Opposite defiant disorder 5yrs old

My almost 5 yrs old son has Opposite defiant disorder with parents and his elder siblings only but he is very passive and agreeable with his friends and adults outside his family to point were his always saying yes to any request.

He also finds the transition between home to school very hard to point were he will ask me to pick him up when am dropping him at school and will only get down when he sees the classroom door open.He also looks anxious during school drop off.

During school drop off again, if his friends are talking to him, he will say no and just ignore them even when I ask him to sat hello to his friends

His Opposite defiant disorder symptoms are;

When his dad says to him, "Luka do you want to come to the store with me?"

His Answer, "Noooo" in a angry and complaining voice tone. And the immediately say "I Wanna come"

He won't accept any help as he wants to do things by himself at home and will throw a tantrum even just for asking if he needs help and sometimes hit or scratches mother. Yet at school he says yes to help from his friends even when his capable of doing things himself such as zipping his coat up.

There has been times were other kids scream and be rude to him at school and he will just keep quiet but at home he will get argumentative for even asking him if he needs food. And he lacks confidence when his at school hence he speaks with very low voice

He us very smart and knows so much like planets,mention all 12 months of the year in proper older, names dinosaurs and what they eat. He can also write and spell his name plus simple words like bird, pig, Yet at school is said to be behind due to his quietness.

At home if asked "Luka, do you want to sit down?" he will say "Noooo." Then immediately instructed on how the mother should re-ask the question.

Like, "mum, Say Luka do you want to stand up?
And his mother has to repeat the question exactly, once he satisfied, he will proceed to sit down.

He also has pica- He eats sand or dirty. Sometimes he will lick dirty surfaces and roll on the floor

Thanks so much.
[Edited by Martha2 on 2022-03-08 19:27:40]