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The ABC Homeopathy Forum

Attn: Evocationer #2

Thank you for your continued help with my family. I posted an update about my daughter here: http://www.abchomeopathy.com/forum2.php/440327/

The following is with respect to my 4 year-old son. Thank you for your time and input.

Describe each complaint/associated set of symptoms in detail. Please include the following when doing this:

1. Appearance
2. Sensation or pain
3. Situations/events/triggers for making it worse
4. Situations/events/triggers for making it better
5. Event that seemed to start the complaint
6. Other sensory features – smell, sound, taste, tactile etc

Make sure each complaint is done separately. Do not group them together.

Complaint: large puffy bags under eyes. Sometimes coupled with redness. He has had this since infancy. Very large, noticeable, bags under his eyes to the extent that adults have commented on them several times and they make his face look odd (I think). They redden when he is tired or sick and probably with other associations that I have not made. They are less red at times, but still ever-present. Emotional state when complaint active: active at all times.

Resistance to sleep: He has refused to nap ever since learning that he could climb out of his crib about 6 months ago. He resists bedtime and sometimes will just not go to bed for anything. He will sometimes resist/refuse every step of the bedtime ritual (wash, brush, toilet, pajamas, story, bed with me resting on the floor next to his bed for a while) and then a hour later get upset that I won’t help him with these steps (he only wants me to do them, not his father). Other times we will make it through the steps in the routine with greater or lesser struggle but then as soon as he gets into his bed he pops right out saying that he can’t sleep and then he won’t stay in his room and he follows me around the house until far past his bedtime. He does not like his room. He gets scared. We have no way of keeping him in his room or bed against his will and it is very frustrating for us as parents when he just won’t go to bed. He does not get enough sleep due to lack of naps, combined with late bedtime (due to dad’s work schedule) and bedtime refusals. Worse when our schedule is disrupted for some reason and bedtime gets pushed back. Worse when his siblings are escalated. Emotional state when complaint active: distressed, angry, anxious, panicked.

Resistance to structure: he does not like structured activities and he does not like following instructions/directions or group structure/routines (as in a classroom or structured activity for children). He will refuse to participate as expected, be resistant, belligerent, rudely outspoken, or physically aggressive (will try to hit). He is avoidant of activities that involve demands of him/structure such as school or appointments. He says that he will never go to school and says that I should never take him back to (feeding therapy, chiropractor, school, or whatever is the situation that he wishes to avoid). Worse when he feels uncomfortable/unfamiliar in the setting. Better when he connects with a comfortable peer and can engage in familiar activities. Emotional state when complaint active: anxious, angry, belligerent, resistant.

Feeding delays-he has has problems with eating since I tried to introduce solid foods to him as an infant (at about 8-9 months). He didn’t seem to know what to do with the food purees. He would just cup his tongue and hold the food there crying as though he could not figure out how to make it go away. I thought perhaps he just wasn’t ready to eat and continued to just nurse him but when he was 10 months old I was diagnosed with (malignant tumor illness that I cannot mention here) and I needed to wean him. We kept trying with food purees be he would gag, cry, it was awful. When he was around 1 year old he started to receive feeding therapy twice/week where it was determined that he had oral sensory sensitivities as well as oral motor delays (e.g. he wouldn’t use his tongue to create gather the food into a food “bolus” or to move the food to the sides of his mouth to chew or to the back of his mouth to swallow, etc). He continued for 2 years and made some progress (although was still significantly limited in the variety of foods and quantity that he would/could eat) but he then turned 3 and aged out of the state services that were providing therapies and my husband was unemployed at the time so we had no insurance coverage to continue therapy. He regressed in his eating over time and his diet became more restricted. We reintroduced feeding therapy once/week when we had insurance coverage again but by then he was engaging in more resistant behaviors in general and was more wary/resistant during therapy and after about 10 months and 2 therapists with little to no progress we recently suspended therapy because he just refuses to go and getting him there is a battle and I never know how much he will resist/cooperate once there it just made little sense to continue it right now given the lack of progress. Emotional state when complaint active: anxious, panicked, fearful.

Sensory sensitivities-associated with the feeding delays he has oral sensory sensitivities to various textures, and tastes (prefers sweet and salty, and likes crunchy foods most) . He has also more recently developed olfactory sensitivities to food smells (does not like to be near the table when anyone is eating citrus, melons, peas, etc). Likewise, he does not like to touch/be near most foods that he does not like (e.g. he won’t touch fruits or vegetables even when he is not expected to eat them; he does not want them near him in the grocery cart) and he is sensitive to the visual appearance of his food-almost everything that he eats is beige or pale yellow in color. He eats almost nothing that is colorful in any way. Emotional state when complaint active: anxious, disgusted, panicked, fearful.


hypersensitivity to criticism/rejection-he gets very upset/holds grudges when he is corrected or reprimanded in most any way by any one. He will remember these incidents for a long while and continue to bring up the incidents in which he felt that he was wrongly treated/directed/criticized. He especially seems to hold grudges as it relates to interactions with other children and he will be mean to them for a long time as a result (e.g. a peer corrected his behavior in school and my son did not like it and felt that the behavior being corrected was misunderstood and was not wrong, which may or may not have been the case, I do not know. My son responded by calling the other child names like meanie and generally being unkind. He was encouraged by teachers to apologize, which I think he did half-heartedly, and to draw an apology picture for the other child. My son initially refused but then later, I think even 1-2 days later, drew a picture for the boy but added that he used all of the colors that the other boy liked least so that he wouldn’t like the picture). My son still occasionally brings up the boy (5 months later) and will always add that the boy corrected him and why thing was wrong to do. Emotional state when complaint active: angry.


anxiety-I think that many or his intense reactions are the result of anxiety that is being called up at the wrong time and expressed as anger. He has shown some possible OCD-type compulsions and rigidity e.g., needing things to be done a certain way or “it won’t be right” “my day will be ruined” or some illogical consequence will result. For example sometimes he will refuse to get dressed in the morning and even once dressed will continue to carry on, will remove his clothes, and will run around holding his pajamas demanding us to put them back on him or his day will be ruined....he screamed for 30 minutes in the car after picking his sister up from school because she didn’t say the (unknown, imaginary) password upon entering the car and he kept insisting that we would be unsafe on the drive home and his car door might fall off at any minute while we were driving because she hadn’t said the password. He kept insisting that we needed to go back to the school and re-enact the pickup with her saying the password before entering the car or this horrible consequence would result. Emotional state when complaint active: anxious, panicked, fearful.


Obsession with electronics/buttons-since he could move he has been drawn to anything with buttons. For his first 3.5 years we didn’t have any electronic toys in the home, no computer use for the children, and tv only one evening/week and the children’s school was media/electronic free. He still would try to climb to get to my computer, dig through my bag for my phone, go like a moth to a flame if one of his therapists brought an ipad to the house, etc. He could never get enough of buttons or screens. He is very facile with them and now that we have lifted the ban on media at home out of desperation, he wants to be on screens all of the time and would select them above anything else unless forced. I have to hide my phone from him, we password protect certain computers or have timers on other computers to limit use. Worse when in a situation where he has limited other things to do (during appointments for his siblings, meetings the I need to attend for his sister, etc.) or where he has been given screen access in the past and thus has an expectation to have them. Emotional state when complaint active: driven, determined, insistent. Will sulk, fight, or otherwise act out if denied desired access.

Mom focused/separation anxiety: He is very attached to me these days, even though when we are home together he prefers screens to playing with me (when we had no screens at home he used to ALWAYS be asking me to play and I almost never had time because I was always occupied cooking, cleaning, working on a home improvement project to prepare the house to sell, on calls with professionals about his older sister, etc. now he never asks or wants to play). He gets angry if I ever leave the house without him (“Mom, you should never ever leave me.” “Mom, you should never go without me.”) and he makes it clear that he does not want to go anywhere without me (e.g. school, a class, etc). He only wants me to do routine things like clothing changes, baths, teeth brushing, stories before bed etc, although he is a bit more flexible about this during the day vs. night but not always. Sometimes he will even insist that I do minor things (e.g. fill his cup of water, get a napkin) even when others are more immediately available and offer to help or he can do it himself (“No, I want Mom to do it. Only Mom.”) If I refuse to do things or leave the house when he doesn’t want me to he will tantrum. If I leave the house he will run out after me. This makes it impossible for me to drive away because I worry about hitting him because he would run toward the moving car. Emotional state when complaint active: varies-at times anxious, panicked, fearful; at other times-belligerent, irrational.


MENTAL STATE OF THE CHILD (IMPORTANT)

1. When the physical complaint is active, what is his/her emotional state like? What does he/she do? What does she/he want you to do?

2. Does he/she describe any unusual sensation or pain in the body, especially when they are complaining of something? I do not think so, but when he gets upset, he has a habit of covering his right ear with his hand/arm and shrieking/screaming loudly.

What fears does he/she have? How does she/he react? Fear of the dark, fear of food, fear? (resistance) to being left without mom at school or the like. Fear of being in his bedroom alone at night. Fear of being perceived as inadequate (I think). Fear of rejection. Fear of growing up and of dying. Asks about what foods he can eat and not grow because he does not want to get bigger or grow up. Has talked a fair amount about death and dying. On one occasion when he was around 3 we were talking about my grandmother who had passed and how she now lives in our hearts and in our memories and several days later out of nowhere he said that he does not want to live in hearts and memories and he does not want to get old. He has referenced her many times, always reminding me that he does not want to get old or die.

Was there any incident in the past that had a great impact? What happened at the time? Is there any ongoing reaction to this event? How does he/she talk about it? I think that the defect to his hand/surgery on his thumb had an impact. He is too young to process/communicate much but lately he has been noticing his scar and talking about it with me. He got very upset when I told him that the scar was a part of his body now and would not go away. On several occasions he has tearfully and angrily said that a scar is part of an injury and NOT part of a body and it has to go away. He hates his scar.

I also think that he has been greatly impacted by his dad starting a new job about a year ago. My son was always more inclined to want daddy when he woke at night or to spend time with when he was little. He was very much “Daddy’s boy.” When my son was born his father’s job allowed him to work from home 3-4 days/week most weeks and work from an office 1-2 days/week and then he would travel about 30% of the time. Accordingly, my son was very used to having his dad around and would sit on my husband’s lap while he worked, my husband would put my son down for his nap, or have lunch with us, or generally have a strong presence in the home. Two years ago my husband lost his job and was unemployed for a year, during which he was home most of the time. A year ago he started a new job and this job is office-based with travel so he leaves the house around 8-8:30 each morning and does not return home until around 7pm and then he travels for 3-5 day stretches roughly once/month. My son sees him much less and has done a turnaround with parental preference. Now he ONLY wants me to put hime to bed, comfort him when upset, be with him (he gets upset when I leave the house), etc. He tells his dad that he does not love him, that he only wants/likes mom, etc. I think that my son felt very rejected by my husband’s (to him “sudden”) lack of presence in the home.

Likewise, at times when I am pushed to my absolute limit at home, I will talk about wanting to leave and how difficult it is for me to be her and want to stay when it is complete chaos and nobody listens and they just escalate and I am a person with limits who cannot live this way. Sometimes I will just say that I need to take a break/leave and will try to leave to clear my head (with my husband home with the kids). I know that this terrifies my son and he has taken to heart the idea that mommy may leave and never come back. I do not think that I will actually do this, but it is a fantasy that plays in my head entirely too often and I am sure that he picks up on this energy. He will sometimes just burst into tears when I say something about leaving, and he talks about me breaking his heart.

5. Is there any story (book, fairytale, cartoon, movie etc) that seems to really resonate with her/him? What does he/she say about it? He really likes cartoons and stories that are about superheroes/rescuers. He likes the idea of missions/emergencies and needing to rescue others. He talks about flying or being able to magically travel into storybooks. He does not understand the distinction between fantasy and reality and will sometimes become upset that we cannot translate his fantasy into reality (e.g., he currently wants me to build/find him a magic tree that will open up and allow us to go inside and be transported into a storybook).

6. What kind of fantasies does she/he describe to you? How does this translate down into play, games, toys? Does he/she tend to draw particular things over and over? If so what are they? If you point to these images, what does she/he say about them? As mentioned above he is excited about rescue missions, superheroes, etc. Over the past 4-5 months we have lifted our previously very tight restrictions on tv/computers and he now spends as much time as he can (which is a lot) playing child-focused computer games and watching animated shows for children. He rarely plays (I am saddened and ashamed by this, but it was an attempt at reducing the fighting among the children/allowing us the time needed to prepare our house for sale and keep it clean for showings). Prior to this he liked to do puzzles, play with cars, build with blocks, etc.

7. Does he/she describe any dreams or nightmares to you, and what are they? How does she/he react on waking from them? No

8. How is he/she when interacting with other children? What about sports or games? How about obeying rules or social conventions? He can be shy/intimidated when playing with other children and he has had limited experience with same-age peers (he attended a very small preschool classroom and was kicked out mid-year). He bonded quickly with one little girl and considered her his best friend, but a few months later some other children joined the class and as she played more with them, my son felt very rejected, sad, and displaced. He talks about friends, but doesn’t actually have any. He still talks about this little girl occasionally even though he hasn’t seen her in 5 months. He does not like to obey rules or social conventions. He was kicked out of preschool because he was disrespectful/oppositional. He did not like his teacher (I don’t know why as she was very kind) and he would be rude to her, calling her “meanie” and whatnot. He would resist participating in circle time, story time, or snack time (he only wanted to do free play and play outside), and he would talk out and be disruptive to these activities even if he was sitting alone in a chair off to the side. If other children were unkind to him (e.g., excluded him from play) or corrected him (e.g. told him that it was time to clean up) he would get angry at them, hit, say unkind things to them, etc. He would hold grudges and speak of the incidents/children for weeks afterward always communicating what the other child had done that was wrong. He was resistant to alternative explanations, e.g. You found the toy near your seat during circle time and were putting it away, but Joe thought that you were playing with it and told you that it wasn’t play time. He misunderstood. He was trying to be helpful and remind you. He wasn’t being mean, he just misunderstood.

9. How is she/he when interacting with older people? Is there any difference between family or friends and strangers in terms of reactions and behavior? He is pretty mom-focused and doesn’t interact directly with too many other adults outside of doctor appointments/therapies. He used to be cooperative with therapists (he used to have therapies 4 times/week from ages 1-3 years) but this past year he has become resistant and oppositional during therapies/appointments. He will say that he won’t go or that he will hit the adult. He has tried to strike adults to show his upset/unwillingness to participate and he will try to cover their mouths or cover his ears and scream if her does not like what they are saying (e.g., the activity or intervention that they are suggesting). I have needed to suspend chiropractic care and his feeding therapy due to his tantrums, violence, and oppositionality during appointments. I think that sometimes he is afraid that he will be hurt by the actions of the adult (the chiropractic adjustments were uncomfortable for him, he worried that his feeding therapist would make him eat foods that he didn’t like/made him uncomfortable to touch/chew/swallow) and that this anxiety triggered his fight/flight response.

10. What kind of activities does he/she enjoy doing? Which of these do she/he spend the most time at? He loves buttons and screens. If left to his own choices he would spend every waking moment on the computer, tv, or using my iPhone. When we restricted these activities (until about 5 months ago our children only got to watch tv 1 night/week and no computers) he would constantly be trying to get to my computer, take my phone from my pocket or purse, etc. It was a constant battle. When we finally just decided to abandon our restrictions, it is how he chooses to spend every possible moment. If we get him out of the house and away from screens, he enjoys playing outside, going to the park, going to the children’s museum, riding his tricycle, role playing games, simple board games, playing with puzzles/toys, etc.

11. What qualities seem to make your child different from other children? Disrespectful, oppositional, angry, fearful? (not outwardly so, but I am not sure if that is what drives his intense resistance to things). Rigid (wants things HIS way sometimes to an extreme degree as in OCD e.g., will tantrum to have his pajamas put back on because he wanted Mom to change him into his clothes and Dad did, will go on and on that something wasn’t done the RIGHT way and needs to be redone the RIGHT way). He is unusually inclined toward/adept with electronics. His puffy eye bags are distinct and noticeable. They have been there as long as I can remember (infancy at least) and professionals sometimes comment on them

12. How does your child cope with school, school work, study, deadlines, speaking in front of others, following directions etc? Preschool experience mentioned above. No other school experience.

13. What kind of questions does he/she tend to ask you or other adults? He asks about death/dying and how to keep from growing up. He asks if we can make/build things that are impossible (e.g. holes to allow him to transport magically from place to place). He asks how things work. He asks when we’re going to do (insert fun thing).

14. What makes her/him laugh? What makes him/her cry? laugh-being silly, dancing with his sisters. cry-not having things his way, worry about mom leaving (when I get 100% overwhelmed and say that I need to get away to take a break he will get panic/get heartbroken). Cries when disappointed.

15. What makes him/her angry or irritable? When his sister(s) act out, when adults impose structure, not getting things the way that he wants.

16. What does your child do when alone? Play on the computer, watch tv, look at books.

17. Is there a particular person or type of person that he/she reacts to, and what kind of reaction? He used to connect more with men, but I’m not sure if that preference is still as strong. He is resistant to adults in general at this point because the only ones with whom he interacts are in positions of authority and wanting him to do things (structure) that he doesn’t want to do.


GENERAL STATE OF YOUR CHILD

1. What position does he/she sleep in? Usually falls asleep on his left side with his hand in his shirt rubbing his nipple (he has had this nipple touching need since he was a baby. He used to grab the nipple of whomever was putting him to bed to soothe him, now we’ve shaped the behavior so that he uses his own as his comfort object). He also has a special pillow, stuffed animal, and blankets that he wants in a specific way to sleep, and a humidifier for white noise)

2. Is there any position he/she seems unable to sleep in? Not that I am aware of

3. Any unusual behavior during sleep? Sometimes restless. On rare occasion we will find that he has fallen out of bed onto the floor during the night (not a long fall from his toddler bed and he continues to sleep) or we will find that he reversed his position (head and feet) during the night. Sometimes he grinds his teeth loudly while sleeping.

4. Any problems with sleep? Had to abandon nap altogether once he learned how to climb out of crib. Very resistant to going to sleep at night. Sometimes resistant to the nighttime routine/aspects of the routing and sometimes will cooperate with routine but will immediately climb out of bed saying that he is not tired. By and large he refuses to let anyone but mom help him with bedtime, and at any point that he decides that he doesn’t want to sleep, he will just come out of his room and refuse to go back in. We have no way to lock him in his room or out of ours. If we attempt to shut the doors he will tantrum, scream at the top of his lungs, and kick the doors. This had been worsening lately no matter what we do (we’ve tried schedules, charts, mom leaving the house at bedtime, letting him choose which parent to complete each step, mom being available for a limited period of time to help after which if he refuses only dad will be available, etc.) Sometimes it can take 2+ hours from start to finish.

5. What foods are craved (cravings are strong desires) What foods are hated? He has a pretty limited diet. He cannot eat gluten, dairy, or nuts, foods listed have been modified to not contain these. He chooses not to eat many other foods. He likes “chicken fingers,” macaroni and cheese, sunflower butter sandwiches, and “toad in the hole” (egg fried in bread). He likes sweets, freeze dried mango, carbs, especially crunchy chips and crackers and will occasionally eat a few bites of a banana if it is in the desired stage of ripeness. He does not like brightly colored foods (most everything he eats is beige, brown, or pale yellow,) he does not like most any fruits or vegetables in any forms, he hates to even be in the proximity of most citrus fruits, melon, or other strongly scented produce. He won’t physically touch fruits/veggies or have them near him even when he knows that he is not expected to eat them. He will not drink water without ice and he sometimes insists that the water come from home as well. He only drinks water from one cup at home.

6. What drinks are craved? What drinks are hated? He likes herbal tea (especially chai), hot cocoa, chocolate milk, and ice water as well as white grape juice. He won’t drink anything else.

7. How does he/she react when hungry, or hunger is prolonged? For a couple years he hardly seemed attuned to the idea of hunger and I think that if I didn’t feed him he would not have noticed/indicated a need for food (this was amidst years of feeding therapy so I am not exaggerating). He now will occasionally communicate that he is hungry but usually it is because he wants sweets (e.g., I am hungry for cookies, not hungry for this turkey sandwich)

8. How does the weather affect? I have not noticed much change with weather.

9. How does the temperature affect? He will occasionally report that he is cold (uncomfortably so) but this is infrequent and usually what he is not dressed.

10. Are there any other environmental influences negative or positive (season, noise, music, moon, light, dark, day, night, time, smells etc.) He is sensitive to some smells, mostly food and other concerns (e.g. fear of dark) noted above.

11. Problems with stool or bowel habit? Some constipation perhaps, but not extreme.
Problems with urine or bladder habit? No

12. Where does he/she sweat most? Does it stain or smell unusual? Not sure. He’s not a very sweaty kid.
 
  homeopathy23 on 2014-08-18
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Just bumping this up to keep it in consciousness :)
 
homeopathy23 9 years ago
I will get to work on this today
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Thank you very much.
 
homeopathy23 9 years ago
Seems I lost track of this one. I will start on it right now.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
This is a remarkable case. One of the most complicated child cases I think I have ever seen. The level of development of the mental state goes far beyond what I would expect in a 4 year old. It looks like a an adult's case.

There are a plethora of symptoms. Simply trying to add them all up to find a remedy is an exercise in frustration - they lead in many directions.

I tried to focus my search through what I felt was a very peculiar part of the case. I restricted my analysis to those remedies found in the rubric:

Hatred of persons who have offended them

This narrowed the search down to 27 remedies. I then further refined the search with these rubrics:

Obstinate
Disobedient
Striking
Violent
Fear something terrible/horrible will happen
Dictatorial
Fear of death
Fear of the dark
Fear of being alone

This draws my attention to:

Calc carb
Medorrhinum
Mercurius
Nitric acid
Nux vomica
Sepia
Sulphur

Of those remedies, I would seriously consider Medorrhinum, Mercurious, and Nitric acid

I could argue the case for all three of them one way or another, but I think there is a single rubric that really gathers together a large and peculiar part of the case (especially for a 4 year old)

Hatred of persons who offend, unmoved by apologies

This is only Nitric acid. So I think I would like to start with Nit-ac 200c. Can you obtain the remedy in oral liquid form?
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Thank you for your talent, time, and attention. I can obtain the nitric acid 200c in liquid form. It will involve me placing an order at which time I will also get the Ignatia 200c for my oldest.

At the risk of pressing my luck, I am also going to post about my middle child or a separate thread (hopefully today) to get your recommendation for her and I will place the order for the remedies for all three at once (because the company requires a hefty minimum order).

I will add that it feels at least mildly validating to get third party agreement that my children are more complex than average and that I am not just a terribly inept at responding to the human condition as it relates to parenting.

Thank you!
 
homeopathy23 9 years ago
Well so far they have been very interesting cases, unusual ones. I imagine anyone would have trouble dealing with them :) I wonder why they are so complex?

Feel free to make a thread for your last child - I am actually looking forward to seeing what her situation is!
 
Evocationer 9 years ago

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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.