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Suicidal, Indecisive, Creative Block, Demotivated

Aoa I am Fine Arts graduate (2016) age 26 Year , doing home based art work business, but business is slow and not regular because of my health issues, I am introvert and suicidal from many years everyday when I wake up there is a battle in my mind that I have to deal with one more day like losers, i am extremely self criticizing and also has self hatred issue, in past I have suffered from minor OCD as well, night mares are usual and I ca not make art work even If I want to , its been more than 6 months I have not made any handmade product, I have been told I have symptoms of Bipolar too, I tried Remedy Finder but it seemed complicated to me, so half a year I am unable to work and earn because of creative block, twice a year am hyperactive (just for 1 month) when i sleep just 5 hours and work whole day and even forgot to eat sometimes. My life is controlled by these strange uncontrollable things not me at all. I can not do what I have to do or I should do.These days am going to classes 4 days a week which am forcing myself to go . Also I can not trust anyone at all no one and my beliefs about world people and everything is negative, thinking pattern is very negative out of control.

Art is my passion I want to make art expand my business and get independent, need healthy beliefs to lead life in better way, i have a lot of talent but now am suicidal have inferiority complex can not face people because of depression.
  Hina21 on 2019-11-03
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
I need to know a few things before suggesting a remedy.

How did it all start?
Do you remember any trauma, stressful events or something that happened in your life at that time?

What sort of nightmare do you get?

Suicidal- Are you just thinking about ending your life or have you actually had attempted suicide in the past?

Are you taking any medications?

Do you drink alcohol?

How do you spend your day? Do you go out with your friends or family?
Tui 10 months ago

Describe your main suffering in details as much as you can. Plus answer (shortly) the following questions (mostly YES / NO Type).

Age, weight, gender, occupation.

From how long you have this problem ?
Do you have diabetes or blood pressure problem ?
What is your daily routine ? from morning till evening ? active or sedentary ?
do you feel marked weakness in body ?
Any constipation or foul smelling gases (abdomen) ? If smelly please mention.
do you feel more thirsty or less ?
When your symptoms aggravate / increase ? like motion, or pressing, lying, moving etc etc.
When your suffering / pain / symptoms ameliorate ? (same example as above)
feel cold in body or hot ?
Any other thing / symptoms you notice ?
Which homeopathic medicines you used in past ? name and potency ?
Any reports or pics ? Please send.
Gentle1 10 months ago
First of all I suggest you
Acid Phos 200
5drops + 30ml water
Shake the bottle 12 times before every dose

10ml from the bottle in the morning
3 days only. Then give feedback.
freehomeoforall 10 months ago
Main Suffering? Waking up every day is suffering, today while in sleep before opening eyes I was repeating to myself while I was half asleep that I should die before 30th age and I repeated it 10 to 15 times then woke up, I had no proper breakfast and my mind is numb irritated angry right now even but it’s difficult for to eat 2 bananas near me, am angry writing all this and feeling irritation because am tired of describing all this to 100 people,
I am extremely negative, automatic negativity machines I am , and am extremely tired of my brain my thinking I hate each day that I have to spend on this eart as useless worthless creature, I have to stamina to do job face people interact with them talk to them fake smiles lies and all manipulation at work place, I cannot survive in his world .
Age: 26 (27th will start this week)
Weight 42kg (Underweight)
Gender: Female
Occupation: Crafter & Artist
Problem Started at start of the year 2012, it’s already making me extremely angry right now to discuss it for 100th time with new 100th person.
No idea about blood pressure or how it feels and even if I have I might be unaware of it.
2012-2016 I had to go to university then I was active, after that mostly home and bed, rarely did I do some activity no motivation stamina energy will power to live anymore. From last 3 months. My routine is to go to class (4 days a week) 9 to 12 then lunch sleep, evening tea, lecture notes, getting depressed, then wasting time on social media and again sleep. On weekends sleeping till late at morning then go outside for sometimes to market then back again same depression, or sometimes cleaning, otherwise negative thinking all the time.
Yes I am malnutrition and I cannot eat, when I am hungry making food is so tiring that I skip meals already I have mood swings and I refuse to eat this n that, I eat quarter piece roti breakfast and 1 cup tea, quarter something in lunch, then tea at evening, same dinner quarter something, sleep that it no milk yogurt anything I hate, even if food is in front of me I force myself to eat it or takes me 10 hours to convince myself to eat. Someday I feel so malnutrition that I force myself to eat double my minds body both feels weak.
No constipation or foul smelling gases (abdomen) – nothing
I do take almost 3-4 glasses of water out of habit not that am thirsty or anything , sorry cannot explain it I did not noticed but water bottle is beside me that’s why I take from It usually when am home in bed.
I don’t know when my symptoms increases more, these day when am in class that is okay but after evening the other half day in bed is hell. Going to class is also tough I miss 1 class in 4 every week, 1 day off every week must. Mostly I am in bed or inactive, right now it’s 10 in morning and my mind feels extremely weak I tried to make eggs in breakfast but had no willpower at all so I left proper breakfast just had quarter roti.
When your suffering / pain / symptoms ameliorate?
Sorry I don’t know will try to figure out. No hot and cold sensation in body, a lot of anger mostly.
Used medicines in 2012 that was not homeopathy
I am trying homeopathy for first time told by therapist Kali Phos x6 twice a day 4 tablets taking from 1 month (October 2019)
Any REPORTS or Pics?
I have high Prolactin level from August 2019
If you need all these reports let me know I will send you.
Kali Phos x 6 (2 dose 4 tab from 1 month)
My Vitamin D is below average I think it was 10 something
Other tests were normal.
Hina21 10 months ago
There are over 5000 homeopathic remedies and you can't swallow them all at once so we needed to ask some questions to narrow down the choice of a remedy.

Anyway, you may follow a suggestion of freehomeoforall. He is a wonderful homeopath, wil look after you. Best wishes.
[Edited by Tui on 2019-11-04 07:37:31]
Tui 10 months ago
I replied to your questions as asked
[Edited by Hina21 on 2019-11-04 08:05:45]
Hina21 10 months ago
I need to know a few things before suggesting a remedy.

How did it all start?
In college . Something happened but am unable to explain tried in previous comments :(
Do you remember any trauma, stressful events or something that happened in your life at that time? Betrayal by an old friend

What sort of nightmare do you get?
Death blood lose kidnapping being opressed

Suicidal- Are you just thinking about ending your life or have you actually had attempted suicide in the past?
Self harm scratching biting left hand
Not attenpted
Are you taking any medications?
Kali phos x6 2 dose 4 tab from 1 months

Do you drink alcohol?No Never

How do you spend your day? Do you go out with your friends or family? No jus 1 friend 1 meeting in 3 months . No meeting with any relative aunt uncme just with siblings
Am introvert rarely leave home. And lost trust on all disociation
Hina21 10 months ago
Hi Hina,

You can try freehomeoforall prescription.
You can only follow one person at a time.
Please look at the user name of who is
Talking to you, to make sure that you
Are taking advice from the person you are following-
Because if a lot of people are posting... it is easy to get confused.

It seems you have a homeopath who is prescribing Kali phos 6x.
This is considered a very low dose cell salt that helps nourish nerves.
It sounds like nothing is improving from this???

You do not say “what happened” at the university. Many times
A remedy is chosen specifically due to “what happened”.
So you need to talk about that even if you are irritated -

I used to be a counselor. Sometimes people get depressed, have low
Energy that leads to what you are experiencing because there is
An actual physical problem. If you do not have the right amount
Of energy you will have the symptoms you describe. I have had
Several people describe similar symptoms to you because
The had a hidden Infection( 3 people had a bad tooth with no
Tooth symptoms and it was totally draining their energy) they
Could not work, then thought they were a “loser” , etc etc.
When they finally figured out it was a tooth- they were better ,
Back to normal in a week.

Other people had some”incident” happen - shamed or felt
Humiliated or shocked by something- they needed a remedy
For this- usually Ignatia or Nat mur.

The OCD behavior usually has to do with some incident-
That feels humiliating or a loss of control over things-
The body/ mind tries to protect you from this memory-
It starts an actual brain loop from the lower brain to the
Hippocampus generating stress chemicals which in turn
Keep this loop of negativity going.

People need to confront— the original incident—
And learn how to detach from the negativity- with understanding
How the “loop” keeps getting set off.Besides this, the right
Remedy can really start to release the original emotions.

So- A. This can be from a physical cause- that has to be ruled out.
Because if there is a physical cause, no medicine addressing a mental cause will fix it.
B. If whatever happened ? Was a shock- or distressing ?
Then that cause can be addressed .
simone717 10 months ago
Hina try calc.phos 200c .. 4 drops in some sips of water in a separate disposable glass with some water in it. every week once only or every 5th day. once only. No more no repeat. TOTAL 2 doses .. and after that you can update.

Avoid spicy, oily, deep fried, junk foods completely. avoid microwave oven, broiler chicken, dirty water, old aluminum pots specially with black dots at the bottom (maybe college shop person uses old aluminum pots so avoid as well.) And fruits ripen from chemicals.

After two doses you can update. You can click the user name to read the profile etc. I replied to you because you answer to my questionnaire. You were irritated but you made it some how. I am very hopeful and this remedy will start recovery quickly. If you use some of my suggested remedies you will feel much much better for sure.
[Edited by Gentle1 on 2019-11-06 14:46:23]
Gentle1 10 months ago
Please clarify it Gentle
Tell me about its tablets
Every week have to take it 1 day?
2 doses per day?
For example every Monday I may take it?
Sorry to bother you
And for how many weeks?
Should I stop Kali Phos? I think its helping me getting improve but slowly
Or I should take both medicine thanks alot

Even today I had mental diarrhea, daily happens mental diarrhea
Hina21 10 months ago
Most of the prescribers on here are from,
India -Bangladesh. Tui is from New Zealand.

In India, homeopathic meds are available everywhere
And they come in pills or liquid. The cell salt you
Take is tablets.

In western countries liquid is not as available and costs
More than pills.

So, depending what country you are in?
You may have to order calcatea phosphorica 200c -
200, 200c, 200ck are all the same thing.

Wait for gentle to tell you how many pills to
And for his advice on Kali phos 6x.

He wants you to take it only 2 times.
I would report your experience a few days
After the first dose. If a person is sensitive
And has reactions, then he may suggest
Waiting more than 5 days for the second dose.
[Edited by simone717 on 2019-11-05 23:31:27]
simone717 10 months ago

Yes once a week only. 4 drops only. no more no repeat. update after 5-7 days of taking remedy. You can take it with the interval of 5 days or seven days. But after every dose you have to wait accordingly (5 or 7 days to see changes or improvements) and update after. Before repeating the medicine.therefore it is an option what you select. 5 days interval or 7 days.

Regarding Kali.Phos6x you can continue ... but if you have a real diarrhea (not mental diarrhoea) stop kali.phos6x .. it wont work in diarrhea. {Mental diarrhea I never listen this term before. But I am talking about a real diarrhea}

If you get it in liquid form 4 drops .. if you are taking in pill form same 4 pills once only and wait for next 5-7 days to note reactions. Update after that.
[Edited by Gentle1 on 2019-11-06 00:09:11]
Gentle1 10 months ago
She wants to know if she can continue Kali phos 6x-
She says it is helping her but it is slow.
simone717 10 months ago
She can I edited my last message.
Gentle1 10 months ago
I am from Pakistan
Yes I got pills will take 3 days to recieve it and i will start taking Thank you so much
Mental diarrhea means non stop mind chatter ,compling to friends alot and non stop nagetive thinking patterns
I will try to get medicine start it and update here will need some time.
Thank you so much all of you for your time and suggestion I am really thankful :)
Hina21 10 months ago
Ok. Always check the username below the message so that you could remember the original prescirber who is taking your case. you can click the user name for more details.

You need some 2-3 remedies for almost a complete cure. Strictly follow the precautions every single day, I mentioned in one of my earlier message.

Good Luck
[Edited by Gentle1 on 2019-11-06 14:48:26]
Gentle1 10 months ago
I am following Gentle
There are so many cant decide but I am gona get Calc phos 200c to try soon. I am tryong my best . Thank you
Hina21 10 months ago
Hi Hina,

Yes, you have to follow one person at a time.
However, if you find it is not helping, just thank
The person and say you want to try someone else.
Start a new thread, ask for who you want in the new thread headline
And ask them to click your user name so they can
See your old thread history.

One can click any user name and see their threads
And history on the forum. The important thing is
That you get your life back and can enjoy it.

Best wishes,

Simone 717
simone717 10 months ago
Ok i will work with gentle n get calc phos 200c soon
[Edited by Hina21 on 2019-11-08 19:23:56]
Hina21 10 months ago
Is Calcium Phos and Calcarea Phos same???
Hina21 10 months ago
freehomeoforall 10 months ago
Am done with 2 doses of Calc Phos 200X
11th and 18th November with interval of 7 days

Should I continue taking it next week?
I was again suicidal on 16th November and 21st October before this.
Trying to keep check
Hina21 10 months ago
Hi Hina,

Gentle is no longer on the forum-you can work
With freehomeo.

Were you taking x potency of cal phos?
You were prescribed 200 c potency.

What did you notice after taking this?
How are you now? What are your symptoms
At this time?
[Edited by simone717 on 2019-11-20 15:37:06]
simone717 10 months ago
Please answer to the asked questions of simone.

Give full details of your present condition.
freehomeoforall 10 months ago
I have taken 2 doses of Calc Phos 200× apotency as told by Gentle Sir, I was suicidal on 16th then 21st and also today I woke up suicidal but it was not that severe and I managed to sleep again to shut my mind then I woke up after 6 hours and I was okay for almost 3 to 4 hours then crying starts triggers and till now triggers fear if future and anxiety it usually starts after 6 at evening pakistan time. But also I am on periods that can be 1 reason I am trying to keep track of my suicidal days and thoughts I will update here every week. Should I take next 3rd dose of calc phos 200 on coming Monday? Thank you so much. Also this week my Kali Aphos dose was very irregular and not in good amount . I neglected it i was not well the therapist who told me to take kali phos abondened me may be bacause I have no will power.
Hina21 10 months ago

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