≡ ▼
ABC Homeopathy Forum

 

The ABC Homeopathy Forum

dying mother, guilt & grief

My dear mother has been very fanatically religious for the past 17 years of her life. She would not only go to church and try to live a life according to all catholic rules, but also pray (for about 5-6 hours a day on her knees), look after old people needing help, donate money, work as volunteer in church's charity and live on a very strict diet. She would eat only bread on Wednesday and not eat anything until 9pm on Fridays (it's been like this for about 10 years). She's a super strict vegan, eats very little protein and for a very long time she's not taken any supplements.
From the very start of her religious journey she's made it clear, that her life and her choices are what she wants/needs and she wants our complete support and acceptance. Me, my father and my brother we all have never interfered & did our best to support her.
She became a bit like a brainwashed person. Would talk a lot about the real truth, what priests say, listen to religious radio and wish we all would realize and see the real purpose in life. She always emphasized, that god leads her, she knows what she has to do, what to eat and that all illnesses are just a chance for her to 'make it up' for all the sins she's done.
She's now 68. A tiny frame, with almost no flash left on her. Her face is dry, covered in wrinkles and dark sunken eyes. She's almost unable to walk for the past 10 months and still is refusing to not only be seen by any doctor, but wont change her diet, use any natural remedies... Prolonged malnutrition and almost some kind of self torturing that she deserves anything that's 'sent' to her. She's always been head strong.
Her health in the last few weeks has been getting worse. She's not telling us how she feels, but one can see her struggles, but still, won't accept any help and will do as much by her self as she can. She now says she wants to go, to her God and that the way to him is hard.
Up until recent weeks I've always managed to somehow (I live far away from my parents and see them only a few time a year) respect her choices (mainly because there was nothing else I could really do), but with her deteriorating like this and us having to just watch and feel powerless has been too hard. I've had questions from her relatives, how did we kids allow so calmly our mother to go like this, but what can we do? Forcing anything would just really upset her and probably make her feel even more alone than she already does. It breaks my heart... she 's asked her best friend to leave her in peace and never come back as friend was continuously pledging my mom to seek help. There is no hope in talking her into changing something. And how hard that is when you love and want to protect, but my selfish need for her to live is not what she wants...
I feel so lost. I'm crying & crying and dreading seeing her again. I'm so so sad, that she's been alone, so often not understood by her loved ones, especially now...I just wish, she'll find what she believes in her afterlife.
I'm starting to feel the anger emerging (probably something that has been suppressed for all those years), I'm angry and feeling guilty that we maybe should have done something, maybe long time ago, but am not sure what could have been done. Am angry with religion, it has stolen our mother/wife from us. But most of all, this feeling of knowing your mother is dying, where I so want to embrace her, protect and keep her, but she's going and I'm asked to let her be...
I feel scared how will I live knowing my mommy is suffering (by choice?) or when she's gone?...
I'm trying to not submerge myself in apathy. I've my lovely family, my own kids that make me want to not give up. My mother has had her life, maybe not the one I wished for her, but we don't get to choose, she did and I want to let her go in peace.

I was looking at taking Ignatia or Staphysagria?

Would appreciate your help.
 
  miaki on 2012-02-04
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.

Post ReplyTo post a reply, you must first LOG ON or Register

 

Important
Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.