anxiety-weakness-gas

Name: V Pandey Age: 25 Occupation : Defence City: Hyderbad India
Education: graduate (English) Married children 02 daughters , 01 son.
Ht :171 Wt: 74 kgs
I’m not under the care of any homeopath or any medical supervision.
History:
Respected doc sir. It was april 2006 when I was in the market with my wife, after purchasing vegetables we planned to go back home when suddenly I felt that I was feeling uneasy and I stopped my bike to tell my wife that I was feeling dizzy and a lot of sweat came on my forehead. I halted for a while and moved back home. I went to toilet and freshened up. During that time I was suffering from minor piles. After around 15 days the same feeling I noticed in the market place. The period reduced from month to days and then frequent. The problem became worse. I had intense feelings of fright and weakness. Mind seemed very tired. I would go to toilet multiple of times. A very strong urge for motion would develop whenever I would start to go somewhere. I always tried to go for motion whenever/ wherever I got a chance. But stool was not there except gas. I felt that the coming vehicle would hit me or I will fall down in the parade ground. I always feared something wrong is going to happen.I was in the cafeteria when the horoscope on tv told that people with the saggitarius sun sign would meet unepected death and I left that place . My face had slowly turned pale,eyes wide no energy .In jul 06 I reported to military hospital and diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and treated with fluoxetine 20mg for approximately 1 year. In the month of October my brother expired in a road accident. During my stay at the hospital I got the piles operated and it is fully O.K now. Finally the doctor told me that it is not so serious and I can go back to my duties with the medicine and nothing was so serious. This was now 2007 and I had somewhat got adjusted to the disease rather escaping from situations which I felt would cause me trouble. The problem had always been rather sometimes intense and sometimes faint. Although I knew that the problem was there but I had to carry on with the disease in order to keep my job. I tried to escape from PT and parade and adjust any way from gatherings and meetings fearing that something will happen. Exactly what that something is I have never known. The one thing that has always been there is a fear and the mind going blank as if I was not aware of what I should do, feeling panic, confused going for frequent urine/ stool 08- 10 times before going for my duty, boarding the bus, approaching an officer etc. A lot of tiredness, weakness, low energy , no interest etc. is what I have got. Time slowly passed by and I was not better most of the time, but not complaining to the service doctors/ officers fearing that I be sent to psychiatric ward and things would be bad. Although during all these 4/5 years I had tried to be happy, do something that would boost me, do yoga etc but my duration for each has been very short and I have been sad for most of the time. Just any way passing the time without any charm . I know this is not life but I’ve been carrying it as such. And now it is sep .11

PRESENT CONDITION
My mind seems to be blank and as if it is not working. A strange fear is there as something will happen like as if I am going to faint or that my stomach will be upset and always the stomach fills with air at this times and I feel for urine/motion, I am unable to think that is the mind feels blocked, panicked and confused. At this times there is sweat on my forehead and back. There are no thoughts about anything but a dull feel with fear. I feel sick for years. My brain gets tired and I am not able to perform or think or plan. Physically also my stamina and strength has reduced very much. The face seems as if too much tired and that I have to widen my eyes and stretch my eyebrows to concentrate or see a thing. My throat gets dry at this times but I avoid water as I fear that it causes me urination. For e.g suppose I have to catch a bus tomorrow at ten o’clock then the next morning I will try to evacuate my bowels as much as I can 4-5 times and avoid to take any meals or breakfast just to make sure that I reach safely to the place and then have some food. The most important thought in my mind during the whole jouney is to urinate or evacuate if I get a chance or I will sit silently fearing any talk or movement or ingress of food will lead to discomfort. If a parade is there and I have to go I plan to escape and if at all I have to go I avoid food and water till the parade ends though I know that this leads to more discomfort. A lot of gas forms in my stomach but it does not passes but I have take water and stretch my body and go and sit in the toilet . Once the gas is expelled some relief is there. From where this comes I do not know but in course of time it has become my part. Whenever this feelings are there I try to locate for the toilet and sit there for 10/12 mins to make sure that no urine or motion is there and I can carry on the job for next 1-2 hrs. Although I know that the feeling is false because already I had freshened up nicely in the morning itself but once the anxiety develops it takes over very badly. The normal level of anxiety is always there but suppose I have to go to city after 02 days (where the traffic is too much) the sudden anxiety develops from today itself the tension is from today itself and I plan the move as if it were a very big task. If I am informed that my officer has called upon me then all of a sudden I get the urge for natural call and I will go to the toilet take tobacco and sit there before I report to the officer. There is always a guilty feeling as if I have done something wrong and that I will be punished or insulted. Suppose I am on the parade ground I feel the rifle will fall down. If I am in attention position it is very difficult for me to stand on both legs either I move my finger or my toes or touch my nose or scratch. At this time the anxiety is at its worst. Legs shake on the sight of the officer. Brain confuses, mind shakes as if I will fall for sure and that the natural call gets intensified. I perspire from the forehead and sweat trickles from the backbone leaving me drained of energy and enthusiasm. I am on a constant watch and keep telling that another ½ an hr and that the parade will end and that things will be o.k. After the parade I will deposit the rifle and try for the toilet as it reduces the tension. I have quoted examples of what happens with me and what action I take at that moment. After a parade or rather a escape I feel extremely tired. The state of mind is very bad. I feel very small and timid. I feel cowardly though I believe I am not so but during this periods of anxiety I don’t talk, keep quiet. I just want to lie down after the events or take a glass of water. Face turns pale. Regarding the time I am better at nights compared to day. If I am on motor bike again the worries come. What they are I don’t know but they suck me and if a friend is there those feelings are not so intense. I avoid driving two wheelers with my wife or females fearing that something will happen. This something makes me very weak and puzzled. This problems are more in outdoors and daytimes.
During my talk or a social gathering from somewhere a thought comes and I feel that I should slap the person in front of me. Though I haven’t done so. I don’t feel happy if somebody or a colleague of mine has made a progress. I am extremely jealous and fear to lose and feel very insulted and offended if somebody makes any remark on me or my family and for a day or two my mind just keeps on that matter as to how to avenge and automatically subsides as I calm my mind saying that it is o.k. I have a nice group of around 10-12 people and it is good along with them. These people know that I suffer from anxiety others cannot make it out.
No such trauma or accidents had taken place in my life. Except for the death of my younger brother as before his death I was suffering from the disorder. But when the problem was developing I had the feeling that something is going to be wrong. I don’t recollect any incident that had an impact. There is no certain way that I use to get rid of the anxiety except for visiting the toilet and that to before a journey (long or short), called upon by an officer or on a parade. At other times I avoid it if I can through will power or by saying let us see what happens.


In concern to my habits I have noticed doing my job late or at the peak hrs like leaving for office exactly 5 min before knowing that it takes 6- 7 minutes to reach and reaching there in panic and race. This was not so much in childhood times. I talked less to my parents and was reserved to 2-3 friends and scored very good marks. I had stage fear and had the habit of stammering or would read very fast when asked to speak by the teacher.
I don’t have any special craving for food or drink although I used to consume alcohol regularly before 3 years. Now I don’t because no sooner I take it I feel very bad and guilty. At the same time my mouth becomes sour and lot of acid seems to be formed. If I take tea then also my mouth turns sour and stomach fills with air. I try to avoid oily food or fry food as they cause me problem like gas and sourness of mouth and swelling up of abdomen. Acidity has become very common for me and happens very often along with gas in complete abdomen.
what i have quoted; there is more to it as yesterday i was late because i am not so good at typing. I use tobacco that is gutka which is available at paan shops and that this is for the last 12/13 years approximately 8-10 satchets. parents and people have always told me to leave it but i find it somethings which relaxes me a bitand i always use it once i got to the toilet and if not available i take tobacco.
I am always in a hurry as i delay my job or plan till the twelth hour approaches.during anxiety my heart beat races very much as i feel.
since i was of the age of 15 i got in the habit of masturbation and frequently did it before going for sleep till the age of 25 when i got married.
the time that is worse is when i have to go outside during day time, means i prefer to remain indoors unless the job is very urgent and cant be put for the evening time.there is pain in the lower back bone when i stand for a long time and i have noticed that after a tensed period there is pain at the back of neck and lower back.
there is no food craving and i eat what is cooked. i used to take non veg but very rarely like once in 4-5 months if someone prepares or at a get together.
when i get angry it depends like if at home i throw the things that are in front or damage that thing by striking it against the floor. if ignited by words i hit or prefer so, to the individual but i react dangerously. but if i am not able to do so i plan to hurt him someday. the thought is there for a day or two till another problem comes up.
Sleep is good I mean that I don’t have to struggle but I don’t feel fresh when I get up even if I sleep for 10 hrs.
Temperature now affects me. That is after the disease. To much hot will do but if it is cold I develop rashes. If I bath in cold water or drive a bike below 25deg rashes develop on my face, chest fingers of the hand and feet. If it is raining and I get wet while driving rashes develop. Same is the problem if bath in swimming pool even in summer (which I found this summer).
I am dust sensitive and feel as if weather changes make me ill. Energy levels are poor and I give up easily. Sexual desires not very high but twice or thrice keeps me satisfied.
Dark complex (with oil) looks as if strongly built but calf muscles and biceps are loose and breath out easily that is I cannot run more although I am not obese or fat. I perspire from the forehead mainly and when tensed from palms also.
Odour of sweat is very bad and less of stool and urine.
Colour of stool yellow normal and colourless of urine and sweat

Once I take disprin during headaches (if feel) liitle difficulty in breathing.
i have become a liability to my self and my family suffers because of this. i always seek support from others for small jobs and discuss rather tell my problems to anyone with a hope that something someday will work. Thank you.