I don't know what to do not.

Id: dragonfly 1976
sex: F
age:34
traums: my Dad died when I was 9 years old, Mother soon after abandoned me and my two sisters. lived with family here and there. Me(9 yrs) and my younger sister who was 7 then was Raped by my uncle. Played mind games bounced around, my sisters and I were separated from one family members to the others. soon after placed in orphange with my sisters in Korea.

Adopted to U.S.-family had money. Adopted mother was not loving,( used to say..I adopted you because I wanted someone to clean my house)( I did not have any relationship with my Mother until maybe a year ago. I decided to email her on a regular bases.)and Father and Mother relationship was uneasy,with many years of fighting, and yelling.. they got a divorce. It was very stressful to be living like this. Since then I have married. and My Father has remarried as well. He has changed since then.-not loving towards me like he used to be. I have not spoken to him for two years. I used to work with him, side by side with him everyday. He owns a business, I became a manager. I asked for more money and raise. He said no..I wasn't worth it. so I left. I now help my husbands business. and I volunteer my time. I have gone through another trauma with my husband. who disapointed me greatly. My youngest sister had TB, and I invited her to my home to cure her and pay her bills. and I worked many hours to pay her bills. Meanwhile I was at work, I found out that my husband and youngest sister was going out to dinners and sightings. I found many notes saying I love you and so forth to each other. Then I had a brake down. Illness settled.
I've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,had been in bed for many years could not do a thing. Until I found my hoemopathy practitioner. and Licen Plantus. Used homeopathy remedies.
I used medical steriods creams and pills not knowing I would regret it. I was given homeopathy remedy to cancell that.
I am very sensitive person since I have overcome many of course with the help of homeopathy.

forgiveness has come. I am ok with myself now.
I don't know what is next for me.

age: I'm 34 yrs.
Sex:Female, no kids, married for 13 years.
food: I love ice cream, fruit,rice, spicy food and love garlic. sometimes I crave pasta.I love all kinds of seafood.
I hate chicken
work: business owner.
I keep my nairs short.
describing self:
I'm Asian,(Koran)
I have long black hair, dark brown eys.
short, and have small hands and feet. I wear kids shoe sizes.
I like to watch people. I'v been called nosy because I got to look around all the time. I got to know what's going on, here and over there.
I favor to sleep on my stomach, and right side. when I sleep on my right side my knees are up to my chest. I like to Prop up my head, tuck in the corner of the pillow where my head is( so my head is higher)
Strangely, since my real Dad died. I have picked my nose at times until it bleeds. I can't stand anything in my nose. I have to check it inside all the time.
I would be ok, to stay at home all day, everyday. I do go out for errands and things when I do I want to go out to do them with my husband. I do not wish for things like going shopping. I am very tight with my money.I know every cent and dollars, where it went.
I like to exercise and weight train.
I feel fat. I gain a lot of weight since my illness and steroids. my weight used to be around 105 now 131. I had to change and up my size which distress me greatly still. (people have called me even to ask if I was expecting.)

I took Aconitum Napellus 30c. It made me weepy and somehow wanting to write this info. down.


I don't know if this is good sign or bad.

I took Staphsagaria 200c as prescribed. I have it on hand at all times.

Just to let you know that I have taken Staphsagaria 200c for over two years on and off.

I was told by my previous practitioner NOW I only need to take it when I am feeling angry.

Mimmulus bach flower remedy, I will get tomorrow.

update:

Last night..Right after I took Staphsagaria 200c, had lg. bowel movement.

I have slepted more then 12 hrs. and I think I can sleep some more.

question:
I don't understand how I got into Staphsagaria state.
the only thing I could think of is from stress. I husband has been ill, caught a terrrible knee effusion(left Knee) went to ER dr.in hospital dranied the fluid, got staph infection from it that needed to be operated on and he had to stay in the hospital.

this is for my husband.
male, 42 height: 5ft 11inches. weight:173
had knee effusion (left Knee)
had staph infection was on four different antibiotics to kill it. had surgery as well to remove the staph. holding fluids. He is complaining of not able to have a full, deep sleep.
He has lost color, look sick.
Does this call for Arnica? if so what dose?
Thank You!

I have made a new post for my husband.
Sorry for the confusion.

I'm posting my updates tonight.... I love to write. So, Thank You for reading my novel and understanding my frame of thought. and PLEASE help this poor soul. -plese tell me what I am doing wrong regarding dosing myself etc.. I will accept it with open arms. I have no teacher,practitioners, and nor Dr's. that I can turn to regarding Homeopathy in my neck of woods.

first week- 2/10/10 did not notice much difference


I think I'm fat, I think I have too much fat/fluid around my stomach area.

Staphsagria 200c
had a night mare and woke up at 4am and went back to sleep at 5:30am. when I woke up at 4am, I remembered I was very angry. It was from the dream, when I was dreaming I was angry.

first dose..
bowel movement good,appetite that is same as usual. I was very, VERY tired in bed or on the couch... did nothing that week.

found out My husband's friend told us has cancer and on chemo and Dr's told him, he has three years.
I tried to talk hime into homeopathy. It took all night with the conversation. He opened up to us regarding his traum's. I gave him the homeopathy questionair from ABC Homeopathy from someone's post, told hime to fill it out.
took all my energy.

2nd week- 2/18/10 took another dose

developed zits on my right temple size 2' x 2' in patch and some TTHICK skin patch on my right lower back of my head just touching my neck part. about 5'x 4' it was ichy.
developed sore throat, runny nose. Nose ran like a faucet. didn't stop (both sides)

went to gym to wait train very hard, I may have pushed myself.
Next day, 2/19/10 developed terrible muscle ache.
this is where I think I went wrong. because I did this on my own, on try and error bases.

heard from my credit card company someone charged up mega amounts of things on my credit card from the country of
Columbia.

nerves got shot, panic like.
I get very upset when I get taken.
I watch my credit card, and my money like nobodies business. I don't like to use them.
but I give to others very freely.

Though, I always pay when I go out to a resturant with my family. and I have no problem with that because they are family. my sisters are younger then me. I have one stepsister who is older, with three young kids and I help out as much as I can.
I am very good and gentle with them because of my pass.

I took Arnica 30c,nat phos 6x, I wanted to sleep so bad from my muscles ache.

2/20- cough still at present,

remembering I had coughs like these all the time. In fact I had a few in pass months ( I've tried Nat mur 200 in the pass and worked..I think???)
I did not want to wake my husband up so I went and slepted on the couch. did not sleep well. coughed and coughed from my chest, some deep barking like. nose still runny. going through paper towels to wipe them. The paper towel is wet like I ran through the faucet to wet it.

still couhing through the day and night. took NyQuil for cold and flu meds. Hope to sleep and stop the cough took Bryonia 30c. stop cough for now??? or not as harsh.

I am suppose to take my third round of staphsagaria 200c on coming Wed. 2/24/10.

I hate being on staphsagaria state. Always tired,feel dirty. feel house needs a spring cleaning every day, hope for one. don't have the energy to clean and get the tooth brush out and bleach ...like I used to.
I am very irritated.. I will be wanting to get my carpets cleaned, clean my house with bleach, and floors as well... I can feel the intensity building.

p.s.- I have been on Staphsagaria 200c for a long time before. ( I think I was on 200c once a month at least for over a year. I know I feel good on it, but it is one roller coaster ride.)

another p.s.- one of my husband's sister told me she found out a guy from the neighborhood we knew..was a register sex offender, who got into another trouble by U.S. law..I am unable to get over that. looked him up on our police web site , saw his face..it angered me.
This is all coming up .. not too longer ago Bryonia 30c was taken along with NyQuil.

I Have experienced the runny of my nose since childhood.

It all started when my real Dad died,
and more so when I came to this country when I was adopted. I remember going through a box of kleenex like nothing. they were always wet.

It started back up again this winter. I think right after my husband's surgery. It shocked me. I always fear I'm going loose my husband as well. I used to pray and beg God, please do not take my husband from me, I have no strenght.

I sneeze often as well,and the sneez is back.

right after my real Dad died. I've had lice problem so bad, It didn't get treated until I was adopted with meds some shampoo type for good six months.

I used to experience wetting my paints as a child and it started when my Dad died.

I used smell like urine, I remember my bladder was so weak.
I used to wet the bed as well, right after my Dad. That's when I was going so much changes and received a lot of traumas.

I was not liked at school. Had lice, smelled like urine and no money. my clothes were terrible looking.

I remember one time a girl from my class, took me to her Mom and said that she wanted to give me her used dress and I tried it on. I remember her Mom saying to me. No, the dress is too good for her (ment me).

My Grandmother and Uncle who turned to Strong alcohol for comfort at this time as well.



I always got picked on by my males teachers would handle me punish me in front of class and the kids would watch and laugh because the teacher asked me to come up in front of the class...
then I would get some bitting from my uncle at home.



I remember one time, I stole $100.00 from one of my uncle's desk and spent it all on ice cream and peaches.
My uncle found out and was very angry that I stole, said he was going to beat me up with a stick. It scared me. Right after that happened, I would have to run to the restroom right after I ate.
My Grandmother noticed this and took me to an acupunterist, who concentrated on my knees. it worked.

One year: If my (female) teacher would call my name and I needed to give an anwer and stand up to give to give the anwer.
I remember having an accident right in my pants, in class.

now, last night along with the cough, I felt it in my bladder, like urine came out some. (few drops)
(after Broynia 30c. I have taken Broynia with under my Homeopathy practitiers eyes before) I had to run to the restroom like every 'few Minutes' and (mostly) would have only few drops come out.

While I slapt last night made the wheezed sound, slept holding my pillow. cough is still with me. at the moment, my nose is not runny.

Thank You.

I do not like to say ' I love you' to anyone, it does not come easy. Nor do I want to say it.

I only say it to my husband.

I even have trouble saying it to my sisters,my adopted parents, and friends. I do not hug.

I hug only my husband. and kids will hug me if I ask.
rather it's kids that are family or friends kids I'm ok with as well.

My Mother in law/I call her Mother, says she loves me all the time. she is very good to me. She is retired and limited income, but always buys me things and acts very sweet to me. If we visit she always asks what I want her to make for me to eat. ( I am in tears typing this) She is mother of six and is 72 years old her husband is 80 so we visit often to do some projects for them around their home.

Thank You So Much.

I will print out what you said, and read it very carefully.

I can't wait to get out of this state.

I will study about the exercises, since it is very new to me and practice.

Thank You Again.

I FEEL GREAT!!

I have learned so much, thank You so much for your hard work and dedication.

today I took the day off from volunteering, and I wanted to do my house work I felt worned out as well. Didn't do much until my remedy came... that tiredness I had is better.

(all my remedies came today, it took a while since I ordered so many and I wanted my remedies in 4 oz bottles. and ordered some for stock, to have more remedies on hand.)

I just took the tissue salts...Wow! I feel great!

I noticed the bright outlook I had as soon as I took them.

Where I live, I still have great amount snow,but I sat outside and enjoyied it. the sun is out and sky is very blue.
I am breathing deeply, I feel so different...In a good way.

I should be starting on my rounds with my remedies in 200c potency in few days.

I am interested to see how I do with Arsenicum Album 200c.
I have never been on that remedy with my homeopathy practitioner.
but other remedies listed for me to take, I have.

Thank You for catching that. ( I read up on Arsenicum Album,and I am looking forward to my belly going down. and with help with these remedies, my body fluids being in balance. I am very bloated everywhere. I complained to my practitioner for over a year.)

My practitioner had to deal with so many layers, and I had a tumor.


Thank You..Thank You.. Thank You.

Thank You So Much for your help.

I had no idea those exercises had that amount of benefit. I did practice here and there but not everyday.

However, I was doing it wrong anyways..I was just breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. like breathing exercise so, I didn't see the benefit of it.

I was doing the breathing exercise incorrectly.

I 'youtube' it, and found the information on it. when I followed along the youtube video, I coughed. My lungs are weak as well as other parts.

Regarding the tumor. MY previous homepathy practitioner said it was in my reproductive organ. she said my energy there was blocked. She gave me conium 30c one dose every day for four months. the visit after the remedy, I had her recheck me. and she said it was gone. she also told me I blew a fuss, but I forget what remedy I was given at that state.
and I continued on with her until she passed away.

One other thought. last year when I had the kidney stone. I had an operation to remove the stones. and two months after that I had my check up with my obgyn for my yearly check up and when she did the exam, I bled everywhere. the blood got on my gown, the table I was sitting on, and on the floor. The obgyn gave me a pad to wear home.

I just made an appointment with my obgyn for this years, yearly check up.

I took another round of the tissue salts for today. I went to the gym last night and today. muscles are sore from weith train.

thank you!

I still don't know if I'm doing the exercises correctly. the 'youtube' videos made this exercise LOOK so simple. but not to me...

but I will keep trying.

Thank You so much for your help and guidance. I am very greatful and I do appreciate it very much.
Update:
I did do both Anulomvilom and Kapalbhati Pranayam.I did them both while I was riding in the car on my way to our vacation trip.
However, If I am doing them correctly is a different story.
I am still studying it and youtube it and google it again, and trying to learn it. I did them a little again. they are not easy, it makes me cough.

I have been taking my tissue salts since my order came, yesturday however I took my dose(s) of Phos. 200c for the days worth, and today back to the tissue salts. I have been coughing today very hard since my visit to the gym today. I have been dranched with sweat all day and tired.
(I was in the car yesturday for over eighteen hours for a road trip visiting my husbands parents.) So, my body may be still be recovering from that, or the two exercise is helping with all the junk and toxins in my body,bringing it to the top, or I'm just tired.

Thank You again so very much.

one other thing, I am very thirsty.

just wanted to post my updates:

on 3/21/10 Sun. had runny nose and the cough so, I took my (three )doses of ARSEN. ALB. 200c.

did anulom vilom pranayam/kapalbhati

-I felt very much like I was on a emotional roller coaster ride for few days, I wanted nothing more then to be in bed or by myself at home to read and relax.

When I went to my place of worship on Sunday. I didn't wanted to talk to anyone, I felt very small and worthless then others, it was very strange for me. I felt like this for three days.

mon. 3/8 for some dumb reason tooked the dose of Arsen. alb. in the morning (said to myself, I needed one more dose)

Tues. 3/9 started the tissue salts again. stayed home, did nothing.

wed 3/10 took tissue salts
had trouble sleeping through out the night. Woke up at 12:30 and went back to sleep on and off through out the night. went outside did a little of the anulom vilom pranayam exercise

took arnica 30, at night to sleep. (why?.. panic mode,confused? just took it)


Thurs 3/25 slow at getting ready for the day.
got irritated/angry/and whinny
at my husband this morning because he had lefted some of his clothes on my side of the closet. (it has been there for months, and normally I don't care. but Today, it did.) I was irritated on him leaving his dry clothes hanger on my side of the closet.. I was annoyed on stupid stuff like that. Thank goodness, my husband took it with a grain of salt. (after that)

after leaving home with my husband,I was ok for the rest of the day.
(craved coffeee..had some today)