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Please doctors help me urgently

Hello doctors,

I have chronic depression, Anxiety, fear and lack of confidence problem. I am ready to take your guidance to get rid of my problems. Please suggest something as this mental disease is making my life miserable.

I am 35 years old mother. My father is also a mental patient, for 45-50 years.

I did not grow up in healthy environment. My parents always have fought with each other. (They still do). I had to see those dramas till the day I got married off. I had so much of hope that I would find a very good husband who would be supportive and give lots of care and affection to me. But unfortunately, he is very irresponsible person. Who does not care about family values. He is a very selfish guy. He is a lazybone and always have high expectations in life but he does nothing to achieve his high goals. I always suggest him to start with small things and reach gradually towards the high goals but he never listens to anybody. He is a careless person too. He never cares about the future of our daughter too. Because of these things in life I feel I am trapped inside depressed environment and have become so much sensitive depressed, fearful, helpless and vulnuralbe in life. I had taken antidepressants 8-9 years back for 2 years too but was not happy with it too.

Now, because of so many tensions, I have become so much vulnerable that I cannot stand any bad news, specially death or disease of any relatives. Any bad news about loved ones makes me anxious and restless. I cannot sleep well the whole night till I hear any good news about the problem. I fear of being alone, I fear of the deterioration of my health. I think if I remain depressed like this for long time I would die. Or any of my relatives remain depressed he/she would die. I cannot imagine anyone dying of diseases (specially mental disease). I start putting myself in that situation of the sufferer( the diseased person). 2years ago I witnessed a death of a closed relative which affected me so badly. I think that was a horrible death. He died because of the incurable disease. And I think of myself that if my mental problem is not cured I will die too. I don't want to die soon. I have a little daughter. I want to see her best future. I want to guide her in every of her steps. But at the moment I am so much helpless that I think I can do nothing in life.

I want to go to college to maintain my status here but I think I cannot study and cannot be a good student although I was a good student back home before I got depression problem.

I am in the USA right now under dependent visa. If this visa expires I have to go back to my country which I do not want to. Back home there is not any happy and healthy environment that I can survive in. Besides we Asians have so many unreasonable rules and regulations in our lives which I always want to avoid. I do not want to hurt anyone's feeling yet I cannot survive inside too much 'This and That' ( controlled) environment.

I always feel that something is inside my head which is making me indecisive. My head is always congestive. As if some gray cloud is trapped inside it. I have burning feelings inside head too. Specially in Vertex and Occiput. I have dull kind of ache in my occiput. I feel tightness and pressure inside my head, always. I have memory problems too. I do not have will power, confidence and interests in anything.

I am also depressed and helpless when I feel I am controlled by anyone. I want to do everything by myself. I feel down and my anxiety raises and start feeling weepy, when somebody shouts at me while controlling me. I want to escape from the environment when I feel uncomfortable being inside it.

I am extremely sensitive emotionally. I cannot take contradictions, humiliation, insults etc.

I have taken Lycopodium Calv 30C for all these symptoms but it did not help me much. May be the potency was not correct or the remedy. I went to a homeopath as well for 6 months but I could not afford fees anymore and also he could not find the best remedy for me so I quit going to him.

Please doctor help me out. I am ready to answer any questions you ask. But please help me get rid of these problems. I have a hope with Homeopathy.

P.S. I think I am extremely sensitive towards higher potency remedies. I had experienced strong aggravations, when I used to take remedies from my former homeopath.

Thanking you.
 
  Trishna on 2012-01-09
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Hello.
I'd like to try and help you. Emotional problems are my specialty, or at least a theme that interests me.
But before we go any further I would like you to fill out this form. Although you have described your problem well in your post.

Gender:
Age:
Body Type:
Height:
Weight:
General appearance:
Have you used homeopathic medicines before? If so what, and what homeopathic potencies did you use?

+

Please answer the following questions in a descriptive manner after careful analysis and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.

1. Describe your main suffering?

2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?

3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?

6. Which time of the day you are worst?

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc.


8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?

9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?

10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?

- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
Weeping, talking to one self etc?

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?

11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?


12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?

13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?

14. How is your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?

15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?

16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?

17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?

18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?

19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?

20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others?

21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?

22. What major diseases are running in your family?

23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
(For Females)
24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.

25. What major diseases have you had in your life and when. Please write them in a chronological manner.

Sincerely, Parakletos, a practitioner of classical homeopathy.
 
Parakletos last decade
Gender: Female
Age: 35
Body Type: Slim/Skinny
Height: 5'0'
Weight: 96 lbs
General appearance: look diseased, sad, tired. irritated

Have you used homeopathic medicines before? If so what, and what homeopathic potencies did you use?
Yes I have used homeopathic medicines before too. I don't know what were the remedies and what postencies when I first saw a classical homeopath here in the USA. When I saw 2nd homeopath( an Indian lady ) She gave me Natrum Arsenicum 1M and I could not tolerate the aggravations created by it. When the aggravation stopped I did not feel any changes or positivity. After that I could not go to any homeopaths because of my finacial problems. So I started surfing net and start giving myself different remedies: I tried Pulsatilla 6C (it didn't work), I tried Natrum Mur 30 C (I didn't work either). Recently I took Lycopodium Calv 30C (3 doses). There was a slight change at the beginning or it was just my psychology. But now I am not seeing any difference or I am more fearful towards bad news and become much more depressed.
+

Please answer the following questions in a descriptive manner after careful analysis and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.

1. Describe your main suffering?
I am depressed, sad, irritated, angry, nothing seems positive to me. Fear of bad news, fear of death, fear of being alone, fear of failure, fear of deterioration of health, fear of being insane. Too much anxious. No excitements in life. no courage, no confidence, hesitation, reacts on contradiction. No hunger or do not want to eat even if hungry.

2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?
When I hear any bad news or when I know something bad is gonna happen I feel too much anxious and I feel like my whole body is shaking. My legs become weak and trembling. It feels like I am gonna loose my mind. I cannot concentrate on anything

3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?
I feel my head is occupied with some burning liquid. My mind stops working, no concentration, worries, depression, I feel suffocated. I feel tensed. Agitated, nervous, fearful, angry. insomnia, confused, indecisive. worries

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.
I feel that I am going to be insane. I won't be able to think like normal people do, I will not be intelligent anymore. I will not be able to think properly if I loose my mind. I will be useless. I will be pathetic. I won't be able to do anything in life. I will be worthless. And I feel I will die from this depression. And if I die nobody will be there to take care of my child.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
As I already explained in my thread above, I was not grown up in a healthy environment. We were always in financial crisis back then too. I think it started when I was like 22-23 years old. I always wanted to escape from my parents home because I always felt that nobody cares about me. I could not escape because of some social reasons back home. So I was a silent sufferer. The whole environment was not favorable. In the meantime I fell for one guy but could not express my feelings properly and he went abroad leaving me alone. After that I kept on thinking about him and on the top my family matters were giving me so much tensions that I could not handle all those pressures. After that I started taking antidepressants. I took it for 2-3 yrs. After that I started doing yoga and breathing exercise and I was kind of okay after doing that on regular basis.
I was fine and working till the day I got married. After that I came to the USA and I was okay for 3-4 years. After that I gave birth to my daughter and after the delivery I was kind of depressed too because there was noone to support me and give me guidance to raise a child. I have done that all by myself. I still am doing. After that I remain irritated all the time.
Then I got chance to go back home 2years back for my brother's marriage. I had to live there forcefully for 6 months as my husband did not want me to come back here soon. I felt so much controlled and helpless and my depression hyped from that time. In the meantime I witnessed a horrible death of one of my cousin and I became so much fearful towards death. I cannot hear anyone is sick. If I hear if anyone is sick I start imagining that he/she would die soon. And I don't want to hear death of any closed ones or the ones whom I know. I get so much tensed and anxious if I have to hear those kind of bad news.

I have always been a good child and good human being but destiny have not given me good things in my fate except my sweet little daughter.



6. Which time of the day you are worst?
I feel worst in the morning as soon as I wake up. Then I have head congestion and sadness all day through night. I cannot sleep well too.

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc.
I feel better in open air. I feel better when I am with somebody. I feel worse when I am alone and think about the disease all the time. I feel worse when I see my husband wasting his time and not thinking about future. I cannot tolerate cold temperature and too much heat. Warm and mild hot temperature is okay for me. If I feel hot I have burning feeling on my soles as well.

8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
I feel more irritated and more sad during menses. I have back pain too. It becomes more intense during menses. I feel more depressed when I have to do the things against my will or if somebody tries to control me.

9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
I don't like cold weather, Cloudy and Gloomy weather, I feel better in sunny days. worse in rainy days.

10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

I am moody, Mild, Nervous, Easily offended, Arguing, irritating, Quiet but if there is any extremes then I shout a lot. I shout when I argue with my husband, little lazy, make excuses to start or to do any new things because of the lack of confidence in doing that.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
I don't like the sound that's about it.

- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
I cannot answer this question properly because I like it sometimes and sometimes I don't like it.

- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
Noises, yeah. I get irritated.

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
Weeping, talking to one self etc?
Sometimes when I feel contradicted, humiliated, insulted, controlled, I weep otherwise I do not cry or cannot cry.

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
I am not satisfied with my husband's behavior. I have always had complains about him. Its just not me who does not like his behavior its outsiders as well who has complain with him. He does not have manner or respect towards other's feeling. He is controlling type. Not abusive though. He is a carefree person who does not care about anything but himself. I love my child a lot. I am possessive and protective about her. I feel that only me and my mom can take care of her and no one else in this world (my mom is not with me though) She is a picky eater so I think if I am not there she will be starving all the time. because noone else can feed her besides me. And I do not have hope with my husband that he can take care of her. So I have become overprotective.
I do not have many friends. I unwillingly make friends because I feel that if my health deteriorates they will come to help me. Sincerely I do not like making friends.

11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
I fear of my bad health and not been able to take care of my child if that happens.
Yes I dream that I am back home and I try to come back to USA again and again and consular are not giving me Visa for that. Then I am too much depressed. Whatever it is but I do not want to go back home. My visa here is about to expire and I do not want to go back to that suffocating environment back home again. So I am so much worried about it too.


12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
I do not crave for any foods. I like salt than sugar. I like tea.

13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
Less

14. How is your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
Less

15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?
I am a picky eater. So I have only few choices of food items. And I eat that food which I like so I can't say which food my body can't stand.

16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
Sweat is less. And in Underarms. If I am nervous or anxious a little on palms too.

17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?
Its okay but less in amount.

18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
I do not sleep well. Little noise makes me wake up.
Furthermore, I wake up all of a sudden in 1 hr or so with some kind of fear and my heart beats faster than regular. Specially around midnight. then its very hard to go back to sleep

19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
No. We have not have sex for the last 4 years. But sometimes(once in a month or once in two months or so) I desire for it and I masturbate. I talked about our sex life with my husband for many times but it seems he is not interested in it either.

20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others?
I feel sometimes I speak different sentences than what I wanted to say or explain. I cannot catch the thread of the discussions and I feel like I am becoming different. Sometimes I cannot reason. Usually I cannot find words to describe what i want.

21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
I used antidepressants 2years back as well. But I helped me temporarily. I have been using homeopathic remedies for the last 6-7 months. Now I have an intense problem of anxiety when I hear about any bad news or any kind of negative news. I am not able to tolerate this.

22. What major diseases are running in your family?
My father had nervous break down 50 years back and now he is schizophrenic. My mom has psorisis recently.

23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
(For Females)
I am a good looking female. I am too skinny though because of the loss of appetite. I look pale and sick. I have short hair.

24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.
It is normal and scanty. I used to have intense pain before I got pregnant. Now the pain is not that intense. Its tolerable. I get irritated before and during menses.

25. What major diseases have you had in your life and when. Please write them in a chronological manner.
Nothing other than depression and anxiety.
 
Trishna last decade

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