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Son's behaviour problem, please help

Dear doctors,

I am quite worried about my son's behaviour problems. He is 11yrs old and very intelligent. But now he has become very egoestic. When he wants to do something or does not want to something, we cannot change his mind. Like i forexample i wanted to him revise for school test first before going down, it was to take him 10 minutes at the most, but he said no i will do it later on, i said you wont go down if you dont revise now, he prefered not going for which he was extemely willing and stayed to show his ego. Similarly for other things he shows ego, everytime i first begin with love and effection, then i scold and finally beat him when i lose patience, but nothing changes his decision. In school i get feedback that he is intelligent and good in studies but he distracts himself and other students by doing mischevious things.

He now also gives answers which are not accetable. Like I caught him taking rubber band to school and told him not to take it again. yesterday I asked him in anger if he taken it again after i stopped him as the teacher had complaint in a meeting. He said yes 6 times and i then I him hard.

I would also blame his mother for this as she has scloded and also beaten him when he was very young. She is schizzophronic but not comparitively better after treatment and taks care of the scond son whose 20 monhts old now, much better. But my son has taken an affect of it and now he gives no importance to being beaten as well. I also lose patience sometimes and beat him. Though I never want to do this and want to change him with effection.

Please advice what can be done for him homeopathically. I remember when he was 6yrs old, the school teacher complained of his behaviour and I gave him chamomella which assisted him somewhat. Should this be given to him again.

He is slim and 31kgs now and has recurrent tonsilitis. I tried homeopathy but it did not help for him. Its been 6-7 years now and he gets tonsils with puss points every second month and then only antibiotics help him. We decided now for tosilectomy as i think antibiotics is affecting his health, growth and rise to peevish behaviour plus he misses regular school.

I consider him intelligent as compared to other boys of his age as when he is in a good relaxed mood, he learns his lesson very fast and shows respect for elders.

Please help.

Regards

Inneed
 
  inneed on 2008-03-03
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
yes chamomilla 30c thrice daily for five days then weekly dose for one month
 
akshaymohl last decade
Interesting ..

Chamomilla will not work in cases such as this where there is a history of 'dominantion' and 'physical punishment'.

If I may ask Inneed, how sympathetic is your child ?

And are the abcesses on the tonsils on both left and right tonsils ?

Any digestion issues or any other physical problems ?

Also his egotistical behaviour, does that only come at home or even with people outside ?

Just a suggestion. tosilectomy is a sure way of complicating a case and infact renedering it 'incurable'. Also, please refrain from hitting your child as that is just adding to the problem.

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
With due respect to you as a loving parent:
This looks like a communication issue and an issue of child's understanding (in addition to a possible homeopathic issue). Language is critical. Words are free and can be dangerously used. Only speak with love, only that works. I have an 11.5 year old as well. I have noticed the following has helped a lot: Try it and see:
1. I first praise the child for what's he has done well, and build on that with a suggestion: ' maybe you could do it this way...'. This firstly takes away the domination, my child is able to reason for himself and has become very mature in decision-making.
2. Contact Landmark-Education, a global organization that provides communication effectiveness training. I have used it and so has my child. We communicate from 'listening for other person's strenghts/acknowledging.'
They have free introduction, I am not affiliated with them in any way.

I have never had to raise my hand with my child.
Also, in the big pictire, it does not matter whether your child tied his shoelace (as example) or not. What matters is that he remembers how much you loved him, soon he will be grown-up and then taking care of you in your old age ----> hopefully he will not raise his hand and hit you then.
Good Luck.
 
Hair Loss last decade
Dear Akshay, Sameer and Hair loss, thankyou so much for your contributions. Hair i will try to contact Landmark-Education.

Sameer, my answers to your questions are as follows. However chamomella did work on him when he was young. Akshay please go through the following answers.

If I may ask Inneed, how sympathetic is your child ?
HE IS LESS SYPMATHETIC BUT QUITE MUCH TOWARDS ANIMALS.

And are the abcesses on the tonsils on both left and right tonsils ?
HE USUALLY DEVELOPES IT EITHER ON LEFT OR RIGHT AND THEN GETS IT ON BOTH TONSILS.

Any digestion issues or any other physical problems ?
HE HAS NO OTHER PROBLEMS BUT GET REGULAR MOUTH ULCERS. PREFERS OUTSIDE FOOD THAN WHAT IS COOKED AT HOME.

Also his egotistical behaviour, does that only come at home or even with people outside ?
NO IT IS ALSO WITH PEOPLE OUTSIDE.
 
inneed last decade
Inneed,

Some further questions:

1./) Is he a lazy person ?

2./) Is he indifferent to messy rooms or dirt ? Is he averse to bathing ?

3./) Is he selfish at times ?

4./) Does he have offensive sweat ?

5./) Have you ever noticed him having profuse salivation, with drooling during sleep

6./) Does he feel better in cool weather or warm ?

7./) Is he revengeful or destructive ?

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
Dear Sameer,

here are my answers to your questions.

1./) Is he a lazy person ? Yes he shows laziness when he is asked to do somework like carry things, change clothes, prepare bed etc. But quite active when he is playing games with friends etc. As a child he was hyperactive.

2./) Is he indifferent to messy rooms or dirt ? Is he averse to bathing ?

He is not bothored by a messy room or dirt, but sensitive to sharing drinking glasses etc. He would always wash a glass if used by someone else before using it for drinking.

He shows laziness when has to go for shower bath, but enjoys it a lot. specially if he finds a tub, he would want to take it even twice daily. He loves swimming and bathing in beaches.

3./) Is he selfish at times ?

4./) Does he have offensive sweat ?

No

5./) Have you ever noticed him having profuse salivation, with drooling during sleep.

Not really.

6./) Does he feel better in cool weather or warm ?

He feels quite cold in winter but enjoys it, similarly when it is warm, he must have an ac running in room or fan in full speed.

7./) Is he revengeful or destructive ?
He is not destructive at all. But yes he is revengful mostly.

Regards

Inneed
 
inneed last decade
Forgot to answer point 3,

Yes he is quite a number of times selfish. But does share his things with younger brother by his own choice. If we tell him he wont do it. But when shows his affection for him, he gives his old toys to him. He is attached to him a lot and enjoys being with him.


One thing is that he has a craze to see a training passing by. If in the car, he would bring the side glass down and show extra excitment to see it. Ask me slow down the car etc.
 
inneed last decade
So, can we say that, he shows interest in what he likes and shows total disinterest in things he does not like ?

And, his confidence is good ?

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
Yes Sameer, I totally agree with you. It all depends on his interest.

Like today he had to prepare for his test for tomorrow, he took just 30minutes to finish his work very well as he wanted to go down to play then. Besides his mood was also good.
 
inneed last decade
Okay then, buy Sulphur 30C in pellets or liquid dilution form.

Dissolve 2 pellets (or 2 drops if you buy liquid) of Sulphur 30C in a 500 ml bottle of spring water. If you leave 2 pellets in the bottle for about 20 mins , they will dossolve by themselves. Then, turn the bottle upside down gently a few times for them to shake.

One teaspoon from this bottle using a disposable spoon in 1 dose. No eating or brushing of teeth for 1 hour on either side of this dose. Give him 3 such doses for 1 day only. Space the doses by 2-3 hours.

After this dosage, just wait and watch him closely for 5 days and then report back your status here. Do no throw the bottle , till I tell you to.


Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
And, by the way , you should not even think of tosilectomy as with the right homeopathic remedy , he will forget what tonsilitis is :)
 
sameervermani last decade
Dear Sameer,

Thankyou for your prescription. I will get sulphur and would probably give him on a holiday as all three doses need to be given carefully making sure he has no intake before or after.

Will keep you updated. Regarding tonsilectomy, I have decided to wait till end of may. If homeopathy works for his tonsils, he should not get it by then as he gets tonsils for sure with in two months. He just had it last week and still on antibiotics.I have been giving him ferrum phos as well. I tried homeopathy for about 5 yrs for tonsils, but it did not work. But I sure donot prefer tonsilectomy. I am sure homeo has a solution. Its just the right remedy to find for him.

Thankyou Sameer for your time.
 
inneed last decade
You have to stop Ferrum Phos atleast 5 days before you give Sulphur. Also, it will be good to have a gap of atleast 5 days after anti-biotics before the Sulph. dose.

And, you are welcome.

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
Dear Sameer,

I will stop ferrum phos today but I have to give antibiotic for another 2-3 days. I will then wait for five days and proceed as adviced by you.

thanks alot. Is this remedy also to cover his recurrent tonsilitis.
 
inneed last decade
It might cover tonsilitis as well but we will see . Right now the mental symptoms are to be tackled first. Only then, physical cure is possible.

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
Dear Sameer,

yesterday I gave son sulfur 30 as advised by you. two doses yesterday and third in the morning before school. I couldnt find gap for the third dose.

I will keep a note of his behaviour changes but yesterday evening he also told me about having a little pain in right tonsils.

Today evening he complaints the same and says it is a little more that yesterday. I havent given anything except for gargling with salt water.

I cannot say if this could be an aggravation from sulfur as he was also due to have an infection as the history says since the last time he had it was around 45 days back.

Please advice further.

Regards

Inneed
 
inneed last decade
Please post status in 1 week.

It is too soon to judge.
 
sameervermani last decade
Dear Sameer,

It has been a week now. Son started to develope his tonsil so I had to start antibiotic as could not afford to miss school.

Regarding behaviour issue, generally he is been better but has shown the same ego as before.

Please advice further.

Regards

Inneed
 
inneed last decade
Okay , let me know when he finishes the anti-biotic course.

We will go to next potency then.

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
Dear Sameer,

His antibiotic finished
yesterday.
 
inneed last decade
Now tell me how is he mentally ?

Is there any significant improvement in his behaviour ?

If on a scale on 1 to 10 (10 being the worst before taking sulphur) , you could quantify his behaviour, that would be good .

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade
Dear Inneed,

It is always preferred to deal cases like these by face to face consultation. I had been a victim of email/forums consultation and given the fact that I too had mental health related issues, online consultation didnt led me anywhere.

You should probably look for some competent homeopath in your locality.
 
force1 last decade
Dear Sameer,

Overall I would rate the improvement to 6.

Generally well before past I wouls say.
 
inneed last decade
Okay then, wait for 1 week, and then give a single dose of Sulphur 200C.

Report status 10 days after that dose.

Sameer.
 
sameervermani last decade

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