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David - Please guide

Hi David,

Will appreciate if you can find some time and have a look at my case.

2003-2007 - single remedy, daily repetition dose
Few times – combination remedy from a homeopath

Have sent a few details on your hotmailid

The remedies which help me time and again are lycopodium, lachesis, Calc Phos, Sambucus nigra. But I don’t know the sequence, potency, right way to take.

I learned bachflower remedies during 03, but I seems to require a lot of remedies 10-15 which defeats the purpose. Plus self analysis is impossible.

I have wasted almost 8-9 yrs of my career in all this. I have a chance right now to pick it up and get into a job in US otherwise I will have to go back to India. I have invested last 4 yrs and lot of money in my US education.



Physical features
===========
Silky hairs
Tall-6’2 weight-178lbs age-28
Eyes sunken, dark circles around eyes, Fine wrinkles under eye
Teeth cavities since childhood,
No muscles on shoulders and arms, slight belly
Bites nail,


General nature
=========
I think a lot and am lost in my thoughts,
When I have to face the situation, A feeling of lack/inadequacy comes up strongly
In front of others I am always confident, strong

I dont even tell all the fear, worries, issues to my parents, I discuss with only one person in my life
I am compliant to all, likes to help others, cant say no to them,
Not assertive in my own life, Shirks from responsibility
Doesn’t have a sense of priority, responsibility, sense of career

I like meditation in general, have learned reiki (energy healing) and I do it sometimes. In last few months crunch situation has come up that I have to face all the reality and get a job. Anxiety, fear, concern, worry has increased, I have started praying a lot (2hrs daily).


Main Problem
==========
1. What exactly happens?
- Strong Anxiety, Strong Worry, Fear of future, Indecision, Delay, Fear
- Cant seem to find courage, confidence, motivation, enthusiasm
- Makes plan, Schedules and self critical
- Cant stay alone, wants someone to be near (roommate comes in evening so I am bit comfortable, In daytime I keep Television on)
- Gets fearful a lot as the future seems uncertain, gets fearful/anxious with next things to do

-

2. Describe all sensations and pains. Each pain or sensation should be described in such a way that allows us to imagine having the same pain.
- Strong indecisiveness, cant make up my mind, gets confused a lot,
- I naturally think a lot, in My thoughts I jump form topic to topic

3. What causes the problem to get worse after it has started occurring?
- Thinking more about any issue, I have to completely give up

4. What creates some relief for the problem?
- Giving up, Delay, not confronting the issue,

5. What triggers the problem into occuring?
- When I have to start the studies, its must situation now
- Face the whole issue of being assertive to hunt for job, give interviews and handle job

6. What time of the day or night does the problem occur?
-


7. When did the problem start? What was happening in your life at that time? Did some specific event or treatment take place just before the problem started?
- Till last 2-3 yr I have delayed facing the responsibility, lost in my thoughts
- Now I have to step up finish the studies, be assertive and confident and get a job asap. The stakes are too huge as my parents have invested a lot in my education. I have failed and sufferent emotionally so many times that I have gone motivationally flat. I will be 29 in sep and
- I am immature, non assertive, lack motivation, non assertive



Incidents
======
1. Parents lack of warmth
During 98-00 parents did push me a lot a in terms of expectation in studies, also I couldn’t rise up to the moment and consequently there was lot of friction and I blames them for almost a year. That year I was angry, hurt, sad, blaming them was sort of therapeutic I guess for me.

2. Repeating the year with new batch
I failed a year during a year in Engineering and (reason – repeating pattern mentioned below) last year I had to attend classes with the junior batch. That was a sort of humiliating experience.

3. Girlfriend breakup
When I graduated my GF broke up and I was emotionally hurt for almost 1-2 yrs

As of now all the above 3 things have absolutely no effect
I can definitely say that I do seek some sort of care/concern, it does feel good if someone asks how am I feeling. There is a element of self pity and expectations. I do have lot of discontentment in general form life itself.


Repeating pattern in my life
=================
- I am busy in my mind, delay, laziness
- When I have time I delay, dream and over-plan (as in besides the current stuff I can do more)
- When its time to start the effort, delay and planning gets more, no implementation/work
- When its crunch time its confusing, chaotic, anxiety, worry for me
- With lot of issues, anxiety I face the exams, results fail or barely pass


How I deal / Stuck in
=============
- Cant tolerate the worries, future concerns,
- Anxiety and apprehension is very real
- I always give up
- have developed a escapist attitude (its been 9yrs with this issue)


Physical aliments
===========
Around 2004 I got a anal fissure, once a year it flares up a little


Schooling
=======
Nature - Timid, shy, self conscious
Never liked studies, used to delay and study before exams only

During schooling 7-10class used to look upto achievers (rankers) in senior class
In my own batchmates used to feel a bit jealous with the toppers. (I was also good 4-5rank)
Infact was bit jelous with anyone who had some special talent, secretly used to want that talent
Had big dreams in terms of excellence, like topping competitive exams

Increased Sexuality since childhood, used to masturbate a lot, Imagination,
I dont think I had seen anything like this anywhere but I naturally made a fantasy plot with vamps, leathers, whips. The theme was around sexuality, tease, sweet misery sort of thing.
Had a strong imagination

Parents were nagging as all they could talk was that I should be ranked no1, life is tough and I will have to slog to crack competitive exams, no mater the good results, it was never good enough.


After 1998 we moved to a big city and new schooling
==============================
- When I landed in new city/college. The students were much more brilliant than me or atleast I thought so, there the low self image / feeling of lack became a bit strong. Had to justify self image with some big talks/faking around.
- Didn’t study as I thought I could manage at the end, at end it becomes too much
- In 12 in India we have to sit for lot of competitive exams
- Dreaming of excellence, Planning (time table,)
- Screwed up final examinations big time


Engineering
=======
- Somehow managed to get admission in a engg college in a small city
- Had a superiority sense that I am form a big city
- Lazy, not serious, will manage later attitude in first year
- Dreamed/tried to do too much things in second year
- Could never engage with task on hand, will do later attitude, when crunch time comes it seems indominatable/mental weariness.
- Dropped one year as could muster courage to face lot of backlogs.

- With GF, was over convincing, too critical, short tempered
- I think I covered my low self image by bossing her around
- somehow managed to finish engg and came back to hometown, was sort of ashamed as I lost one yr, didn’t apply for any proper jobs


Masters
=====
- Gave gre and got 95percentile and came for MS in 2007
- New place, new people,
- enrolled myelf in too many things, couldn’t manage anything
- was not as brilliant as others, had a sense that they are brilliant
- became anxious/ fearful as job hunt requires lot of assertivness and I felt that I am not upto it

- enrolled in some coaching, laziness, delay, wasted 1-2 yrs
- got a small time job and I had a sense that’s its below my level, a tthat time I was given sulphur and lachesis picture emerger and out of ego/ hating authority / big dreams/ plans I left that job.
- after leaving I again delayed the courses I was supposed to finish
- no focus, motivation, perseverence


Specifics
======
1. The specific foods that you crave (not just like) or hate
- No strong craving or hating in food
- Weakness for sweet, so I always try to control/avoid

2. The specific drinks that you crave or hate
- I Dotn drink much water
- Like only luke warm drink, water no ice

3. What your sleep is like
- Thoughts in mind while going to sleep, cant break thoughts in morning, sleeps a lot,
- not fresh in morning, sadness in morning, sometimes really gloomy in morning,

4. How the weather and the temperature affects you
- Cant tolerate winter/snow/cool draft of air at all (last 4 mts it snowed here)
- Likes warm-hot climate with no moving air
- Whenever there is sunny outside I feel better/good, if there is No sun outside (it was winter/snow for last 4 mts and I was sad, anxious)

- Hands and legs are mostly cold, cant tolerate even slight cold,
- I love hot baths, generally I am averse to bathing.

5. What kinds of things in the environment you are particularly sensitive to
- Doesnt like loud sound/tv sounds at times, gets irritated

6. What your general level of energy is like
- Medium to low only, gets tired easily,
- Avoid all kinds of physical activities.

7. What your level of sexual energy or desire is like
- Sexual energy/desire is strong and gets influenced easily
- I dont have a partner, engage in lot of masturbation
- Easily aroused with sexual imagery on television


Nature traits
========
1. likes to advise others a lot
2. makes friends easily
3. interested in religious/philosophical literature.
4. Meditation, prayers
5. strong sense that something is wrong with me that needs to be set right, I need to be energized form inside so that I can do all my work.
6. have always looked upto toppers/achievers, what they do, how they do,
7. I get influenced with others advise easily, esp if the news is negative I get fearful/doubtful
8. When I study I dotn understand the content easily and after sometime the brain just freezes
9. I give too much attention to details/trivialities, so overall context gets lost
10. Self consciousness is high
11. I have never attended any classes seriously, attitude that I can manage in a better way on my own later on.



Following are my experiences with the remedies

1. Sambucus nigra
This remedy is not well represented in materia medica very well. From little I read about it - I do think in terms of visuals, even with my eyes open the thinking process involves images, when I close the visuals are strong, I have lot of fears. This helps in relaxed and easy breathing.

2. Lycopodium
It helps a lot when I am too worried, indecisive, feels lack in self, self conscious, lost in details. General anxiety with regards to future.

3. Lachesis
Helps to address anxious apprehension, hurried thinking in mind, excess in masturbation, gloomy mornings, pain in thighs

4. Calc Phos
Helps when I have high sense of discontent,
I can stimulate to work at normal capacity in things which interest me (very few), strong aversion to mental work/study. I can always use mind well when I read the books which interest me (bach flower, Buddhism, Religious text) cant seem to use mind when I have to study text book for subjects. Intolerant to cold wet weather.


Cant get up in morning, not fresh in morning, many times the sleep completes and lot of dream start in morning and its difficult to break away form them.
 
  Spark12 on 2011-05-04
This is an internet forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Ok I will pick out the points I found interesting and worth exploring a bit more. Try to tell me as much about them as you can, I need to understand what they are about for you.

When I ask about a single word you have used, define it for me, give me other words for it, and describe the experience of it.

Some of these questions might have the same answers. If you want to add anything though, do so.

Be verbose, be descriptive, be imaginative.

1. Describe more on 'lost in my thoughts'

2. Describe more on 'lack'.

3. Describe more on 'sense of priority'

4. Describe the feeling of being alone.

5. Describe 'confusion'.

6. Describe your thoughts.

7. Describe the experience of 'giving up'.

8. What happens when you start studying?

9. Tell about 'failing so many times.'

10. What does an exam feel like for you?

11. Are there periods when you are not giving up? What are you like then?

12. Tell me about rankers, achievers, special talents, toppers.

13. Talk more about people being above, below, at different levels. Tell me about that in society.

14. When do you give up, at what stage?

15. Talk more about 'being energized from the inside'.

I think I have a good idea of where to start, but let me see what else you can give me.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 7 years ago

Have sent a mail to you also on hotmaiid, it has some key details, hope you got it.


=================
Feeling/Behaviour questions
=================

1. Describe more on 'lost in my thoughts'
5. Describe 'confusion'.
6. Describe your thoughts.

Thoughts – I think a lot, constant thinking, jumping form topic to topic, generates a lot of ideas, many a times I am sitting in class/ watching tv and mind will be thinking something else, I even talk to myself mentally. If I am imagining a scenario (suppose I met you, what you asked, what I answered) naturally the concentration n absorption is poor. In Movies or lectures my mind wanders a lot.

Lacks Focus, clarity, not being able to pick up whole context and theme, if I concentrate I get lost in details. Mind itself talks, chatters, random chatter, if I sit in lecture I do get confused.

I am away from reality, many times I think in terms of visuals/imagination. Even while writing these answers it took me almost 2hrs. and my mind produced 2-3 brilliant ideas, constant talking, 5-7 visual memories, 5-7 future scenarios, 5-7 plans, radio at the back ground provides company and I have to raise my concentration/focus level. Future senarious/imagination, like talking to someone, explaining something to someone. All the future scenarios are rosy.


2. Describe more on 'lack'.
Lack is the sense of lacking confidence, courage, surety from inside, being small/not as good as compared to other people. I am not as good as others. When a challenge comes up, I hesitate, I will not be able to do it.

This mixed sense of lack (courage, confidence, surety, uncertainity – easily gets into anxiety, worried, fearful domain) I can feel in my chest, solar plexus. Many a times I have noticed that I dotn breath deep and relaxed, I sort of tend to pull my solar plexus back inside a bit. Anxious and nervous.

This lack of trust is there for life, future in general also, if someone could assure me that I am safe, secure and taken care of. Simply writing this line down I can feel a big sign and relief. (I am safe, secure and taken care of)

Like right now I have got into some issues in terms of paperworks and I have delayed it for months
In this senario I lack Confidence, courage, surety and assertiveness, I am fearful, apprehensive, uncertain. Besides Lack there is also a huge indecisivness, so procrastination is huge.

Todays example
1. I saw some videos on you tube of a talented paino player, was moved by his music, imagined as If I was that good in school and how much people appreciated/loved me. That is “talent/success”

2. Read a profile of some senior wikipedia business head, he can speak 3-4 languages, has held top positions in lot of companies. I was impressed. These kind of examples are lot.


3. Describe more on 'sense of priority'
This is not a feeling, but a theoretical statement that I lack sense of priority/urgency/mustness of a situation. I have never been able to implement my plans for whatever issues. I get busy in lot of other things in my mind. (traits I think I need to implement the plans is focused mind, non-overenthusiasm, starting, comprehension, courage, confidence, surety)


4. Describe the feeling of being alone.
I dont share my inner feelings with anyone, projects an image of confidence and plan to my friends also. My issues I keep to myself.

If feel comfortable if there is TV, radio, some noise in background. Whole day I am alone since roommate goes to work, when apprehension, fearful state comes then I definitely want someone around.

I live with my close friend for last 10 yrs, talk daily to one person who is like my elder sister, she is the only one who I share exact feelings, She is also a Reiki master (she send healing whenever I gets really worried). Even I am a reiki second degree channel but somehow I am not regular in meditation and moreover I doubt that I can heal myself.


12. Tell me about rankers, achievers, special talents, toppers.
Since childhood I appreciated the seniors who were excellent in studies, I always wanted to know what they do, how they do, wanted to be like them, basically impressed by them. I was not that friendly to my batch toppers, there was a underlying sense “he is better than me”, not competitiveness but “sort of I have to compare/justify myself to him internally”

Even from childhood if someone was good at tennis, guitar, stage performance, I secretly used to wish to be like that, in fact better than him. Will engage in imagination.

There were 2 category of excellent people – one who were friendly to me, with them I sought to be accepted, mingle, sort of measure up (feeling “I am like them”). With the other category who were not close /friends with me I downplayed them in my mind (feeling “wow he is good, I wish I was like him, bit jealous also, but in some areas he is idiot”)


13. Talk more about people being above, below, at different levels. Tell me about that in society.

I appreciate people who are Decisive, assertive, motivated, successful. This is the I had image of successful people and I wanted to emulate those traits. I guess I never had originality, no assurance from inside, I was always emulating or pushing mentally (planning, imagination). This is the only kind of people I am interested in as I want to be like that.

In my relatives there are few who have there own company, who are at senior management positions, I appreciate them in terms of traits.

I never denigrate any other people, infact I am extremely friendly with all, make friends easily, like to help and advise anyone who need something.

In society
- Successful people have lot of internal traits well developed (both nature and nurture), if anyone can get in that zone he will be successful (earlier this meant high position, high salary only but with age I have learnt balance in individual is more important, lot of other qualities like passion, enthusiasm, satisfaction are necessary, now I carry a more balanced point of view.)
- I feel deeply for poor/ down trodden people.
- I can pick up/read on other peoples feelings.


==============
Stage related question
==============

14. When do you give up, at what stage?
The stage description thing is very crucial to my personality, it got repeated in
1. higher schooling, 2. Engineering, 3. Masters, 4. After masters (its been 8yrs).

1. Dreamy, lot of plans of achievements (high targets, am able to figure out all the means to reach them, theoretical plan is perfect, more detailed than probably necessary)
2. When time comes to start – I delay, too much to do, mental weariness, cant focus,
3. When the time is slipping, I adjust the plan, schedules and maintain the sense of control and security.
4. When its crunch time, I get anxious, worried, try to read it all (too much, too fast, gets lost in details, not even a average preparation, confidence zero) In engg was not able to do this last ditch effort also and kept papers for next semester for reappearance consequently had huge backlog and next semester didn’t write any papers and failed a yr
5. After the exam if I fail I naturally get depressed, self critical, if there is some bad consequences I get apprehensive, fearful and I get in my shell of not fighting back (normally also I am not assertive)
6. Next time another plan

On the emotional side, I get discouraged easily,
I never give up consciously


15. Talk more about 'being energized from the inside'.
- feels weak in morning, cant get up promptly
- if a work comes along, feels like wow man lots to do, can see n feel the whole effort involved
- when I have to start a work/study It feel like too much effort
- Intellectual but physically activity zero


### Why I am not able to implement my plan?
- I produce a lot of plans, revised plan, fine tuned plans.
- Delay habit is there from before
- Actual doing seems tiring, too much to do, feels not upto it, might not be able to do
- On rare occasion when I start I am able to more than I thought
- When I do I face low comprehension, hurried, confusion, stuck in details, unsurety leads to zero confidence (This is the KEY traits)

8. What happens when you start studying?
Comprehension skills are poor, when I try to read a passage I cant absorb/understand it. Reflection and reasoning in not there. Natural tendency is to hurry a bit also.

In few minutes the brain freezes and the comprehension hits zero, if I push I can only get lost in details and overall context is lost. Brain gets slow and its waste of time.

While reading also I get confused as I am not able to follow a line of reasoning and mentally I zig-zag.

If I get a book I am really interested in I can manage to stimulate my brain juices to do a better job, but its hard doing this also now. I have almost exhausted my interest areas and now after 6 yrs reality needs more attention.



10. What does an exam feel like for you?
Exam – last proper exam I gave was in may 08
My preparation before exam is poor and the unsurety leads to zero confidence, there is nothing to fight in terms of exam its more salvage whatever you can.

The same situation will come up for the implementing the plan I am in now. I will have to face interviews, job in 1-2 months.


7. Describe the experience of 'giving up'.
In a way I have never given up on dreams, I have failed to implement plans, dragged through after math of emotional sadness/depression. I have become more discouraged, hopeless but ifyou ask me do I think I can make it in my life. I will say Yes but I need some support.

I have always changed my areas (engg- electronics, masters-finance, trying to get job area1 – SAP FICO (2008), next area – Oracle Fin (2010) now- (2011)). This has definitely developed more non assertiveness and flatness in my nature.

After masters the cycle
Put a plan out – Fail to implement – change to a better plan (I will have to implement, face the interviews, justify the grand plans, learn the stuff)

9. Tell about 'failing so many times.'
No emotional baggage about this, my sense of superiority is strong. Its just the same pattern has repeated and I missed on huge opportunities in 12th, Engg, MS. Its just that I lost lot of years (7), I just want to get in the best job possible, I have a definite plan and I just need to execute it and I will land a job in 150K area (its challenging but possible) and then see from there.

Maybe because of bach flowers I have been able to objectify the aspects, my focus has been to solve the traits. In this quest of mine I have learned lot of behavioral traits/aspects from inside. I have learned Buddhist philosophy, hindu philosophy. (not much but I like to believe that I am much more balanced as a individual)


11. Are there periods when you are not giving up? What are you like then?

I never gave up, I got in mess, got anxious, sad, depressed but somehow came out of the situation (sometimes took yrs).

Right now I have to invest a lot in order to have one more shot at getting a job in US, its been 4yrs and my friend who could not get a job here left 1-2 yrs back. I do get sad, anxious, depressed but some how my plan is always objective and good.

Current plan
- Study 2 areas perfectly (will have to cram a lot at a high level) (may)
- Start giving interviews and justify the knowledge (june)
- When my status starts get on a job (aug)
- Learn everything on job (Sep-Dec)


# Some others areas of my personality
- Something is wrong, impure about me that needs to be set right,
- Self perfection, used to read self help books in colleges, success books, learned bach flower
- Have always analyzed people n terms of their behavior traits.


=============================
There is another track – “Emotional seeking”
=============================
- In childhood I feel I didn’t get proper affection and care from parents, agreed they were pushy on studies/marks but even I couldn’t take “do this” kind of sentences easily. I was a bit rebellious and non-listening.
- in Higher schooling I had 3 friends (girls) whome I used to see as my emotional support for almost 2 yrs, it was just my imagination only, I was just another friend to them.
- In engg I had a GF, so the emotional seeking was not there, surprisingly I used to be bossy, over convincing, shouting at her, blaming her for my issues, when she left I was hurt and dejected for 2-3yrs.
- In masters I tried to get close to a girl, helped her in lot of ways, she got another BF, I ended up playing role of personal advisor.
- We can add emotional, romantic, and stupid as my characteristics.
- In all these scenarios I have played a role of sort of care/concern/father (care, concern, advise, critical, expecting, getting hurt) Bach flower – chicory dynamics



========
Bach flowers
========

In terms of bach flowers, to sum up
1. Non confrontation nature, Shrieking from responsibility, not learning from life – Agrimony, Chestnutbud
2. lacks Practicality, no clarity, no overenthusiasm – Clematis, Whitechestnut, Vervain
3. No Doing, Starting work, InDecisiveness – Hornbeam, Schleranthus,
4. Discouraged easily - genetian
5. Lacks Surety, no Confidence, Getting lost in details – Cerato, Larch, Crab apple
6. Discontentment, lacks “I have to do this” – Willow
7. Emotional seeking, affectation – Chicory
8. Timidity, Apprehension – Mimulus, Aspen


Bottomline question
1. What do i feel right now and need right now?
I feel lack, no courage, less surety, worry, apprehension, Mind thinking in images, fear in chest, no confidence, Focus

#
Once my homoepath 03-07, had given me a remedy that changed me dramatically. The good effects of that were as follows.
- I became physically active, long walks
- Completely in present and practical
- Deep breathing, courageous, sure, confident

Think that was sambucus nigra
After that remedy I had told him that I need to develop comprehension skills. I remember I joined a coaching class for GRE exam and while reading comprehension passages I could absorb/understand them.



=======
NOTE ===
=======

I wrote the above in the morning
#
Writing this much and viewing my life objectively in itself has been therapeutic and not only I can clearly see the pattern but I can see the changed state within me also. (I have been working with bach flowers for almost 5-6 yrs and have developed sensitivity and familiarity with these states/mindsets within me)

I understood myself better.

You can ask me any question you want.
 
Spark12 7 years ago

bump
 
Spark12 7 years ago

I always had a fear of heights, in 98 we moved to a flat on 15th floor, i could never go near window and peep down.

My mind always engages in thinking worst case senarios, like imagining car crash, feeling impulse to jump in water body. its kind of funny that it happens automatically

I always eat less, but After a good meal i feel sleepy.

Let me know what you see in my case.
 
Spark12 7 years ago

I am looking at it, takes a few hours to analyze.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 7 years ago

I am glad the process has been good for you, I find that my patients say this in clinic as well. What many people do not realise, is that a well taken, detailed case actually has more uses than choosing a remedy. It is almost like a counselling session, and can produce some change just from being done.

I actually believe that the remedy you would benefit from is Vanadium metallicum. If you could get 200c and let me know when you have it, so I can instruct you on dosage.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 7 years ago

I did gain clarity for myself after writign the case.

1. will this objectivity help you in any way if i list the central areas.

2. Is there any place i can read about vanadium metallicum,

3. may i ask how you land on this small remedy like this in my case. do you remember all 5000+ ?

4. If you are sure should i order 1m also?
 
Spark12 7 years ago


[message deleted by idra23 on Tue, 17 May 2011 03:15:43 BST]
 
idra23 7 years ago

Group analysis
Hesitating to put their abilities into practice.
Tortured by the idea that they can fail.
Alternately working and not working.
Postponing their task.
Tortured by their perfectionism.
Evading their task.
Success alternating with failure.
Strength alternating with weakness.
Preparations for the job.

Picture of Vanadium
Essence: Hesitating to put their abilities into practice.
--Hesitating to put their abilities into practice -
Although they have made a choice about what they are going to do, they still keep wondering whether this is what they really want. They make plans and they feel a strong urge to do well, but in the back of their mind there is always the question: 'Will I manage?' This continuous doubt is very strong, and manifests itself in all areas of their life: 'Did I choose the right profession?' 'Am I intelligent enough, good enough, beautiful enough?'.
Tortured by their fear of failure
Always this nagging doubt: 'I probably won't make it'. Always the same theme that they will probably make mistakes, be blamed, fail their mission etc. It also comes back in their dreams where they just miss the train, or can't find the telephone. They don't want to take responsibility for their choice because they feel they will fail anyway. And when they do fail they feel very guilty.
The cause usually lies in the way they have been brought up. Their father is successful and very strict. The child gets the message that he must do everything he can to please other people, particularly his parents. He should be good and kind and successful. The child doesn't dare to resist and tries his best to live up to this picture of the perfect child. They don't even know what or who they are doing it for, they are just trying to be good and successful. Inevitably they lose connection with who they are and what they want for themselves. The message of 'be successful' may have been slightly ambiguous in itself, in the sense of 'but don't you dare be more successful than your father!'

Tortured by their perfectionism -
Their goals are usually very high, a bit too high! They want to be good, even perfect, and want to achieve something big. But their ideals are almost impossible to live up to. They never feel they have done enough; they can't find a realistic goal to work towards.
Success alternating with failure
'Success' and 'failure' are two key phrases they use a lot. It is typical of Vanadium that success and failure follow each other in rapid succession. They want to be successful, so they start off with great dedication which leads to initial successes. But their goals are impossibly high, coupled with a deep-down feeling that they cannot or should not succeed, so sooner or later this success is followed by failure.
They may also be afraid to succeed, because if you succeed your next goal should be even higher and this could prove to be too much.

--Evading their task -

When they think they can't reach the goal they have in mind they may give up altogether. If they can't succeed anyway they might as well sabotage the whole job and fail properly. Throwing all their old principles overboard they will turn round and make a complete mess of it.
But knowing that they have really spoilt it now, the old urge to succeed begins to play up again. And so it goes on in a vicious circle. Once they realise the sort of pattern they are in, rather than breaking it they may feel it is not worth carrying on. Any success leads to failure again, so why bother?

--Alternately working and not working -

The same theme can be seen in their job, alternately working and not working. One day they will be on time, the next day they are late. Nothing ever reaches a conclusion; the job is always postponed to the next day.
Strength alternating with weakness
Another duality you often hear them talking about is 'strength' and 'weakness'. They feel they have to be strong, but they are afraid of doing things wrong and therefore turn out to be weak. This lack of self confidence makes them indecisive. Their very high ideals are bound to lead to failure anyway, like the junkie who wants to stop taking drugs but feels that he can't suddenly stop, so he won't try.
They are usually a bit weak and nervous. They are easily influenced and don't quite know what to do. They would rather not grow up so as not to have to take responsibilities. The other side of this picture is someone who is very stubborn and carries on regardless with his plans. It is usually the small unimportant things they want to push through. It gives them a feeling of strength. They might get into the habit of thinking up little rules about the things they should and should not do. It gives them some sort of grip on the situation.

--Postponing their task -

They want to prepare thoroughly for the task ahead. They often feel they haven't done enough ground work, they haven't looked at all possible angles of the job yet. So before they make a start they had better look at the whole thing once more. In other words, the job gets postponed. You could say that this means they have failed, but on the other hand you can't fail if you haven't even started, so once again we have this duality.

Alternating control: anorexia - bulimia

There is a strong tendency towards anorexia and bulimia. Here we find the same themes again: feeling good when you have succeeded, feeling bad and guilty after a binge. The binges are a way of compensating for the lack of warmth and support. The same goes for other addictions they may have.

--Expressions -

Fears: failure, criticism, opposition, observed, anticipation, being late, missing the boat, arteriosclerosis, cockroaches.
Dreams: being late, missing the train, futile efforts, paralysis.
Mood: alternating, happy on success, gloomy on failure; soft, yielding, easily influenced, easy crying; hard, desire control, obstinate agg. trifles, restless.
Mental: manic depressive psychosis, anorexia alternating with bulimia.
Contacts: warmth, company.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 7 years ago

Lol I wish I knew 5000 remedies. How much easier my job would be.

No there are systems in place to remember groups of remedies, to identify those groups by themes, which means I can narrow my research somewhat.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 7 years ago

wow i am moved by the description.

1. Is this the ian scholten group analysis or some other analysis.

2. Do you want me to order 1m also.
 
Spark12 7 years ago

Please see above ques.

I have read the detailed description u gave above (hope u didnt type it, did u?), it feels too right. i am in sort of disbeleif.

Uptill now i was under impression that the main remedies are the only thing. The old school was right and new school is wrong. have read a lot over internet and mostly its all critical about the new teachers and new approach.

Why there are no strong proponents of the expanded/new system?

i am sort of amused.

cant thankyou enough, and cant kick myself enough for not touching base with you earlier.
 
Spark12 7 years ago

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