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Problem with swallowing, acne, confidence

Hi there. I've been trying to get my case figured out for the longest time. If somebody could please read through and offer any suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you very much!!

29 years old. Female. Caucasian. Height: 5’1”. Hazel/brown eyes. Light brown hair. Pale skin. Long eyelashes. I crave sweets and when I eat them, I immediately gain weight.

My father has arteriosclerosis and high blood pressure. He suffers from social phobia, fear of people, sensitive about appearance, and never achieved anything in his life. Heart problems on his side of the family.
When I was little, I was painfully shy, too. But I tried very hard to overcome this, and I used to long for greatness. I can be very outgoing and social. But I’m still timid and very self-conscious. (I’m very insecure around people, but I’m confident when I’m with close family.) I still have debilitating feelings of inadequacy, especially when it comes to working: I leave all jobs because I feel that I’m not qualified, and I was never able to reach my potential, which is very painful for me, because I’m very jealous of what others achieved. I never had any confidence to work in any real jobs.

My maternal grandmother is Schizoid. She speaks like a robot, has no feelings, performs compulsive rituals, thinks she can speak to God and it’s her mission to educate the world. My grandmother and mother both have hyperthyroidism. Maternal grandfather died of brain tumor.
My mother is very Narcissistic and has Borderline Personality disorder. She used to cling to female friends and would threaten suicide when they abandoned her. She’s weirdly attracted to little kids (she even slept in the same bed with me and gave me baths until I was eleven years old). She’s controlling and has mood swings and anger outbursts.
As a result, I received a very unstable upbringing. There was no nurturing from her. She used to leave for months, and when she was around, I always feared her because of her unpredictable moods and controlling temperament.
I think that I also have some features of her Borderline Disorder – I have no stable sense of identity; I have no idea what to do with my life. I’m already 29 and have no idea what career to choose. (Cannot make decisions because I have no sense of identity or any confidence.) I have magical thinking. I feel different from others and misunderstood and like an alien. I care what everybody thinks about me and I’m sensitive to criticism. On the one hand feel special, on the other hand feel worthless. Become what others expect. I’m impulsive and can’t control my emotions. No boundaries or set values. Fear of abandonment.
I am only attracted to narcissistic men (those who are arrogant, powerful. who first idealize me, but then devalue me, and then I suffer terribly from feelings of abandonment). I feel horrible thinking that I did something wrong that made them stop liking me. Scare them off with my feelings. I feel deep longing and desire to make them love me, the same way that I wanted my mother to love me when I was little.
I’ve been with my one boyfriend since I was a teenager. He loves me but he’s also selfish. I’m afraid to leave him because I cannot hurt his feelings and because I’m afraid no one will love me or understand me like he does.

Hormones: my testosterone levels are slightly elevated. My periods have always been irregular. They come once every couple of months. When they arrive, the flow if very heavy the first three days. There are also dark clots. There’s very severe cramps the first day or two. And sometimes I’m weepy before the period. I can feel that it’s coming. Periods last around 7 days. Sometimes have white thick discharges in between periods. The hair on my legs grows fast and I need to shave daily.
My face has been very oily and shiny since puberty. I have black pores, deep cysts. I squeeze pimples. I have dark spots left on the face afterwards, and they make me feel ugly and deformed and I have to hide behind makeup at all times. I feel that acne ruined my life completely. There are also breakouts on the right breast.

Sexuality – when I was little I played doctor with my friends non-stop. When I became a teenager I started masturbating a lot. I have lots of birthmarks, and a few cauliflower birthmarks.

I used to suffer from panic attacks. I was afraid of vomiting in front of people, feared embarrassing myself in front of others, having no way out. I have anticipatory anxiety and it causes diarrhea. I also have felt very depressed due to my acne problem and due to my anxiety and inferiority feelings.

Other:
When I was young, I used to wonder what’s beyond the beyond, and I would feel as if I became huge and my body expanded, and then I’d become tiny again. Looking across an empty dark open space gives me that feeling of hugeness.
Irritated by noises.
Forget what I read.
I act childish, naively. Have a childish voice. People usually think I look younger than I am. But I’m also very serious.
Hair is oily, fine, thin. Dark under eye circles.
I fall asleep very late. Need to have blanket over me in order to sleep.
Sometimes I’m irritated by other people talking, by noises.
Restless, fear missing out, like to drive, travel.
Don’t like intrusions into body (needles, medicines). Fear of physical suffering and of unknown new symptoms.
Sensitive to music. Can feel sad or euphoric.
When I sneeze, I sneeze 4-5 times. Sometimes I sneeze if come out of dim place into bright sunlight.
Throat cracks when I yawn too wide.
Better from applying pressure. Worse thinking about problems.
Urinary: After I drink water, I have to urinate very frequently. Microscopic levels of blood very often found in urine. Had a couple of urinary tract infections.
Sometimes white lumps of mucus in stool. Some back pains lately.

Chief complaint: I have trouble swallowing saliva. It feels thick and like it doesn’t go down, but instead as if it gets stuck in the throat. Sometimes there seems to be mucus in the throat somewhere. If I just empty swallow repeatedly, then I’ll be choking. So I am always drinking water, or eating something, in order to push the saliva down. Sometimes I’ve felt mucus stuck in posterior nares. Nose always feels stuffed up. Sometimes feel like need to clear my throat, sometimes feel mucus building up in throat, sometimes feel throat is congested.
The closest allopathic disease seems to be Laryngopharyngeal reflux (where the stomach acid comes back up into throat and sinuses). The symptoms of this disease are: too much mucus, sensation of plug in throat, pressure in ears, post nasal drip, the need to swallow foods in order to push acid back down into stomach, clearing throat, coughing, choking on mucus, teeth decay from acid eating the teeth away. Most of my teeth have decay. Sometimes I have spasms in the throat. Also spasms from taking supplements. When I try to take proton pump inhibitor medication, my swallowing feels worse right away, instead of better. It feels more congested.
I used to often feel stomach pains, queasiness, and I often feel nausea. In 2003, I started to feel that all the food I was eating was getting stuck in my throat. It was very scary. I stopped eating solid foods and lived on liquids for a very long time. Then developed post nasal drip. In 2005, I was living in a windy city and getting lots of earaches. Then I developed tons of mucus on blowing the nose. But then the mucus stopped flowing outward, and instead turned inward. I started choking on the mucus that would get stuck in my throat. After that I developed a problem with empty swallowing.

So the problems I have are: problem with empty swallowing, mucus; hormonal imbalance, acne, oily skin; teeth decay; feelings of inadequacy, lack of confidence.
 
  Mandy29 on 2010-01-24
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Please think and answer the questions below in detail:

What is your activity level - physically and mentally?

What is your thirst like? Is it for cold or warm drinks? How much do you drink at a time?

What is your thermal preference? Do you like to be in cold or warm environment?

Do you have any fears say for heights, strangers, darkness, etc?

What are your food cravings and aversions?

How is your sleep and do you dream?

How is your love & affections realm?

How is your decision making?

Is it easier to swallow solids than liquids?

Do you sigh or take long breaths once in a while?

What are your thoughts (recurrent) about?

What is your temperement/ mood normally?

What major ailments have you suffered since childhood?

What all remedies have you taken so far?
 
srisri last decade
Thank you for your reply!

What is your activity level - physically and mentally?
very low activity level.

What is your thirst like? Is it for cold or warm drinks? How much do you drink at a time?
I drink a lot of water, but only because I have to drink in order to swallow saliva.

What is your thermal preference? Do you like to be in cold or warm environment?
I don't like too hot or too cold.

Do you have any fears say for heights, strangers, darkness, etc?
fear of embarrassing myself in front of others, of having no way out (acon and arg nit seemed to have helped)

What are your food cravings and aversions?
I like sweets.

How is your sleep and do you dream?
I fall asleep late. sleep about 8 hrs. I have lots of dreams. If something is bothering me, then I can't sleep. If I don't get enough sleep, then I feel queasy and have diarrhea sometimes

How is your love & affections realm?
I have one boyfriend since I was young. I love him and hate him at the same time. I'm afraid to leave him because I fear nobody else will love me and understand like he does, and that I won't be able to find anyone else because I'm ugly without makeup.
I'm always attracted to narcissistic men - who are powerful, arrogant, strong. They lose interest in me and then I suffer and try to win their affection.

How is your decision making?
I cannot make any decisions.

Is it easier to swallow solids than liquids?
it used to be easier with liquids, then with solids. (I've tried Lachesis)

Do you sigh or take long breaths once in a while?
yes

What are your thoughts (recurrent) about?
I think about what to do with my life, how to make a living, how I didn't achieve anything, how I'm worse off than others, how I'm insecure, how I'm ugly because of acne

What is your temperament/ mood normally?
uncontrollable, changeable, impulsive emotions. very sensitive to what others think of me.
but with people I'm timid, happy, sweet, pleasing, apologetic, etc.

What major ailments have you suffered since childhood?
no major illnesses.

What all remedies have you taken so far?
I've been given/tried many many remedies. Most polychrests.... Most I didn't stick with at all (because I change my mind quickly and also doubted my decision of the remedies)
 
Mandy29 last decade
Do you have access to a good homeopath (in person)?


Between cooler and warm, which is your preference? More precisely, are you chilly or hotty person?

Do you weep/ cry? How easily/ readily and how?

Do you like being consoled or does that worsen the situation?

Are you artistic?

Do you help others? To what extent? Do you go beyond your limits?

Do you often remember old hurts/ incidents and feel bad/ sad about them?

Are you sensitive to sounds?

How do you feel during thunder storms?

Which all polychrests have you used so far? What is your last remedy, which potency and when?
 
srisri last decade
Between cooler and warm, which is your preference? More precisely, are you chilly or hotty person?
hands and feet are usually cold. i guess i'd rather be cooler than warmer, but it depends

Do you weep/ cry? How easily/ readily and how?
it's hard to say. usually don't really cry. if i listen to sad music, then i'll cry. sometimes feel weepy before periods

Do you like being consoled or does that worsen the situation?
i'm not sure. sometimes i do, sometimes not. i feel like others don't really understand what i'm going through.

Are you artistic?
i like to read, write, watch movies, listen to music, read new age stuff, psychic, spiritual stuff. but i don't really produce any artistic crafts

Do you help others? To what extent? Do you go beyond your limits?
i help people because i try to please them. but i don't think it's way too much

Do you often remember old hurts/ incidents and feel bad/ sad about them?
yes

Are you sensitive to sounds?
yes

How do you feel during thunder storms?
i don't know

Which all polychrests have you used so far? What is your last remedy, which potency and when?
i've tried many all of them. but many of them i didn't give enought time. i tried nat mur, sil, lyc, calc, graph, lach, nit ac, sulph, thuj,
 
Mandy29 last decade
If you have been having toomany remedies, please take one dose of Sepia or Pulsatilla or Sulphur in 30C for starters. You should let it work for atleast 2 to 4 weeks. That will also bring out the real symptoms and remove the symptoms of remedies you have been taking if any.

I think you will be benefitted by Ignatia. Start with one dose in 200c following the usual homeo restrictions.

From day 2 onwards, take Kali Phos 6x in the morn and Nat Mur 6x in the eve - 2 tabs.

Please post feedback.
 
srisri last decade
Hi Srisri!

thank you very much for spending time on my case! I had taken Ignatia 200C in the past and it didn't help any of my problems.

I think that maybe the problem is that I made my case way too long, with too many unnecessary, unrelated symptoms. So I went back and took out all the clutter and left just the most important points. Maybe it will help? Thanks for all your help!

My menses are irregular. The flow is very heavy first few days, with lots of cramps, and clots. My testosterone levels are slightly elevated.

My face has been very oily since puberty. I get deep cysts, which sometimes develop into whiteheads and sometimes not. I have dark spots left on the face afterwards. I wear makeup all the time when I go out in public. There are also blackheads on the right breast. (If I were to take antibiotics, then all the pimples disappear right away. In the past, some creams worked to stop acne for a long time, but then it would come back again.)

I have trouble swallowing saliva. It feels thick. Sometimes there seems to be mucus in the throat. Sometimes throat feels congested. Sometimes it feels better if I can clear the throat and get the mucus to un-stick. My nose is usually congested. Sometimes there’s post-nasal drip. I always have to drink water or eat something, in order to swallow saliva down. I cannot just empty swallow repeatedly. I have teeth decay.

I care what people think about me. I get offended easily.
I’m envious of others.
I want to achieve a lot, but I cannot hold down any job because I feel inadequate and inferior when I’m around people. At home I feel confident.
I’m very indecisive.
I used to suffer from anxiety in the past.
 
Mandy29 last decade
Pl take one dose of Natrum Mur 200c and report feedback after 14 days or so...
 
srisri last decade

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