other) kingdoms in order to establish some kind of analogous or complementary relationships. With your case I have found myself referring a lot to this information. Keep in mind that these 'systems' are still works in progress, but I have found them useful even in their current state.
It is important to remember that any person can need multiple remedies during the journey to good health. Nobody is one remedy, or one kingdom or one group or one anything. Human beings are complex dynamic systems, and we need remedies that match the variations and fluctuations of those systems, given at the right time. This is of course the real challenge. Many of us can see the possibilities - the potential remedies a person might need. But knowing when to give them, knowing when the moment is right - this is the ongoing struggle of the homoeopath.
As you added more information in that last post, as an exercise I did a simple repertorization of the symptoms.
The problem with repertorizing large groups of symptoms is that the more you use, the more likely you will only see polycrest (commonly used) remedies at the top of the list.
Out of 24 symptoms I chose, the most any one remedy showed for was 14. There were two of those - Sulphur and Arsenicum. Arsenicum suits the mental state far better than Sulphur does. There is a lot in the case that might argue for it. The issues of Row 4 on the periodic table (the Iron series) are very strong in your case. However, there are more than just those themes.
Now the next most indicated remedy is Sepia (13/14). It is an animal remedy and a mollusc which aligns somewhat with my first prescription.
Sepia belongs to the CEPHALOPOD group. These are some of the themes of this group:
Sensitive to and adapting to atmospheric changes
The freedom to escape and fly versus unsuccessful striving and feeling trapped
Passion, intensity, speed, impatience - a restless dynamic personality
Sensation of struggling against an opposing force
Floating, flying, falling
Struggling to find a way out
Feeling held back then bursting out
Ambitious but with a sense of being impeded
Concern over their appearance, caring how others see them
Only Sepia is well known and adequately represented in the repertory. Two other lesser known remedies are Eledone and Onychoteuthis (these are new remedies with provings but many of their symptoms are not in the repertory, and many of the physicals may not become known until they are more widely used).
If I look back at a very early post of yours, you make statements like this:
'I love the ocean so much'
'I feel renewed going to the beach'
'feel bad when I have seen a hurt turtle'
'felt terrible for lobsters being ready to be eaten'
'always felt that ocean life doesn't have much protection'
'(oysters, clams) do not have a fighting chance unlike other sea-life like jellyfish or cuttlefish'
'when swimming I love floating along'
'afraid to fall into the deeper ocean'
'very self-conscious' (general theme of Sea remedies)
'(birth) came out really fast'
'mother was not there for me' (classic SEPIA mothering)
'feel trapped, want freedom, like I am being suffocated'
'no ground beneath me'
'afraid of falling'
'felt invisible, or wanted to be invisible' (Sea animal theme, esp. Cypr-eg and Onych-b)
'jet here and there'
'want to feel liberated and free'
'feel burdened by (parents)'(who are like children you need to look after, doing shopping, cleaning etc - this is a strong SEPIA expression - burdened and constrained in the freedom to have their own lives by the love and care they must show for the family)
'do not like being constrained within a relationship'
'our relationship ... I wanted to never be controlled again ... worried it would impinge on my freedom'
'deep anger comes out in spurts'
'feeling people watch me'
'> held tight, wrapping arms around me'
'abandoned, forced to fend for myself'(what happens to the young of cuttlefish)
If I then look closely at Sepia itself, there is a fair amount of the case covered:
Attacks of anger over past times come on involuntarily, through which she becomes so excited she does not know what to do
Inclination to passion
Great sadness with great desire to weep, which she can scarcely suppress
Downcast
Feels low-spirited, does not care what happens to her
Aversion to company
Gloominess, feels unfortunate
Dark forebodings about her disease in regards to the future
Felt very much depressed, becomes excited about a mere trifle, says some very sharp things and feels ashamed of it at the same time
Greatest loathing of life, seems to her she cannot endure such a miserable existence any longer, as if she would pine away if she did not kill herself
Fearful, dares not be alone for a moment
Very easily frightened
Feels very cross, much annoyed by those around
Involuntary laughing and crying with a corresponding change of mood
Alternately lively and sad
Heavy flow of ideas
Recollection of past events puts her in an extreme ill-humour
Anxiety during thunderstorm
Aversion to family members
Cheerful when it thunders and lightnings
Aversion to company yet dreads being alone
Confusion of mind in the morning on and after rising
Envy
Oversensitive to noise
There quite a lot of expressions that lead me to the miasm to which Sepia belongs (the Leprosy miasm):
'broken, unwanted toy'
'infected person'
'total rejection by the world'
'isolated, outcasted, unwanted'
'anger and hating myself'
'ugly, unloved, something wrong with me'
So, it is a long way to come about to it, but I think SEPIA should be used. If I was seeing you in person I would give you Onych-b as well.
Start with SEPIA 200c, one dose only.
Row 4 - security, protection, attack, guard, fight, safety, pursued, threat, solidity, armour, force, shield, shelter, stability
Now a lot of work has been done in recent years in comparing the various remedies from the animal, plant, mineral (and other) kingdoms in order to establish some kind of analogous or complementary relationships. With your case I have found myself referring a lot to this information. Keep in mind that these 'systems' are still works in progress, but I have found them useful even in their current state.
It is important to remember that any person can need multiple remedies during the journey to good health. Nobody is one remedy, or one kingdom or one group or one anything. Human beings are complex dynamic systems, and we need remedies that match the variations and fluctuations of those systems, given at the right time. This is of course the real challenge. Many of us can see the possibilities - the potential remedies a person might need. But knowing when to give them, knowing when the moment is right - this is the ongoing struggle of the homoeopath.
As you added more information in that last post, as an exercise I did a simple repertorization of the symptoms.
The problem with repertorizing large groups of symptoms is that the more you use, the more likely you will only see polycrest (commonly used) remedies at the top of the list.
Out of 24 symptoms I chose, the most any one remedy showed for was 14. There were two of those - Sulphur and Arsenicum. Arsenicum suits the mental state far better than Sulphur does. There is a lot in the case that might argue for it. The issues of Row 4 on the periodic table (the Iron series) are very strong in your case. However, there are more than just those themes.
Now the next most indicated remedy is Sepia (13/14). It is an animal remedy and a mollusc which aligns somewhat with my first prescription.
Sepia belongs to the CEPHALOPOD group. These are some of the themes of this group:
Sensitive to and adapting to atmospheric changes
The freedom to escape and fly versus unsuccessful striving and feeling trapped
Passion, intensity, speed, impatience - a restless dynamic personality
Sensation of struggling against an opposing force
Floating, flying, falling
Struggling to find a way out
Feeling held back then bursting out
Ambitious but with a sense of being impeded
Concern over their appearance, caring how others see them
Only Sepia is well known and adequately represented in the repertory. Two other lesser known remedies are Eledone and Onychoteuthis (these are new remedies with provings but many of their symptoms are not in the repertory, and many of the physicals may not become known until they are more widely used).
If I look back at a very early post of yours, you make statements like this:
'I love the ocean so much'
'I feel renewed going to the beach'
'feel bad when I have seen a hurt turtle'
'felt terrible for lobsters being ready to be eaten'
'always felt that ocean life doesn't have much protection'
'(oysters, clams) do not have a fighting chance unlike other sea-life like jellyfish or cuttlefish'
'when swimming I love floating along'
'afraid to fall into the deeper ocean'
'very self-conscious' (general theme of Sea remedies)
'(birth) came out really fast'
'mother was not there for me' (classic SEPIA mothering)
'feel trapped, want freedom, like I am being suffocated'
'no ground beneath me'
'afraid of falling'
'felt invisible, or wanted to be invisible' (Sea animal theme, esp. Cypr-eg and Onych-b)
'jet here and there'
'want to feel liberated and free'
'feel burdened by (parents)'(who are like children you need to look after, doing shopping, cleaning etc - this is a strong SEPIA expression - burdened and constrained in the freedom to have their own lives by the love and care they must show for the family)
'do not like being constrained within a relationship'
'our relationship ... I wanted to never be controlled again ... worried it would impinge on my freedom'
'deep anger comes out in spurts'
'feeling people watch me'
'> held tight, wrapping arms around me'
'abandoned, forced to fend for myself'(what happens to the young of cuttlefish)
If I then look closely at Sepia itself, there is a fair amount of the case covered:
Attacks of anger over past times come on involuntarily, through which she becomes so excited she does not know what to do
Inclination to passion
Great sadness with great desire to weep, which she can scarcely suppress
Downcast
Feels low-spirited, does not care what happens to her
Aversion to company
Gloominess, feels unfortunate
Dark forebodings about her disease in regards to the future
Felt very much depressed, becomes excited about a mere trifle, says some very sharp things and feels ashamed of it at the same time
Greatest loathing of life, seems to her she cannot endure such a miserable existence any longer, as if she would pine away if she did not kill herself
Fearful, dares not be alone for a moment
Very easily frightened
Feels very cross, much annoyed by those around
Involuntary laughing and crying with a corresponding change of mood
Alternately lively and sad
Heavy flow of ideas
Recollection of past events puts her in an extreme ill-humour
Anxiety during thunderstorm
Aversion to family members
Cheerful when it thunders and lightnings
Aversion to company yet dreads being alone
Confusion of mind in the morning on and after rising
Envy
Oversensitive to noise
There quite a lot of expressions that lead me to the miasm to which Sepia belongs (the Leprosy miasm):
'broken, unwanted toy'
'infected person'
'total rejection by the world'
'isolated, outcasted, unwanted'
'anger and hating myself'
'ugly, unloved, something wrong with me'
So, it is a long way to come about to it, but I think SEPIA should be used. If I was seeing you in person I would give you Onych-b as well.
Start with SEPIA 200c, one dose only.
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
Thank you Evocationer. I did see your last post. I took it that day Of the 200c Sepia. I already had that remedy from when I was prescribed that around a year ago.
This week I have felt a little sensitive to the weather changes and there was a coworker at work it was sick and I think that even though I haven't gotten full blown sick. that my nose was feeling wet is like it was going to run on a flat yesterday. mostly my right nostrise felt congested a few times yesterday my left nose felt wet and enough my throat has been cut of dry and irritated. but I don't know if that's from the remedy because people have been sick at my work.
Sometimes my right wrist or hand gets itchy.
I was just curious what the remedy that you would give me was. would you give me that remedy over sepia if I was close by? is that room anymore of a match? does that remind me not exist? or are you trying sepia first?
I'm not sure if has made a change yet as I was very upset on Tuesday because my brother cancelled our nephews birthday party so he could watch his baseball game.
During the same time I was happy because I got a new haircut that was a birthday present and I felt really good because my haircut look nice. and since I've been working out I've gotten better and shape so I feel happy about that too.
I also stopped taking melatonin at night 3m dose as I think I was becoming dependent on it and it was making me groggy in the am. i had my partner wear nose strips for sleeping and I put in ear plugs in. And lock the bedroom door. with out the melatonin I cant sleep till sometimes 12 or even late as 2am and with my usual difficulty of getting up early at 8am when I have to actuallt work in the morning.
I always feel so groggy amd achy in the am Maybe partially due to a bad bed. Its so hard not to just fall baxk aslee. I habe to force mtself out of bed. My eyes are always sensitive at night and in the am to the light. Somtimes my eyes get watery at night or am. like right now my right eye has a little water.
Also recently I have been driving myself as my car finally got fixed a while ago. So that is a plus.
what changes should I look for to see if sepia is helping me?
This week I have felt a little sensitive to the weather changes and there was a coworker at work it was sick and I think that even though I haven't gotten full blown sick. that my nose was feeling wet is like it was going to run on a flat yesterday. mostly my right nostrise felt congested a few times yesterday my left nose felt wet and enough my throat has been cut of dry and irritated. but I don't know if that's from the remedy because people have been sick at my work.
Sometimes my right wrist or hand gets itchy.
I was just curious what the remedy that you would give me was. would you give me that remedy over sepia if I was close by? is that room anymore of a match? does that remind me not exist? or are you trying sepia first?
I'm not sure if has made a change yet as I was very upset on Tuesday because my brother cancelled our nephews birthday party so he could watch his baseball game.
During the same time I was happy because I got a new haircut that was a birthday present and I felt really good because my haircut look nice. and since I've been working out I've gotten better and shape so I feel happy about that too.
I also stopped taking melatonin at night 3m dose as I think I was becoming dependent on it and it was making me groggy in the am. i had my partner wear nose strips for sleeping and I put in ear plugs in. And lock the bedroom door. with out the melatonin I cant sleep till sometimes 12 or even late as 2am and with my usual difficulty of getting up early at 8am when I have to actuallt work in the morning.
I always feel so groggy amd achy in the am Maybe partially due to a bad bed. Its so hard not to just fall baxk aslee. I habe to force mtself out of bed. My eyes are always sensitive at night and in the am to the light. Somtimes my eyes get watery at night or am. like right now my right eye has a little water.
Also recently I have been driving myself as my car finally got fixed a while ago. So that is a plus.
what changes should I look for to see if sepia is helping me?
beth88 9 years ago
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