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Lies, lies, lies...

Lies, lies lies

Many times I have written about stress and the result it has on our body and, today I write something about lies.

Lies, lies…
We want to see good and hear good but still keep attracting the opposite with our fears. To save ourselves from accusations and punishment, we make our situation seem more pleasant than it really is. This is lying to urselves. There are small lies, bigger lies and huge lies and they have a habit of snowballing.

In today’s world, you meet lies on every step. Lying has become a lifestyle.

The better one gets at it, the less he is willing to admit his mistakes. If in the beginning, he saw what he was doing as just telling a little whire lie now and then to make life easier for everybody then, as life goes on, the habit grows on him until one day, it has become a way of living to him. By the way, such a person is highly judgmental in his opinions on others.

Let’s take an example. A person clearly sees that the other is making a mistake but cannot bring himself to say it to his face, even if the other is asking for his advice. There is nothing good he can say and as for criticsm – he doesn’t want to, that is, doesn’t dare to say a word. And so he, the nice person he is is, tells his friend to seek advice of a third, a wise and experienced man who will surely help him. The third person, caught off guard, will ussually say what he thinks without giving it much thought. In reality, his bluntness was subconciously provoked by the second person’s unwillingness to deal with an unpleasant situation and handing it on to him. As a result, the both first and second feel miserable, “What a terrible person this third is!”

The first person will then arrange a meeting with the third to ease his guilty consience, “He had it coming! He was acting so stupid that somebody just had to tell him the truth!” The first person doesn’t understand that with his wish to be the nice guy and never hurt anybody, he has caused a lot of harm. The second was being just a student of life, suffering for his lack of knowledge.

The truth is hard to hear. The fear of facing the truth makes people lie. This fear often causes us to lie to ourselves, blinding our eyes to our own insincirity and cheap theatrics. Animals and “primitive” people (very young children) immediately see through this kind of play-acting whereas the so-called intelligent people are easily deceived by it.

When ill people come to me and telling me – that all is fine in their life and there is no fear nor guilt, even as I can see behind their curtain, the unwillingness to admit, will continue their suffering.

The patient, however, is disappointed and will be disappointed even further at home when his/her fears angers and guilty feelings awake and demand to be set free. He/she will see the extend to which he/she must change their attitudes at home. As to his/her relationship with others – he/she will understand the he/she had been feeling bad for his/her own sake for a long time. It will be hard to admit, though, as he/she has always thought of himself/herself as a good person. It is much easier to tell the thruth to someone negative but pointing out the mistake of a person who considers himself the epitome of human virtue in a way that wouldn’t make him shut out what you are saying is really a form of art.

This is what I was thinking to myself but the patient still goes on and on. The patient can talk all right but the patient can’t think nor listen. The patient is moaning about the lack of money – at the same time the patient is making himself more sick to waste yet more money on expensive drugs only to fall into yet bigger finacial difficulties. And I have to be the one to tell her all that. Dear God have mercy!

Cocealing the truth for whatever reason – even for protecting someone else or in fear of causing suffering – is the same as telling a lie.

Treating a foreign patient once, I discovered the cause of his illness in a conflict that happenned 20 years ago. I was naïve enough to tell him out front what I had found out, forgetting that he might have a diiferent view on sincirity than myself. He practically blew sky high with rage, “How dare you! I have told nobody, not even my family of this incident and you have the audacity to imagine that I would discuss it with you!” To be honest, the code of honour of the business world sometimes baffles me.

I was ashamed, but only for the fact that I had to keep the rest of it to myself and comfort him with the lie that his health would probably get better now. I was ashamed before God.

It is a common misconception that a grown-up lie is somehow different from a child’s lie. Grown-ups understand that children are following them with eyes that see right throught them and their lies. The very moment a parent is telling a lie, his child is learning from him how to do it. If Mother or Father is lying, the child will figure, I’d better learn to be like them – maybe they’ll love me more then. Like parent, like child. If you don’t agree then remember that thought’s are action’s too. A seemingly honest man, who has never stolen a thing in his life because he was too scared to do it, often has regrets in his heart for being such a loser. By sending out signals like that, he is forming the child’s behavior. The child has come to this life to learn how to bring thought into reality.

The more liars there are on Earth, the more extremely truthful people there has to be. But extremes are always dangerous.

If parents bring up their child never to suspect that there are things like lying and cheating in this world then they are bringing up a person who is honest to the fault. Such a young man or woman is bound to get hurt in life – so hurt in fact that he may never get over it. He may feel that he cannot trust anubody, including his own mother and father for they were the ones who brought him up to be so inexperienced. His parents have hated lies and suffered from them. In protest of all evil in life, they had decided that their child will never have to know that lies exist. The child is brought up to see only the sunny side of life. However, in his spirit and soul, a child like that will carry his parents’ hatred and fear for lies, attracting the experience of lying and cheating to himself at the first opportunity.

This was the effct of his parents’ lie – the lie of honest people who failed to teach their child that there is no light without shadows. They didn’t know that lies and truth are the two sides of life.

Only a child who knows the laws of life and how to put them to use, can be wise, strong, healthy and succelfull.

Do you love liars?
No?
Then you must hate or be afraid of them. Anger for lies is also anger felt for liars, dishonesty, stealing, cheating in business and life, bribery, for all dirty and secretive deeds. But it is also the anger for not daring to speak your mind, for concealing the truth, for the little white lies you tell. Anger for humiliation may also attract a thief if you – the wise man you are – let yourself be humiliated by a stupid burglar getting the better of you.

The more you process a thought the more you see that each thought can give as much as 10 to 100 new connections. To your big surprise you find out that your anger for lies is in reality your anger for yourself. You have kept your mouth shut where you should have said something in your wish to be a nice person – that is, your fear of not being loved if you speak your mind. You have played along with the crowd, participated in their doubtful games and without realising it, have started to consider this nothing out of the ordinary and even normal. But everybody does it – or so you say to yourself.

You have begun to call dishonesty the truth and saying it, you believe yourself but every time somebody tells you a lie you still get mad. You clearly feel what a fool the liar takes you for. There’s nothing you can do to prove that he is lying so you get a headache out of humilation. Or something worse – it depends on how you have managed to suppress and gather your anger and how mad you finally got.

This is the sort of accident that happens to people who consider themselves better than they really are. A real thief and con-man never worries about such things because he may be corrupt but at least he doesn’t lie about it to himself. No liar hates a truly honest man and no thief will still from him.

Contemplating the above you will find many reasons that have intiated stress and finally physical illness, from the moment you start to grow, it will attacth it self and start the destruction of your body, but we are fine, there is nothing wrong.
We all say “My parents are the best parents in the world – no I have no stress at all – me angry no – I have no fears nor guilt, my sickness is because it is frezing outside, well in that case 3.5 billion people would be constanly sick – but they are not, when its cold the only thing that happens is that the body gets cold, nothing more nothing less, off course extreme cold can be dangerous, but I mentioned already that extremes are dangerous.

I wish you good luck
B
 
  Alexthink on 2005-11-24
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Stress is the rot of all ills.

Certainly lies contrubute to stress - as also does the truth!.

Try reading the works of Chuang Tzu
 
walkin last decade
Lying to a child, is a crime, and the parents should be aware of the kick back that comes many years later, in respons to a request of one of my patients.

A child knows what is right.

If an adult explains the situation in words like, “look, the circumstances are that you have to do the exact opposite of what you think is right. People in the physical world are used to this sort of behavior. I’m sorry that I have to go against your better judgment and tell you what to do but this is the only way I know” – then this is the truth of the moment and the child won’t protest.

Being sincere and straightforward – and not following a so-called free upbringing – releases a child from mental crisis. A child needs his parents’ wisdom of life because like attracts like. He has come to this particular set of parents precisely due to the similarity between the three of them. A free upbringing is a total lack of upbringing. It is a situation where parents refuse to do their duty.

A child comes to this world through his parents, and with a good reason. Parents are already adapted to the physical world and, as such are obliged to teach the child, so that he too can adapt properly, remaining true to himself in every situation in life. Then he won’t have to crash into walls on his way and learn by suffering alone. This is the laws of nature and the parents who have failed to teach his child the ways of life before he turns eighteen, shall feel the effect of karmic law on himself.

As already mentioned, there are countless ways of teaching. The parents have the right to discipline his child physically – influencing the first chakra with a switch, has a releasing effect on the sixth and seventh charkas. The opposite is not permissible to a person. However, you should bear in mind that this kind of discipline is hardly ever necessary.

The parents should always think, “What did I do to cause a situation like that?” and ask the child to forgive his mistake, explaining to him, in a way best understandable to the child, the real reason behind the situation. The child will always forgive and learn from each mistake. Do not be afraid that admitting a mistake will make you look bad in his eyes. Quite the opposite – the child will appreciate your sincerity and think even more highly of you. Every child wants to respect his parents and will always defend them to the world. Puberty is a turning point and after that correcting mistakes will become difficult.

A child needs the truth, however hard it may be – not sweet lies. Man learns only by truth and truth sets you free. A child kept in terror becomes a hypocrite and his protest will grow into bitterness and later, into anger. At the same time his dignity is wounded forever. Where there’s a conflict, a child needs to be told if he was the one who caused it or if it was caused by something else.
Dr. Beek
 
Alexthink last decade
Hello Walking,

Certainly you have a point, however in speaking the truth, you've made a clean slate, and both sides can start to understand each other.
I had many times in which I had to be careful with the truth - not sure if the other party was able to handle it, but then again, I can't deceive myself and put stress on myself, I rather face the consequence and deal with it. looking it straight in the eyes, and don't feel guilty. Patient's who are facing towards a dead end are in most cases more sincere and open, they know that its not a time the bring out the happy faces, and deny everything that has been so long kept away.
I appreciate your opinion and recognize that you have been reading with sense, that alone is worthy of a reply and my respect.

thank you
Beek
 
Alexthink last decade
Dear Tanaka,

You can read some more on this topic by looking in my profile, as I have said, more will be expained in January 2006

Dr.Beek
 
Alexthink last decade
http://www.abchomeopathy.com/forum2.php/55942/
 
Alexthink last decade
please also read
http://www.abchomeopathy.com/forum2.php/45040/

your welcome
Dr.Beek
 
Alexthink last decade
i think at the end of the day what we do as and individual forgiving, when the other person doesnt when kids are involved like in my case the i had some beer they touched i didnt leave anything around after that
we cant take the whole world on our shoulders
its causes suisides and murders
 
alangail1 last decade
At what age do you think children should be taught about such subjects as violence, torture, injuries, death, war, and killing? How about an age for sexual education starting?
 
ZepOz last decade
sex: when the kids starting asking simple questions and if theyve got to puberty they deffinately need to know about how babies are made
wrong touching and every else along the way
my children were taught pretty early and wouldnt let them watch the nasties kept them away from the news for a long while
 
alangail1 last decade
AN EXAMPLE FROM LIFE
To Roberto/Chieva
A mother is seeing me about her son’s disturbing weight-loss. The boy is in love, spending all his time, strength and money on a girl who won’t even hear about marrying. She wants to keep her freedom. She is a normal modern woman! She wants to take everything from life it has to offer. The mother feeds her son and looks after his clothes but dares to say nothing about his love life – he is unhappy as it is.

My dear woman, you are putting material wealth on a pedestal. You have desired for money and pretty things. You didn’t love your husband so that he could be more of a man. For you, he was nothing but a machine to keep you provided for but you are still having regrets about not marrying a wealthier man. Your son is carrying on your husband’s existence; he doesn’t even know to want for anything better. A man chooses his wife by his mother’s example. Your son’s girlfriend is nothing more than an enhanced version of yourself. Like a lot of young women today, she declares her right for personal freedom without really knowing what she means by it. if you understand your own mistakes then your son will be released of his nightmare.

You have forgotten to discuss life and people with your son (daughter) you have had so many more important things to do. Should you now decide to make up for all the lost time and give your son (daughter) the motherly advice you failed to provide when he/she was a little girl/boy, then such a talk would sound like a lecture. Your son/daughter wouldn’t listen to what you have to say – the right time for teaching has passed. Now he has to learn by suffering, to be able to draw the right conclusions.

The fact that your heart is aching indicates that you have done something wrong. You can help your son/daughter by asking, in your heart, his forgiveness for leaving him/her without a mother’s advice and having caused his present suffering by it. Forgive yourself and ask your body to forgive you for having harmed your son/daughter by your feelings of guilt. When you have done this in all sincerity, your son/daughter will change his attitude or you yourself will feel justified to speak your mind. If he won’t listen to you, then you have not managed to correct all your mistakes – you had only thought you had.

Don’t forget: your child is the way you are or the way you have managed to bend him. And now you want to bend him again, in some other direction suitable to you. And all according to your moment’s in need, so that your own mistakes wouldn’t be so hurtful and the rest of the world couldn’t point a finger at you.

regards
Dr.Beek
 
Alexthink last decade
well after reading this
i glad my son son has found the right person for him
and she is well and healthy and not ill and sick like me
after a certain time they are a adults and go their own way and have to learn by their mistakes if they are too full of pride to ask for help then they do learn the hard way
 
alangail1 last decade
Truth may hurt but it is liberating. People do not need to continue to play silly and childish mind games.

A small lie need a bigger lie to cover it up. To cover that up you need even a bigger lie. If the liar is in a position of power and influence he will engage more and more people in his lies to cover up his initial very small lie. After a while people who stuck their head out could not even distinguish between what is real and what is false.

With all the wonderful capacity of thinking, sensibility, kindness, communication etc, we use it to lie and deceive better.

This is life...we delude ourselves and we delude others.
 
chiongguo last decade
it depeneds on whos truth it is
 
alangail1 last decade
Dear alangail1

there is only truth, and that is yours and yours alone. life starts with you, and we cannot deceive ourselves.
regards
Dr.Beek
 
Alexthink last decade
hi, all you sressed out folks ...give this exercise a go...next time you feel stressed
notice were in your body that you feel it, physics shows us that all is energy...so imagine the stress as a ball of energy in your hands(hold your hands out as if you are holding a ball of energy 'called stress'...Now this is when you can see that they are on to something...look at this ball of energy as you look at it you will see that it is made of tiny particles and only when you put a label on that energy does it seen solid i.e stress, frustration,and even WONDER!... Now how much truth CAN you FIND in that...one dose of ignatia 200c...and remember to remember what you need to remember and remember to forget what you need to forget and who really worried about the rest...peace&love...vern
 
vernpeace last decade
wonderful
I'll try not to forget
 
Alexthink last decade
freshing up
Dr.Beek
 
Alexthink last decade

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