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Frustrated with daugther's attitude

I am hoping someone here can help me with my daughter. She is 13. Short for her age, average height of a 11 year old, a little over weight, dark hair, dark brown eyes. She is quiet pretty.

She is a very angry person. Has been since she was little. I jokingly call her Igor when she was 3 (from Winnie the Pooh, because Igor is always grumpy). She did not appreciate that. She is offended easily: became very angry when people in her class would shorten her name when she was 7. She was a very bright child.. speaking in sentences before she turned 1. She was writing all her letters, numbers and her name well by age 3. I thought she would succeed in school but instead she declined. She did not pick up on reading and was causing problems. She was known for causing arguments with girls on the playground. At least once every year we got a call telling us she had stolen something (once it was treats from her teacher, once it was an eraser from another student, and once it was treats off of a project she had seen hanging in the hallway of school). She has always had a large appetite. She weighed 34 lbs by the time she was 1 so I started to control her food quantity and slowly she became of average weight but still to this day she eats more than other girls her age and doesn't want to stop. We took her out of public school at age 9 and have been homeschooling her. She is offended easily: she became very angry when kids shortened her name at school, almost anything said at home offends her. When she was 11 we found many things in her room that she had been taking from us and from others (garbage from food, lighter, matches, medicines, make-up, jewelery). Our solution was to empty her closet and take the dresser out of her room so she wouldn't have places to hide things in. She now shares a room with her sister.

She is always arguing with everyone. Her siblings, her friends, and especially me. She feels sorry for herself easily. She feels she is doing so much more than her siblings to help out. She is the second oldest in the family. I can't trust her to help in the kitchen or baby sit her younger siblings.

She is behind on her reading abilities. She has trouble spelling.. even simple words. She still often gets her bs and ds confused. She was diagnosed with a eye sight problem 1 year ago. She can't focus on an object when it is closer to her than 18' (she can't get her eyes to cross) and then sees two of the items close to her. She uses prism glasses to help her read and is using a program to help strengthen her eye muscles.

She had parasites 2 years ago (same time as when we discovered all the stuff in her room) and since then is lactose intolerant. She gets a headache when she has had sweets. She has yellowing toenails.

I get very frustrated with her often times. It feels like I am talking to a brick wall. She only hears the things she wants to hear. She can remember in detail what we ate while on vacation a year ago but she can't remember a conversation we had yesterday. She is very concerned about her appearance (her cloths, her nails and her hair). She wants everything to be about her. While parking in front of a clothing store the other day I told her we were there only to buy her sister some much needed jeans, before we got to the door she already said 'And me some tank tops?' I repeated what I had said and then in the store she was coming to me with different shirts that she wanted me to purchase for her.

Is there a remedy that can help her, with her health issues as well as with her attitude toward everyone? Sadly, while she was away for two nights in September (at a retreat) her younger sister said, 'It has been so peaceful in the house the last couple of days.' Sad. But true.
 
  living on 2012-11-02
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Please give her three doses of Cina 200 as follows and see how that affects in next 15 days (only 3 doses in 15 days).

day 1 morning
1st dose

day 1 evening
2nd dose

day 2 morning
3rd dose

One dose means
If the medicine is in pills form 2 pills. Don't touch pills with hand. Use cap of bottle to take pills.
If the medicine is in liquid dilution form, 2 drops in some 20 ml water. Sip up slowly.

Please follow homeo restrictions like no coffee, no raw onion/garlic, no strong perfumes, don't eat or drink anything within 30 minutes before or after taking medicine.
 
kadwa last decade
Thank-you Kadwa.

I have Cina 200c in liquid form at home so will give it to her as directed.

She was given and antiparasitic medication 2 years ago and was tested again this last spring to see if she still had parasites and they said she did not.
 
living last decade
Pls allow me to help with a suggestion:
I had a sibling who was like this. While homeopathy will help her directly, it will be also very helpful for her to grow up having good memories of you. Especially in your later years - that will be important. I am not a homeopath - but have a daughter who is 16 and is exactly opposite in personality. Would suggest that you take time to be with your daughter when she is 'enjoying'. Give her moments of joy - praise her more often. Words are free. Empowering words will last forever in her memory. Build her confidence. Find things that she is good at. I know it is hard, but it will pay off. I as a mom in my mid 40s now control my own language, I speak less at home, I count my own words and speak when I can give joy to my family. It is paying a huge dividend. Love is to be expressed in words and action for the young ones to get it. I know you love your daughter. It's not real if she doesn't feel it.
 
Hair Loss last decade
Cina is not just a remedy for parasites. It covers well her mental state. Let us see how it goes.
 
kadwa last decade
It has been 10 days now since I gave her the Cina 200c liquid dilution.

So far there is no change.
 
living last decade
Please wait for another 5 days and if that doesn't help, give her Lycopodium 200 3 doses in the same way and report back after 15 days.
 
kadwa last decade
Kadwa,

I would have like to have reported back sooner but I did not find the time. There has been no change so I will go ahead with the Lycopodium 200c.

Another thing I should mention: when we ask about her actions (stealing, lying, etc) the manner in which she answers seems as though she honestly doesn't comprehend that she did anything wrong. She isn't affected at all by talks or punishments, nothing fazes her!
 
living last decade
Please see whether Lycopodium 200 affects her, if that doesn't she should get Veratrum Alb 200 in the same way after waiting for 15 days.
 
kadwa last decade
Just a note... She seems worse for the moment.

She says she hadn't thought about stealing in a long time but the other day so 'stole' something at a music program (she took food from the kitchen without asking and I saw her so she couldn't lye about it). This week she also lied about her plans for this weekend and I don't think she had lied for a while.

Does that mean the Cina is proving something?
 
living last decade
I am sure Dr. Kadwa's treatment will help. I also feel the child needs to know she is loved and being valued for who she is. Perhaps a few hugs and some time alone with her somewhere away from daily routine would help. Her stealing and lying look like an attempt to grab your (mother's) attention. Taking the dresser out for example would frustrate any 11 year old, perhaps there was a milder, kinder way of dealing with it.
[message edited by sujisuji on Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:44:27 GMT]
 
sujisuji last decade
If it is a cina aggravation, recovery will follow. If it doesn't you may give her Lycopodium. So you may wait for the time being.
 
kadwa last decade
Sujisuji & Hair Loss,

Unless you, yourself have a child that is like this you will not understand how much she is loved and valued and how much I have had to deal with for many years. There is no one that understands. I am unable to talk to anyone about the situation because they say exactly what you are saying.. because they/you know your children (just like our other three children) and you can't comprehend how a child could be that way when they are loved. But, they can. She is.

There are two families in our church where all the children are disrespectful to each other and others around them. When I see that I say, it's the parents. I also realize that is what people think when they see our daughter.. that it must be us as parents. But, in our family it is not all four children, it is only her. It is not us! It's her. All I have every tried to do is help her. I come here to help her and I get blamed!

I didn't say she was unpleasant always, I am simply showing you what she is like the majority of the time, and desire help for her.

Unless you are helping homeopathically I ask that you leave conversation please.
 
living last decade
I apologize for my comments. Good luck with your daughter.
 
sujisuji last decade
I would like to address one more thing.. why I took the dresser out of her room.

As her mother, I often feel I am not doing enough. Not showing her love enough, not spending enough time with her, disciplining her too much or too harshly. When in reality, I spend more time with her than any of her siblings. When comparing action to action I discipline her less than I do the others. When one of her siblings does something wrong, I discipline them immediately, they learn from the discipline and choose not to do the action again.

She on the other hand, if I would discipline her for every wrong action I would be doing it 10+ times a day. I have chosen to only discipline her for the big ones.. so it narrows it down to a few times a month. I do this to make my life easier.

Because she has a tendency to lie, steel and manipulate it feels like I have to keep a constant eye on her. For a year she was taking things from the fridge and food cupboards while I was in the same room as her and I didn't even notice because she was so sneaky. She would hide it in shirt and then rum downstairs to hide it in her dresser.

Taking the dresser out of her room was a way to make things easier on the whole family. So I wouldn't feel I had to keep a constant eye on her every move.

She actually found it a relief. She told me so herself. It took away the urge to hide things in her room because now there were no more hiding places. For a time we also took away her privilege to sleep downstairs alone in her room and after two months we wanted to put her back in her room, she didn't want to go, that is when we sent her sister down with her, to be her room-mate.
 
living last decade
I realize it's been much longer than 15 days since I last posted. Since I last gave her Lycopodium.

There has been no improvement. The dark 'ring' around her neck has gotten worse. I took her to the walk-in clinic a couple of weeks ago to see if they would run some more tests. They did some hormone testing and are testing her cortisol (adrenals). It will be a couple of weeks before we get those results.

Also, it came to me yesterday... something I should tell you.She is a person that lacks all common sense.

She is 13 and always has, willing listened to other people who tell her to do something that people with common sense would not do. When she was 9 she was tripping a girl on the bus, each time she passed by her. I found out because her father came and told me about it. When I asked our daughter why she would do something like that. She responded, the girl beside me told me to do it. And she lacked all expression in her face. She felt no remorse.. she was simply doing what she was told! A couple of weeks ago she was skating with friends and there was a snow ball fight and one of the girls had thrown a snowball into her face. She became upset and told that girl not to do it again. Our daughter then proceeded to make a snow ball, go up to her father, a throw it into his face. When he asked her why she had done that, she simple responded, because 'so and so' did it to me.

So you get a full picture, she always has lacked common sense, or even remorse for her actions. We thought, we hoped she would grow out of it but she has not. She still acts the same way she did when she was three and she is 13.

I'm not trying to put my child down, I'm simply seeking help so she can receive help. She has lost many friendships due to her issues.
 
living last decade
Please give her three doses of Sulphur 200 as follows and see how that affects in next 15 days (only 3 doses in 15 days).

day 1 morning
1st dose

day 1 evening
2nd dose

day 2 morning
3rd dose

One dose means
If the medicine is in pills form 2 pills. Don't touch pills with hand. Use cap of bottle to take pills.
If the medicine is in liquid dilution form, 2 drops in some 20 ml water. Sip up slowly.

Please follow homeo restrictions like no coffee, no raw onion/garlic, no strong perfumes, don't eat or drink anything within 30 minutes before or after taking medicine.
 
kadwa last decade

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