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help. dont know what to do

I experienced more anger on second dose of tarantula. So that I threw papers around from my desk when loosing a game and felt like breaking the keyboard at times.

but nothing much else.

i have no idea whether this could be proving or my symptoms aggravating. Dont know whether I should take another dose or go up to 1M.


hard to judge remedies effect.

I hate how every day of mine is the same and cannot escape and create a change. Get out of this danger which is killing me - Being alone, away from people,no education, no skills etc
[message edited by starface on Sat, 28 Jan 2012 22:55:07 GMT]
 
  starface on 2012-01-28
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
thanks for the reply. This was a bit uncharachteristic of me to feel such way in such situations. Usually I feel such way only about my appearance. Which started a few years ago when I had lots of daily stress by having this huge year long task that I had to complete.

So I dont know whether this is called aggravation or proving. Since I started being angry in situations I usually was not feeling really anger or the need to curse before.
 
starface last decade
ok thanks. But I kind of aggravate/prove almost any remedy. On platina I felt slight orgasm in stomach for example which one of its symptom.

no I havent asked because I think he does not want to help me. but it is all good
[message edited by starface on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 02:58:36 GMT]
 
starface last decade
I dont know. I think I am unmanagable, difficult to work with. So I assume everyone thinks that of me aswell. That they have their reasons because something wrong about me.

Maybe it is true what david said, that I dont let anyone really help me. I dont know. David is right about everything about me.

But at least maybe I am on another good remedy. Tarantula - platina seem to have similarities and both seem good for me.Platina felt deeper as of now but I havent taken a 1M or 10M of tarantula yet. So cannot judge accurately which one has better effect since I never took platina in 200C like I took the tarantula in 200c a week ago for first time.
[message edited by starface on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 05:50:27 GMT]
 
starface last decade
david said I am not platina. that my dreams should of have changed on that remedy but they did not so I assume this than must be true.

I get energy from arguments/battles too.It makes me feel alive again.

Yes I heard of EFT. I overdid it. I did it daily for more than a year about 3 years ago. I was doing it almost all day. My goal was to clear/erase ALL negative memories from past. SO I wont be limited by them ever again and able to live freely. But all changed for the worse from this time of my life. It was a mistake. I did it to intensively. So half a year into doing EFT daily and pretty much nothing else I started feeling more isolated, depressed, got hypochondria, Body Dysmorphia from this period of my life.

SOmething went wrong. I thought it will cure me, but the opposite happened. I got worse. Everything I touch I do it to intensive and than the opposite result happens. another lesson I had to learn I guess. But now I have this new problem also that I cannot do any big tasks that could require effort. I feel overwhelmed instantly and 0 energy.

How did you do EFT? On present issues? Issues in the moment. I did this that way for half a year before
getting the idea to clear all my negative memories and be done with it once and for all... so I thought.
 
starface last decade

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