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I need help in taking charge of my own life.

Hi all, I am Pradeep. I am 31 years old and am still living off my parents. I need help in breaking out of this 'dependent mentality' and take charge of my life.

Whenever I try to work towards something which will make me self sufficient, the fear I experience during the transition ends up making me run back to my parental home.

I was good in studies but never worked a job. The very idea of working totally shuts down my brain, it just wants to live in safe comfort of my parental home. Maybe it is due to my father being rich as he inherited a lot from my grandfather. I don't know the root cause, but I live with this shame of being a dependent every day, without doing something about it.

When I was 2 years old my father went to England and I lived with my mother and my grandparents. My father returned when I was 12 years old, after both my grandparents has died. My father was never on speaking terms with my grandfather yet he got all the ancestral property which my Grandfather gave to my mother (this is something I reset, I feel I should have got all that and not him, grandfather loved me not him. I know god decides who gets what, but just sharing my thoughts so you know what goes on inside me).

My mother's style of upbringing was very protective one, I was always given 24/7 care and if I faced my problem I will run back to the safety of my mother's lap instead of facing the problem. I still do that till this day, which is something I am ashamed of as I am 31 year old man and I should face my own problems head on. This behavior got more intense when my father returned as he would beat me a lot, most of the time without any reason. I would spend more and more time in fear and try to be with my mother. Once he had all the ancestral property transferred from my mother to his name, he started mistreating her as well. He would beat her and not do anything for her. Yet he would openly flirt with other females outside home. He would use the ancestral money to do favors on outsiders and they would praise him. To the outside world, he was a money lending awesome person. At home, he was the evil incarnate.

This has still continued to this day, he mistreats me and my mother, although now he uses mental torture and public humiliation instead of physical violence. My mother takes allopathic medicine for depression and is filled with sadness and resentment.

It was my duty as her son to study well, get a job and give her a life of dignity and peace. But I am continuously failing at that. I did good study, but never was able to break out of my strong mental inability to work.

If any other details are needed please let me know.
  Pradeep27 on 2014-01-14
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
You need staphysagaria 200 one dose daily evening time for five days along with mimmulus bach flower to be taken twice daily mor and evening for 7days come back after 7days for further advise .
akshaymohl 6 years ago
Thank you for your help, will report after 7 days.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Does 1 dose means 1 drop (liquid medicine)? How many drops of the Bach flower remedy should I take at 1 time.

[message edited by Pradeep27 on Tue, 14 Jan 2014 09:50:48 GMT]
Pradeep27 6 years ago
2 drop of med in two table spoon of water as one dose.this is one dose in every med.
akshaymohl 6 years ago
I have completed taking both medicines as told. Thanks.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Report any progress
akshaymohl 6 years ago
For the first time in 3 years I took some small steps towards making myself self sufficient. Any specifics you would like to know?
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Pl repeat for 7 days
akshaymohl 6 years ago
I have completed taking the medicines. During these 7 days, results were mixed. Day 1 to 3 were wasteful, day 4 and 6 were filled of depression, resentment due to not have courage when it was required in the past eventsof life. Day 7 I was back to working on path that will make me independent.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Med every alternate day for 6 days report me daily.
akshaymohl 6 years ago
Today was day 1 so I took medicines (will take on day 1,3,5).

The day was mostly peaceful and I worked towards my goal. I also started going for morning walk. Today was much more positive that last 6 days.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Today was day 2, non medicine day. It was mostly positive and I worked towards my goal. One of the main struggles I am facing is that I get distracted easily and then I end up wasting time getting carried away by distractions.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Day 3 was medicine day. I took all medicines as told. I spent the whole day playing video games. Despite my best efforts, the fun I was getting from playing video games was just too much to stop.

I first started playing video games after my father came back into our lives and started physically abusing me. It was a way to forget my real life and immerse myself into something in which I had more power and control. But this habit has stuck with me for a long time now and has been a big cause of many failed opportunities. I have spent a combined total of 3-4 years of my life playing video games 14 hrs a day and shying away from any work that will make me leave my room.

The way I postpone my work forever is by this way. Lets say today is 1st January 2013 and my job exam is on 1 December 2013. I will spend whole month of January playing video games or reading 'self help' books and then say to my self 'I will start serious exam preparation from February 1'. Then I will again spend whole month of February playing video games and say to myself ' I will start serious preparations from March 1.'. I will continue to extend dates until November 15 comes. Then I will study for 15 days and fail the exam. During the whole time people around me will think I am studying due to my good grades during school and college.

This cycle fills me with regret and I quit the video game I played during that time. But once I find a new video game that I like, the cycle repeats itself. The lure of being a hero and saving the world (in the video game) seems too much to turn down.

Please feel free to ask my more questions.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
You need weekly dose of staphysagaria along with bach flower daily scleranthus whitechestnutand walnut2drops of each in two table spoon of water as one dose and to taken three times daily for one month.med are for dalay indecisive mind repeating same mistake act again and again and third one to come out of this mess.
[message edited by akshaymohl on Sat, 01 Feb 2014 08:29:54 GMT]
akshaymohl 6 years ago
Thank you, I will start using them as described.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Today is day 17 of taking these remedies. I will continue taking them as described for 13 more days.
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Pl give feed back of your progress.
akshaymohl 6 years ago
I have started studying more now, but it is still not consistent. One change I did notice is that earlier I used to wait for 'Ideal Conditions' to happen before I studied, but now I study whenever possible (on some days).
Pradeep27 6 years ago
akshaymohl 6 years ago
I have completed the course.
Few changes I have noticed:

1. I study more now, my study is no longer dependent on having ideal conditions to study.

2. Video games have lost their charm for now. I always new that they were repetitive, and there were only superficial differences between one game and another. But now I do not play it anymore.

3. I go for a walk at 5 am everyday. This is also the first time that my fitness schedule has continued past week 2.
[message edited by Pradeep27 on Wed, 05 Mar 2014 00:26:54 GMT]
Pradeep27 6 years ago
I am cofused what you want to convey.Why you brought this subject now.Dr kadwa is our respectable Doctor on this forum .
[message edited by akshaymohl on Tue, 04 Mar 2014 16:36:36 GMT]
akshaymohl 6 years ago
I am sorry for the confusion Dr. Akshay. Jagdeep1984 was my old profile, this is my new profile. I have nothing but absolute respect for Dr. Kadwa and Dr. Anuj, and all the wonderful homeopathic doctors on this forums who help so many people each day. I shared the links because I really feel that it was my own self-sabotaging that prevented me from continuing the homeopathic treatment these wonderful doctors provided me with. Again, I state that I have absolute respect for Dr Kadwa and Dr Anuj and I totally understand that no doctor can help me if I do not follow his or her instructions.

Out of respect I have edited the previous post and will stay on topic from now on, please accept my sincere apologies.

This time, with God's grace and your tremendous help I feel that I am making progress, please let me know what are the next steps.

Thank you
Pradeep27 6 years ago
Pl continue with treatment with weekly feed back .We all are here to help you.
akshaymohl 6 years ago
double post
[message edited by Pradeep27 on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 13:31:00 GMT]
Pradeep27 6 years ago
I have continued taking the medicines. I am studying for most of the day. But I also have been sleeping more and more lately.

I need 7 hours of sleep at night and then 2 hours during afternoon. Maybe it is seasonal change or maybe it is because I sit in sunshine at noon and that makes me sleepy. I have been drinking 2 litres of water everyday.
Pradeep27 6 years ago

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