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Ongoing Flatulence - roughly 10 years

Because I saw a post similar to my concerns, and one of the advisors here finally put up a list of questions, I thought I would just start with that to make this clear...hope this isn't too over-the-top...I'm sure you can appreciate this has been going on for so long I'm at my wit's end.

1. Describe your main suffering?
I have flatulence. Typically it starts later in the day - not long after lunch. But I go through periods when it is constant. It's worst at night, around bed time. Most of the time it is odorless, but there are times (for the last two weeks, for example) when it is extremely smelly and embarrassing.


2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?

I used to suffer from thrush quite regularly, but I've not had a case in about a year, since I started using a mooncup. I have minor rosacea on my face, but my skin has been much better recently.

3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?

Just overwhelming embarrassment and frustration.

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst?

Cramping in my stomach, sometimes burning in my anus, and crushed self-esteem.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?

I've been vegan for 14 years...I went through a period during uni about 10 years ago when I was flat broke and living on instant noodles and beansprouts for a couple of months. I became very constipated - several days without a bowel movement. It was around that time that this began, although it has been very on-and-off since - I go for very long periods with no symptoms.

6. Which time of the day you are worst?

Evenings, although for the past two weeks it's been more or less constant.

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same?

I'm not sure! I'm vegan - I know that if I eat something with dairy I can become sick, but I almost never eat dairy (save for tasting something occasionally). I thought maybe it was wheat, but I don't always react.

8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?

I've noticed some increase with cold weather recently, as have just moved from a very hot and humid climate to a cold European climate (typical fall weather). But this is really speculation.

9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?

As above, I would think hot and dry weather is my preferred climate, but I've had this problem in just about every climate, and I've been without symptoms in those same climates at times.

10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

I have a propensity for feeling down, although I wouldn't call it depression - nothing clinical. I can have pretty heavy PMS, but I try really hard to stay centered, to live well and respect myself and others. At times easily offended, but very caring and strongly dislike confrontation.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?

No problems - a bit of excitement.

- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?

Sometimes - I'm often better off getting through it alone.

- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?

Yes - not to an overwhelming extent, but I do notice sensory changes and am affected by them.

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
weeping, talking to one self etc?

I bite my nails, sometimes eat a bit too much, am quick to tears (especially during PMS), and can be fidgety at times.

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?

Deeply love my friends, family (although they stress me out a bit and live far away), have no children, and have an excellent, loving, near-perfect relationship with my husband.

11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?

My dreams are random - I do have separation anxiety sometimes, and worry that I might be a little bit codependent.

12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?

I'm a carb addict! But I try hard to keep that to a minimum - one per meal...thinking of skipping carbs at dinner now with this problem. Don't like tomatoes raw and unsalted, really dislike mushrooms, and keep a vegan diet.

13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?

I can go too long without water, but I love water - I try to drink at least 1.5 liters/day, plus green and herbal teas...

14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?

At present I'm struggling to feel hungry, but staying with in-laws so feeling obligated to eat at mealtimes.

15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?

For sure - if I wasn't always - I know I am lactose-intollerant now.

16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?

I think my sweat is normal, or a little low, but as a kid I went through a very high-stress period aged 10 when I had to go onto a prescription antipersperent due to very excessive sweating.

17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?

Almost always like clockwork - within an hour of waking, but lately have been a bit constipated - still bowel movements daily, but irregular times and don't feel complete.

18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?

I sleep very well, normally move around a bit, but on my sides - switching throughout the night.

19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?

Yes, generally.

20. How do you think you are different from others, if at all?

I can be excessively empathetic...and also excessively moody or dramatic sometimes. I don't know many other vegans, but I know this isn't so unusual anymore. Otherwise I guess I'm pretty much like everybody else.

21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?

I haven't really taken medication, although I've taken acidophilous at times. I have done the Master Cleanse years ago a few times, and this time around I did a saltwater flush, but no permanent remedy. And the flush I did this morning doesn't seem to have had any impact, as I've had flatulence this evening.

22. What major diseases are running in your family?

High blood pressure and cholestorol, obesity, c**cer, addiction, mental illness

23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.

I'm tall - 180cm, and need to lose some weight (working on that) - 85kg currently. I am of European descent, light brown hair, blue eyes, fair skin, prone to freckles and mild sunburns. I have biggish bones - size 42 feet, broad shoulders.

I hope that's enough information - can't imagine it's not! But please do let me know if you need anything further...I'm so anxious to find a solution to this!

--a
[message edited by activiste on Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:50:17 GMT]
 
  activiste on 2011-11-04
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
I am happy to take on your case if you like, however the intake form you have used is not the best one. There are many leading questions in this form that actually corrupt your natural expression of your problem, and this can actually hide the information we need.

If you don't mind, I can post my intake form and you can regive some of the information, in a format that is more useful to me. I am a very thorough case-taker, and I prefer to make prescriptions with as much confidence as I can to avoid large numbers of remedies prescribed and possible side effects or other issues from the medicines themselves.

GUIDELINES FOR GIVING HOMOEOPATHIC CASE INFORMATION

It is important to describe all your problems in as much detail as you are able. One word answers and short sentences are not particularly helpful. Discuss each problem one at a time, providing (as a minimum level of detail) the following information.

1. What exactly happens?
2. Describe all sensations and pains. Each pain or sensation should be described in such a way that allows us to imagine having the same pain.
3. What causes the problem to get worse after it has started occurring?
4. What creates some relief for the problem?
5. What triggers the problem into occuring?
6. What time of the day or night does the problem occur?
7. When did the problem start? What was happening in your life at that time? Did some specific event or treatment take place just before the problem started?

Move from one problem to the next, doing the same thing. IT IS VITAL THAT YOU GIVE A COMPLETE PICTURE OF YOUR HEALTH BY PROVIDING ALL PROBLEMS YOU HAVE, EVEN IF NOT CONNECTED TO THE MAIN ONE, AND EVEN IF YOU CONSIDER IT OF LESS IMPORTANCE.

You should address each problem separately using the above 7 questions as a guide. Do not put all your complaints into each of the 7 questions. Discuss one problem at a time. If you have, for example, a headache with nausea, do each component separately too (what makes the head pain worse or better, what makes the nausea worse or better).

As well as this, please describe any traumatic incidents that have taken place in your life. Discuss anything that has had a lasting impact on you mentally, emotionally or physically.

Discuss the way that you manage or deal with your problems, or any problems that occur in your life.

Discuss any patterns you have noticed in your behavior especially concerning your disease.

Discuss any part of your life where you feel stuck or unable to change and grow, especially where this occurred around the beginning of your disease, or as the disease evolved.

Describe your childhood and the kind of environment you grew up in, with reference to your relationships with your family, your school experiences, and any serious childhood diseases.

If your earlier discussions have not mentioned these already, please describe:

1. The specific foods that you crave (not just like) or hate
2. The specific drinks that you crave or hate
3. What your sleep is like
4. How the weather and the temperature affects you
5. What kinds of things in the environment you are particularly sensitive to
6. What your general level of energy is like
7. What your level of sexual energy or desire is like
8. Describe your menstrual cycle

9. Also give these details

a) Body type and build
b) Skin colour and texture
c) Areas of the body tends to perspire on
d) Odour of sweat, body, stool, flatus, urine
e) Colour of stool, urine, sweat

10. Give any reactions to vaccines or medical drugs.


11. Give the names of any homoepathic medicines you have taken, and their results.

There will undoubtedly be more questions after this, sparked by your responses. I can add the new information plus what you have given in your first post to help me analyze your case.


David Kempson
Professional Classical Homoeopath
Dip.Hom.Med.1994
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I don't mind at all, and greatly appreciate you taking the time to help me. I'll reply straight away, but might take me a few minutes to complete the form! Working on it now.

Best,
--a
 
activiste last decade
Take your time. I would rather you were thorough than quick.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
1. What exactly happens?

There seem to be two distinctive types of gas that I get. The first is more normal - mostly odorless gas, often first thing in the morning and then later at night, quite noisy. Occasionally, and currently, I suffer from reasonably painful cramping on and off during the day and into the night, and more silent, very smelly gas.

2. Describe all sensations and pains. Each pain or sensation should be described in such a way that allows us to imagine having the same pain.

With regard to the gas I'm experiencing now, my stomach feels tight and bloated, and I get little spasm-like cramps that pass after a moment maybe two or three times per day. When I pass gas it is warm, and after a while it starts to burn a bit in my anus. At other times, my stomach cramps just before I pass gas, and I just feel great relief afterward. The gas can at times also feel as though it is pressing upon my bladder. One important thing is that I never feel like I can hold it in - sometimes it just comes out, and other times I feel absolutely compelled to push it out.

3. What causes the problem to get worse after it has started occurring?

Eating...seemingly anything! Even normal meals.

4. What creates some relief for the problem?

Nothing I've tried. It just seems to come and go of its own accord - although I'm sure there are triggers I've just not been able to identify.

5. What triggers the problem into occuring?

As above, I'm just not sure. I can say that eating dairy causes this problem, but I almost never eat dairy, and have not ingested any dairy for over a week.

6. What time of the day or night does the problem occur?

Sometimes first thing in the morning, often late in the evening, and lately it's more or less constant.

7. When did the problem start? What was happening in your life at that time? Did some specific event or treatment take place just before the problem started?

I've been vegan for 14 years...I went through a period during uni about 10 years ago when I was flat broke and living on instant noodles and beansprouts for a couple of months. I became very constipated - several days without a bowel movement. It was around that time that this began, although it has been very on-and-off since - I go for very long periods with no symptoms.

1. The specific foods that you crave (not just like) or hate

I don't really crave foods as such...just really like carbs.

I hate mushrooms, with a few exceptions, but particularly button mushrooms. I hate raw tomatoes, but love a good bruschetta or salsa (weird, I know).

As previously mentioned, I am vegan, so while I don't 'hate' animal products, I don't consume them.

2. The specific drinks that you crave or hate

Always love water, sometimes really feel like I need a coffee (mid-afternoon, but not every day), and drink all sorts of tea and infusions quite regularly.

3. What your sleep is like

I sleep really well. Love 8 hours, but can live on less. More than 8 and I drag all day.

4. How the weather and the temperature affects you

I think I get seasonal affective disorder. I crave heat and sun, but I grew up in Southern California, so...cold weather, but especially grey, rainy weather, can really depress me. And it's almost never too hot for me. I had a bad injury - double compound spiral fracture in tibia and fibula - in 2007, and get quite a bit of pain in that leg in the cold weather now.

5. What kinds of things in the environment you are particularly sensitive to

Conflict bothers me quite a lot. I don't particularly like bright lights (except the sun!) or loud noises. Lately even loud music is really difficult for me...feeling old!

6. What your general level of energy is like

I have to be conscious about my energy levels. I need to exercise every day, eat well, and get enough sleep. I can be prone to low energy or feeling depressed if I'm not careful.

7. What your level of sexual energy or desire is like

When my body's like this, it's zero...I feel unattractive and my libido is crushed. Otherwise I'm quite a sexual person, and have a healthy relationship with my partner. This condition is particularly debilitating.

8. Describe your menstrual cycle

My cycle is pretty regular - about every 26-30 days, and very short - 2-3 days at most. I use a mooncup (which I love), and have minor cramps for the first day or two.

9. Also give these details

a) Body type and build
180cm, 85kg. Getting fitter, but still overweight.

b) Skin colour and texture
Pale with gold undertones. Freckles. A bit dry. Minor rosacea on cheeks, but improving a lot over the last couple of weeks.

c) Areas of the body tends to perspire on
only when really hot and humid: armpits, underneath breasts and groin area.
d) Odour of sweat, body, stool, flatus, urine
Sweat, little to none. Body, little to none. Stool, normally not very smelly at all. Flatus, varies as discussed above - currently very smelly, even putrid. Urine, little to none (unless I eat asparagus).
e) Colour of stool, urine, sweat
Stool: darkish brown. Urine: Yellow-to-clear, depending on water intake. Sweat: clear.

10. Give any reactions to vaccines or medical drugs.

None known

11. Give the names of any homoepathic medicines you have taken, and their results.

I've only taken homeopathic medicines for cold and flu symptoms in the past: pusatilla, bella donna, and mercurius, alternating the three daily as per the instructions of a pharmacist. They work a dream - I take them religiously when I feel a cold coming on.

I hope that's helpful! Thanks again!
--a
 
activiste last decade
Ok lastly answer these questions if you can.

As well as this, please describe any traumatic incidents that have taken place in your life. Discuss anything that has had a lasting impact on you mentally, emotionally or physically.

Discuss the way that you manage or deal with your problems, or any problems that occur in your life.

Discuss any patterns you have noticed in your behavior especially concerning your disease.

Discuss any part of your life where you feel stuck or unable to change and grow, especially where this occurred around the beginning of your disease, or as the disease evolved.

Describe your childhood and the kind of environment you grew up in, with reference to your relationships with your family, your school experiences, and any serious childhood diseases.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Oh, my...OK.

Traumatic incidents: I grew up in a reasonably abusive home, so there were quite a few in the first 13 years of my life. My parents divorced at that point and both remarried within a year and have remained married to those partners since. My first serious partner I met in the Philippines and when I left, our relationship was forced to end. My current partner is European and 2 years into our relationship his visa ran out, so we broke up for the subsequent 3 years and then got back together. I discussed my injury in 2007 - while only a couple of broken bones, it did change my life quite a bit. A dear friend committed suicide later that year as well. Lived in London for 5 years and was quite miserable there, would even say deeply depressed quite a lot of the time.

Managing problems: As discussed, I can be a bit dramatic, but I give myself permission to feel. As a younger person I wrote a lot, and later played music. I stopped writing while I studied and while I was in London, but have since picked it up as a full-time freelance career, although baby steps! Mostly writing academic stuff now, but trying to keep up a blog and my journal. I talk when it feels right, to the right people, but I don't like to linger on my past, and don't think my experiences have been any more traumatic than the average person's.

Behavior patterns: When I'm feeling very down, one of my worst attributes is to allocate blame to my loved ones - generally my partner - but I'm very aware of it and am improving. I am an easy crier, and cry when very angry or frustrated as well as sad. This has been going on for so long that I'm not sure I can even distinguish patterns in my behavior related directly to it.

Where I feel stuck: I come from a family prone to obesity, and struggle with my weight, although I think overall I'm better off than my meat-eating family! But that's been an issue for a while, and there have been periods in my life when I ate for comfort. At present, though, that isn't an issue, as for more than a year I've had a pretty healthy relationship with food and exercise. I suppose that having gas doesn't make me feel light and healthy, but that's the only correlation I can think of.

Childhood: As above, until 13 grew up in a violent and abusive home, had a difficult relationship with one brother which has recently improved. Have lived quite far from family most of my adult life in large part because of our tendency to experience dysfunction in our relationships. Early school was very difficult as I was bullied, but high school was excellent and am still quite close to many of the people I met there. No serious childhood diseases - had pnemonia at 10 and a staff infection in my knee at 16 for which I was hospitalized.

Whew. Ok...hope that helps.
--a
 
activiste last decade
Hi,

Sorry - something else I thought might be really important to why I'm feeling like this, although I want to be clear that this happens quite regularly, regardless of any circumstances I've been able to identify: I've been living in a very hot and humid country for the last year. In late September I went to the Pacific Northwest for a couple of weeks, which was very cold in comparison, during which time my digestion seemed fine. I returned to the hot country (about 30degrees centigrade, 90-100% humidity) thereafter for one week, and am now living in continental Europe, where the weather is cold and wet right now, but there are distinct seasons throughout the year.

My partner thinks the many changes in time, diet, and weather might be contributing.
--a
 
activiste last decade
Two more things...sorry if this is ridiculous. One is that for about 6 months I was practicing Ashtanga yoga (on my own, from home) in the hot and humid country in which I lived, about 2-5 times per week, and sometimes every day. Then between late September and late October I was unable to do any exercise, but since end of October have started jogging...only a bit as I've not gone running or jogging for about a year and am building back up, but won't likely be able to do yoga for a while just logistically. So that's been another change.
--a
 
activiste last decade
Hello there,

Just wondering if you were still able to help me with this? Sorry to pester you...just wondered as I'd like to re-post if not, but would really like to work with a single practitioner for the sake of continuity.

--a
 
activiste last decade
Sorry missed your post - I will get to work on this today. Lot of posts here I get involved in so I can lose sight of one at times.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Describe more on the following words, concepts, expressions. What is it, what does it feel like, what is an example of it, what effect it has on you etc.

Crushed (I am particularly interested in this one, can you give me images for the concept of 'crushed')

Near-perfect

Co-dependent

Struggle to feel hungry

Obligated to eat

Excessively empathetic

Conflict

Allocate blame

Light


Also can you tell me more about how the following events affected you, how you feel you reacted to them, how they might still be affecting you (if at all):

Abusive home

Friend committing suicide

Living in London

Difficult relationship with brother

Bullied
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Firstly, please don't worry - I know you must be swamped and don't want to convey that I'm not incredibly appreciative of this service.

As to your questions:

Crushed - I feel ashamed and embarrassed...and completely powerless against the affliction.

Near-perfect - I shy away from thinking anything's perfect...for me a healthy relationship is by definition a continuing work in progress which both parties are fully committed to...we are very communicative, affectionate, and honest. There is mutual attraction and respect. There have been more difficult times, but we've worked through those. This is by far the healthiest relationship - romantic or otherwise - I've ever been in.

Co-dependent - I used to really crave company...at times foundnd time alone to be overwhelming, but that's changing as I get older. Some of my negative habits - such as previously discussed allocating blame on others for my bad fortune - I think might be attached to a deeper notion that my well being is dependent upon others' behaviors toward me. But as I say, I've grown up quite a lot and this isn't so much of an issue.

Struggle to feel hungry - just that when this is really bothering me I can't find my appetite. I exert a reasonable amount of physical energy every day and lots of mental energy, and as a vegan I need my nutrients to make that effective, but, particularly when I wrote this a few days ago, I wasn't feeling hungry at mealtimes. I don't, by the way, snack between meals.

Obligated to eat - We're staying with my in-laws for a bit, and it's a French family...food is very important in this family/culture, and while I speak a bit of French, I do struggle a bit to communicate...also don't want to have to explain all the gory details!

Excessively empathetic - At times I've felt overcome by others' suffering...have worked with people in bad situations for several years now, though, so have come to terms with that part of myself and have learned to set my boundaries. But a for-instance could be that, when I've worked with a schizophrenic young person experiencing a mental health breakdown, my dreams became quite surreal (can't remember specifics anymore) for a time. Other times it's just been almost like feeling the pain I see someone feeling, even physical. Again, I've gotten better with this.

Conflict - I get quite uncomfortable with shouting and anger. Sometimes my partner hits an inanimate object he hit his foot or head upon, and I feel a jolt of fear. I think this has to do with my father, who was quite abusive and a bit of a loose cannon.

Allocate blame - when I feel overwhelmed by grief, stress, anxiety, etc, I have on occasion found reason to be angry with someone else, particularly my partner. After the fact, I can usually see how I allowed that negative emotion to project, and it's pretty awful to come to terms with, but there it is. Getting better on this one, too, I think.

Light - in the sense of 'light and healthy,' presumably? Meaning that my ideal self is physically fit, eating well, living well, unburdened emotionally, spiritually or physically (although I realize this is impossible given the way life works - just a goal I work toward knowing the closer I am, the better I feel).

Abusive home - Well, not nice for anybody, eh? But of course lots of people have been through it and many more have dealt with far worse things than I have. I think a lot of the stuff I've already mentioned in this particular post to the thread explains how it might affect me in my life now, but for the most part I think I've come to terms with where the abuse originated and how it manifested, I've forgiven everybody (me included) and accepted that there was always love there, just that we didn't always know what to do with it. ;)

Friend committing suicide - Oh, well, I lived too far from him at the time to have any chance to know what was going on, and I guess I rue that, but things are as they are, aren't they? It was drug-related...sometimes bad things happen and we just have to accept that.

Living in London - was very hard for me...have done quite a bit of thinking on that lately...I wasn't aware of the amount of stress I would feel, and once I got there I never really had the chance to take stock. City life didn't suit me, nor did the weather...I had the aforementioned injury there, and then took ages to really recover (basically up until I saw an osteopath just over a year ago), so fell into really bad physical condition. For this I've just tried to take stock of where I really went wrong - no creative outlets, ate poorly at times, drank too much/too often, took too much on at work, hid from poor weather rather than learning how to live with it...so hoping not to make the same mistakes in future.

Difficult relationship with brother - well, truth be told, all the relationships in my family could be described as difficult, but that one has been particularly tricky. We're very different and have had very different life experiences, right alongside eachother, and in all honesty I've had the much easier go of it. But I think we've found a very good space in our relationship, with just enough disclosure and communication, and I know he loves me a lot.

Bullied - Sigh...well, luckily I had an excellent high school experience, but for the first 9 years of my education I was the tallest, fattest kid pretty much in the whole school. I had a massive gap in my teeth and consequently a terrible lisp. I cry easily - always have - and that does not bode well for a giant lisper ;) Plus a wonderful teacher with pretty poor judgement singled me out for being pretty smart at 6 years old and that won me exactly no good will from my classmates. Changing schools was a lifesaver, and I'm not really left with any bad feelings toward my old schoolmates - just a bit of sadness for the kid I was...life was a bit stressful just generally and I'd love to be able to tell me then that it'd get better soon ;)

Hope we're getting close...this is a bit tough.
--a
 
activiste last decade
Ok slight misunderstanding.

With any expression I ask about, and certainly about 'Crushed' I don't want you to repeat why you used it, but I want you to define the word - what is it like to be crushed, what does crushed mean, what are other words for crushed.

When other people feel embarassment (a common human feeling) they do not experience 'crushed' yet you do. Can you expand on this peculiar word.

It is important to change the way you present your information here. When I ask about a term or concept or expression, I am not asking for you to repeat the story. That usually will not help me find a remedy. I am wanting to know what the experience of it is like, what it feels like, what sensation it creates in you and in your life.

The story does not help me much at all. We try to move beyond facts to pure experience, to the peculiar individual's response to any external event.

For example, a particular remedy may experience being 'ripped apart' in any situation, so this is the experience that defines the remedy not what situation causes it. So in asking 'what is the experience of being ripped apart' I am not wanting to know that going to work and hearing your boss criticize your work makes you feel bad, I am just wanting to know what is meant by 'ripped apart'. This is the strange thing that is unique to the individual, and this matches the remedy state.
[message edited by brisbanehomoeopath on Tue, 08 Nov 2011 23:46:29 GMT]
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Just to further explain how this works, our understanding is people live at three basic levels.

One is the common purely external level, where we all live. This never helps us find a remedy. This is the pure rational (realistic) level.

The second is the purely human one, where our thoughts and feelings lie. This may help us find a remedy although it is less precise and more open to interpetation and error. This is still a fairly rational level.

The third level is the most irrational one, the level of the remedy itself. Here can be found the strangest expressions and symptoms, which relate directly to the substance. It is what we call non-human specific, and is often the hardest level to map out. It is however very accurate when done properly. This is the level I always try to access.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
OK - this is all quite new for me (as I'm sure you've gathered), so thanks for your patience.

Crushed - powerless/disempowered, humiliated, belittled

Co-dependent - needy, inadequate, lonely

struggle to feel hungry - weighed down, out-of-sync with my rhythm, and with daily nutritional habits

obligated to eat - need to please those I care about, not to raise a fuss

excessively empathetic - varies massively, from physical/emotional pain to pleasure or elation at another's good will

conflict - stress, anxiety, powerlessness, the need to pacify

allocate blame - inability to shoulder stress/anxiety (not responsibility...that I can handle), so project this emotion onto unrelated issues

light - positive, healthy, energized and fulfilled.

I think, as per your previous post, that I've given ample expamples and explanation of the effect on me, no? I hope that expands on what it feels like a bit better.

As to the events you listed - all of them affected me in three ways - I suffered, either emotional, physical, or spiritual pain; I recovered; I grew and learned. I feel I reacted in only the way I could given my circumstances and experience at the time, and I think all things considered I have no true regrets. They only continue to affect me insofar as I catch myself with a bad habit as a result of these experiences, or I consciously try to address something within myself because of what I've learned from them.

Hope that's more helpful.
--a
 
activiste last decade
Most of those are expressed at that second level. I was hoping Crushed, being a non-human specific word might access the deeper level but it brought you back up to the second level again.

Can you tell me what fears you have? Anything that would be considered a phobia?

What was city life in London like?

How were you and your brother different?

It appears to me that your strategy for managing your problems is to accept things, to resign yourself to them if they cannot be changed. Does that sound right?

Is there anywhere you feel you stuck in your life?

Describe a jolt of fear.

What problems generally do you have with communication?

What issues have you had with friends or friendships?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I'm sorry - I am trying! Thanks for being patient with me.

Growing up I had a pronounced phobia of insects. At one point when I was 18 or so, my father showed me a scar on my arm and explained that I'd been stung by a horsefly at the age of 2, and he suspected that was the origin of my phobia. Up to that point I'd been a bit too ashamed to admit the extent of the fear, which was paralyzing. Thereafter it subsided, although some flying insects still put me in a state. Otherwise, I think most of my fears are more or less rational.

City life in London was fast and cold - both figuratively and literally. I had no friends to begin with, and I found people to be distant and felt contstantly judged. I felt moronic because I would have panic attacks trying to make sense out of the transport system that all of my partners friends knew so well so quickly. Everything seemed to go wrong 3 or 4 times before it went right. Work felt more about saying the right thing to the right superior rather than just doing a good job. There were times I stood waiting at the bus stop to go to work and it took every ounce of energy I could mmuster not to break down and give up, right there on the spot. I was often afraid of having an emotional breakdown. But that wasn't constant, and I think it was in fact largely pms-related. I had a coil for a while, and once I had that removed, my pms symptoms eased significantly.

My brother...is in the military...copes with his struggles quite literally by lying - fabricating stories, feigning strength, etc - where I find salvation in the truth (not religiously, you understand)...is very often blindly patriotic, while I am very much not...is blindly capitalist while I am very much not...would never consider eating more healthfully for himself, the environment, or the lives his diet affects, while I am vegan for all those reasons. Just to name a few.

I've always loved that prayer, 'God Grant me the Serenity' - yes, I suppose I do accept the things I can't change, but I also work dilligently to improve the things I can (most of the time), and have worked for many years advocating for others to do so as well. I just don't find logic in wasting time trying to work on things which are as they are - better to address what I truly have power over, and accept what I don't.

I don't think I feel particularly stuck with anything, except maybe health issues - this one in particular.

A jolt of fear - like electricity, like a shock going into my head and hands...my heart stops for a second...when I'm really afraid my hand flies to my chest unconciously. I'm prone to flinching, and to bursting out in tears thereafter if it's intense enough.

My ego sometimes gets in the way of my communication: I talk too much, I think because this is a means of protecting myself; I don't listen as well as I should; I get very frustrated and sometimes offended when I don't feel heard.

With friends or friendships...although I have some incredible relationships that have lasted most of my life, I have had falling-outs...the circumstances have been different each time...at the risk of sounding vague, I think the common cause has been that expectations have not been met, either by me or by the friend, either by a behavior that goes against what I or they have stood for, or by a lack of investment on my part or theirs that signaled less commitment to the relationship to them or to me...I hope that makes sense.

OK - Let me know if any confusion.

--a
 
activiste last decade
What fears do you have though apart from the insect one? By definition no fear is rational, although it might be considered understandable in a particular situation. What are these rational fears?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
OK...um...fear of loved ones dying tragically, fear of injury - particularly since I broke my leg so badly, I have gotten literally stuck when hiking and I become afraid of falling, slipping, etc - fear of rejection or judgement, fear that the rejection/judgement would be deserved, fear of being left, fear of being lied to or made a fool of, fear of failure.
 
activiste last decade
Those are a lot of fears, and they will help me to understand your specific sensitivities to events and influences in the world.

Expand a bit more on them.

Loved ones dying

Injury

Falling

Rejection

Judgement

Being left

Being lied to

Made a fool of

Failure
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Loved ones dying - dunno, just something I've worried about since childhood, mom and dad in a car accident...that sort of thing. From time to time I feel fear - which I think is quite normal - that someone I love will suddenly die.

Injury - Since I broke my leg, I have pretty poor balance whenever the potential of falling/slipping exists, particularly in nature. On a couple of occasions I've frozen during hikes out of fear that I would fall.

Falling - as above, it's mostly about losing my balance or footing.

Rejection - I call it 'Willy Lowman syndrome'...dunno if you've read Death of a Salesman...just that I think I want too much to be liked...that if a person doesn't like me I've somehow failed. I can be a little paranoid sometimes about that.

Judgement - as above...I worry about what others think of me because I fear rejection...this ties in directly with the fear of being made a fool of...fear of humiliation - that if others see me rejected or judged they will follow suit. Likely from my not-so-great peer group experiences as a child.

Being left - that those I love will stop loving me, will want me out of their lives.

Being lied to - closely tied to being left, because when people don't trust me or my behaviors enough to be honest, I feel like they've already left.

Failure - based largely on others' perceptions of me (geez, I'm pretty hung up, innit?)...afraid of being seen to fail, I guess - tied to being humiliated.

--a
[message edited by activiste on Wed, 09 Nov 2011 22:32:41 GMT]
 
activiste last decade
Ok the remedy I think you should start with is Phosphorous. I would start with 200c.



INSTRUCTONS FOR SPLIT DOSING

Firstly, you need to create a separate dosing bottle. Get a bottle with a dropper, 15-30mls in size, and fill it with a mixture of water and alcohol (5 parts to 1 part). Dissolve 2 granules or 2 drops of the medicine you bought from the pharmacy into this mixture. Your doses will be made from this bottle.

Hit the bottle firmly against the palm of your hand, or another elastic surface like a book. It should be a firm hit not a tap. 2 hits is enough to begin with, and should not be increased unless it is clear that it is needed. The water in this bottle will 'remember' the number of times you have hit it, so that subsequent doses will be stronger (necessary to overcoming the resistance of your disease).

Place 1 drop into an amount of water - start with 1/2 a cup (125mls). Stir thoroughly and take 1 teaspoon into the mouth. Throw the rest of the cup away.

This is one dose. Repeat doses would be started from the 2 hits on the bottle.

Each step of this process can be adjusted to reduced aggravation or to increase the effect of the medicine. In order to be able to do this, it is important to measure each step (count the hits, the drops, measure the water etc).

Take one dose only and report after 3-4 days the initial reaction.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
OK - thanks for this...by 'alcohol' do you mean like rubbing alcohol? And does 200c refer to the dosage of the Phosphorous?

Sorry if these questions are ridiculous...as previously mentioned, I'm quite new to this.

Also, I won't be able to get to the pharmacy until Saturday, so should have an update to you by Wednesday or so.

Thanks again,
--a
 
activiste last decade
I use brandy or vodka, but any spirit will do as long as it is mixed with something like cream or milk. If you use medicinal alcohol, make sure it is Ethanol alcohol.

200c is the potency I want you to get. It is not exactly a 'strength' but a pharmacy assistant might call it that.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
OK - and promise to stop pestering you - but you had mentioned that the mixture should be 5 parts water to 1 part alcohol...where does the cream/milk come in? and is soy milk ok?
--a
 
activiste last decade

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